The Cure for Loneliness
by DarkSmokePuncher
Summary: A lonely 12 year old boy, who has no friends, no family, no one who actually cares for him, learns a technique that allows him to make copies of himself. What happens when he discovers they can have different personalities? M for a particularly potty-mouthed clone.
1. Chapter 1: Yami and Naruko

**Author's Note: O. M. G. Another one! This one came to mind while I was taking a break from writing the other two.. I'm an idiot. I hope you peeps laugh while you're reading it, as much as I was laughing (read cackling) while I was writing it.**

**Summary: A lonely 12 year old boy, who has no friends, no family, no one who actually cares for him, learns a technique that allows him to make copies of himself. What happens when he discovers they can have different personalities? M for a particularly potty-mouthed clone. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, just some whacky ideas.**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 1: Yami and Naruko**

**!~¡**

The sound of a key going into the lock followed by the opening of the door echoed through the dark apartment. Footsteps were heard going inside with the clicking of the light switch shortly after. Naruto closed the door and his eyes swept over the empty living room.

"I'm home," his voice was heard without getting a response. He didn't expect a response, because there never was one. But it was a habit he developed after he got his apartment when he entered the Ninja Academy. He had read somewhere that it was customary to say something like that when you got home. However, the lack of a response hit him tonight more than it ever had before.

He took off his open-tipped sandals and went into the kitchen. He wasn't feeling really hungry, but he hadn't eaten since lunch so he started boiling the water and took a cup of instant ramen, before sitting at his small table.

What a night. What a day even. He had failed the genin graduation exam for the third time in a roll. For the third time in a roll he had failed to become a full-fledged shinobi, a ninja of the Village hidden in the Leaves. And then Mizuki, one of the teachers at the Academy, who had probably taken pity on him, had given him a second chance. Or so he had thought at least.

Mizuki had told him that there was a secondary, make-up exam that tested all aspects of shinobi life. First, he had to sneak into the Hokage**(1)** tower. It was the building where the village leader lived and conducted every-day business. It was to test his stealth and infiltration skills.

Afterwards, he had to locate something called the Forbidden Scroll, which contained many of the village's secret jutsu**(2)**. He had to take it, eliminate any opposition that he had found on the way and escape successfully. That had also been easy enough with the only real opposition coming from the Old Man Hokage, but Naruto had taken care of him with his ultimate technique.

Finally, he had to find a secret place where he had to learn one jutsu from the scroll, before he was found. Another easy task, even though the jutsu he had chosen was the hated clone technique. This one was different from the one the Academy curriculum taught. While the Academy jutsu only created an illusionary copy of himself, the one he learned from the scroll created a solid clone. It was supposedly a harder and more dangerous technique, but for some reason Naruto had learned it really quickly.

That's when things had started going wrong. Iruka, one of the other Academy instructors had been the first to find him. He had told him that Mizuki was a traitor and that he had used him to steal the Forbidden scroll. Afterwards, Mizuki himself had shown and revealed the mother of all secrets.

Naruto was an orphan. He had no parents, no siblings, not even any friends, no one in the world who actually cared for him. He sometimes met with the Old Man Hokage and maybe there was an occasional trip to Ichiraku Ramen with Iruka. But he couldn't really call them family. As if that wasn't bad enough, but for some reason everyone in the village hated him. Everyone, with some very little exceptions, would give him cold stares or would outright glare at him. They would ignore him and pretend he wasn't there. They would speak behind his back, thinking that he couldn't hear their harsh words. And worse, they would tell their children to treat him the same way.

And tonight, thanks to Mizuki he had finally found out why. Apparently, it was a huge village secret, that nobody was allowed to tell him about. 12 years ago, on October 10, also known as his birthday, the Kyūbi no Kitsune**(3)** attacked the village. The Fourth Hokage, had defeated the beast and had saved the village. Except you can't really kill the Kyūbi, you can only seal it into a person, preferably a newborn child. Unfortunately for Naruto, he had been the only newborn child available at the time.

Everything after that revelation had become a blur. He had beaten Mizuki into a bloody pulp, after which he and Iruka had returned the Forbidden scroll to the Hokage. Naruto had asked the Old Man many questions about the Kyūbi and what he was and had received some long-winded explanations he would think about at some later point in time.

The whistling of the kettle tore Naruto from his musings and he stood up to grab it and prepare his dinner. He poured the hot water into the cup and put the lid back on. Three minutes until dinner was done. He hated waiting for those three minutes. Instead, he thought of doing something productive and went into the bathroom to wash up quickly. A minute and a half was dedicated to that, followed by thirty seconds of changing clothes. That gave him a minute to spare, which he spent looking at the forehead protector with the Leaf insignia on it.

Getting promoted to genin was definitely the highlight of the day. He had now officially made the first step to fulfilling his dream of becoming Hokage. The only thing that marred the happy occasion was the absence of someone to actually share his happiness with. In fact, he really really wanted someone to talk to about some other things. Namely the Fox.

Sure, the Old Man had answered his questions and Iruka had given him some reassurances or whatever. But he didn't think they could really understand. The only people that could probably understand him and have any meaningful words were people like him. Other Jintubiki or something**(4)**. Right now, he really needed someone like that to tell him things would be all right. That he wasn't alone or that they truly, really understood. But just his luck, he was the only Jynsuriki in Konohagakure**(5)**. The only one who could really understand him right now was.. himself.

He had barely finished the thought and without even realizing it he had dropped the forehead protector and was already making the cross seal.

**"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu(6)!" **His voice was barely a whisper and sounded alien to him, but it was his voice nonetheless. Because with a poof of smoke there was another him right before his eyes. Or so he thought.

The person in front of him had his height. He also had the same blond unruly hair with each strand of hair having its own opinion on the proper direction of growth. He had a round face with a slightly angular jaw and three whisker birthmarks on each cheek. He also wore his same orange tracksuit with blue on the shoulders and the waist, a white swirl with a tassel on the left side, a large white collar, orange pants and kunai holster on his right leg. On all those parameters it was definitely his kage bunshin**(7)**. Except the eyes. The eyes were completely wrong.

While his eyes were bright blue with white sclera, the clone had red eyes with black sclera. Their most striking feature was the complete lack of pupils.

"Who.. Who are you?" Naruto asked flabbergasted.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm your clone, you dimwit," answered his apparent clone.

"Hey! Don't call me that! I'm not stupid!" Naruto shouted, pointing a finger at his clone.

"Really? I think there's a whole village out there that would beg to differ. Not to mention your test scores," the clone replied smoothly, crossing his arms.

Naruto was about to protest loudly again and even opened his mouth to shout but nothing came out. He simply looked at his clone before turning to the side and murmuring, "Figures, even my clones treat me like I'm nothing."

"Oh?" replied the clone, "and what did you expect?"

"I don't know! Something else! A bit of comfort maybe?! You're me! You should care!" Naruto screamed with tears pooling at corner of his eyes.

"Of course I care!" the clone blurted angrily which made both of them freeze. The ensued silence wasn't long as the clone spoke again, "I may hate this village and everyone in it. I might even hold a large amount of annoyance for you. But I do care."

Whatever things the clone expected as a reply, being hugged by Naruto wasn't one of them.

"Hey!" the clone said annoyed and tried to push his Creator away, "Let go! What are you doing?" But no matter how much he pushed, Naruto wouldn't let go. Hearing the sobs made him stop. The clone stood completely frozen, trying his best not to acknowledge Naruto was crying. Even if they were different it stirred the same emotions deep in him. But it was a losing battle and after a bit the clone returned the embrace. Without the crying of course.

_"What a pathetic sight,"_ the clone thought. They were so alone, they had to use the shadow clone technique to actually get a hug. It just reinforced the clone's hatred for the village and everyone in it.

After a while Naruto's sobs disappeared and he asked, "So why are your eyes red if you're my clone? I thought you were supposed to be my exact rep.. repy.. copy or something."

The clone dropped the embrace with no resistance this time before letting out a sigh. "All right, let's go to the kitchen and get the ramen before it gets cold. I'll explain while you eat."

"Want me to make you ramen as well? If you're my clone, you should be hungry," Naruto asked while they were walking towards the kitchen.

"And that's why it'd be a waste to give me food. I'm a clone, I'll disappear after a while," the clone said.

"So? Tonight's special, I became a genin! I'll make you one," Naruto said, happy at the prospect of having dinner with someone. Even if it was just a clone.

Said clone was about to protest but then stopped. He was actually curious what would happen if he ate food. Was he even capable of eating food? Of digesting it and absorbing it? If he was a complete copy.. Well, with some differences, but at least the body was a complete copy, then he should have a functioning digestive system.

_"Wait, what the hell am I debating for?! This is free ramen, of course I'll eat,"_ the clone thought and sat on the table opposite Naruto. Now he had to wait for the blasted three minutes to pass. Naruto also decided to wait, even if his ramen was already ready. He figured it wouldn't be nice to start eating before his clone.

After the three minutes had passed Naruto clapped his hands and said "Itadakimasu**(8)**!" excitedly, while the clone said the same thing with much less enthusiasm and volume. They both ate in silence, enjoying the taste of the food of Gods that was ramen and funnily enough, each other's company.

"So," Naruto was the first to speak after they had finished their respective meals, "what are you exactly?"

The clone kept silent for a bit longer before sighing and scratching the back of his head. "I'm still your clone. Or more precisely, a clone of your hidden self."

"My hidden self?" Naruto crossed his arms and tilted his head in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Look, remember how you were feeling when you made me?" the clone asked, getting an uneasy nod from Naruto. "You felt completely alone and incredibly sad. Normally you hide those emotions. During the years you've hidden all those emotions every time one of those idiotic villagers glared at you or whispered behind your back. You bottled it all up." The clone looked Naruto directly in the eyes.

"I am the result. I am all of those repressed emotions. I am your loneliness, your hatred towards the villagers, I am every single fake smile that was masking your pain."

"What?! I don't hate the village!" Naruto shouted but only got a snort from his clone.

"Figures, you keep pretending like I don't exist. Just like how the villagers pretend you don't exist."

Naruto reeled back, as if his face had been punched with the last statement. He just stared at the clone with wide eyes, unable to say anything, so the clone continued.

"No matter how much you deny it or pretend I don't exist, I'm still there. Hidden deep in here," the clone touched Naruto's chest gently before continuing. "And I'll keep growing. I am everything about yourself that you try to ignore."

"So.. I brought you out because of the way I was feeling while I used the Kage Bunshin no jutsu," Naruto said after a while.

"That's right. I'm still a clone of you. Just a different aspect of your personality that's stronger in me. So even if I'm a clone, I'm still slightly different," the clone replied and the two settled into silence once again.

"Hey, wanna play something?" Naruto asked producing a deck of cards out of somewhere.

"What?" the clone's jaw fell.

"You know, Ninja belote, Ninja hearts, Ninja poker.." Naruto explained as he started shuffling the cards expertly.

"Do I look like someone who enjoys playing card games?" the clone asked incredulously.

"Well, you look like someone who has way too much fun setting things on fire. But that doesn't mean we can't play something," Naruto said flipping cards around at very high speeds. "Besides, this is the first time I have someone at home. I'm sick of solitaire."

The clone was about to retort with a particularly snarky remark but stopped himself. He was doing that a lot tonight. Yet he had to agree, he hated solitaire as well. Ninja poker sounded like a good idea at the moment. So he opted for a different remark.

"Prepare to get creamed, looser," said the clone.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Oh, it's on."

**!~¡**

Rays of sunshine broke through the window and with the nasty accuracy they usually had to them hit Naruto right in his eyes. The blond grumbled and threw his pillow at the offenders with a great deal of futility, since all he managed to accomplish was hit the window. He let out a sigh, before he slowly rose in his bed.

He yawned and blearily looked around the room and into his living room through the opened door of his bedroom. He noted the distinct absence of his clone. The last thing he remembered was playing ninja poker before passing out around 3 o'clock in the morning. For a brief moment he wondered if it was all just a dream. If he was so lonely that he actually summoned a clone that had a different personality just to have some company after a crazy day.

"Maybe I've started losing my mind.." the blond muttered.

"That would imply actually having one in the first place, numbskull," he heard a noise coming from next to him. Wide-eyed, he turned his head and saw the clone from last night lying on the bed shirtless. Not a second later Naruto let out a scream and fell off the bed, hitting his head hard. Through the stars that were dancing over his eyes he could hear the clone's loud and annoying laughter.

"Oh God, you should have seen your face," the clone choked out and kept laughing.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?!" Naruto managed after he got up.

"I was sleeping until a while ago. You have only one bed in the apartment, dimwit," the clone responded.

"Why the hell are you shirtless?" Naruto asked.

"Well, you had only one set of pajamas. Besides, I was interested to see your reaction and you didn't disappoint," the clone replied giving Naruto a wink and got off the bed.

Naruto's eye twitched as he felt his whole body shiver with an unpleasant feeling. He knew the clone was making fun of him but it was still unsettling. "You're a jerk."

"Hey, I try my best. Thanks for noticing," the clone laughed again. "Come on, go get washed up and let's get breakfast. We have things to discuss."

"Discuss?" Naruto asked on his way to the bathroom.

"Talk about," the clone translated from the kitchen while he started making some toast.

"I knew that!" Naruto shouted and started the shower.

Ten minutes later both blonds were sitting on the table and silently eating. Naruto was about to drink from his carton of milk before he was stopped by the clone.

"Don't drink that, it's past the expiration date."

"Oh," Naruto said and put the carton on the table before he frowned. That meant only toast for breakfast.

"We need to get proper groceries," the clone said.

"It's fine, I still have ramen," Naruto said.

"We can't live only off of ramen. We should get other stuff like fruit and vegetables," the clone tried to reason.

"Ewww!" Naruto exclaimed and pointed an accusing finger at his clone, "traitor!"

"Hey, I represent everything you hate, including proper nutrition," the clone shrugged.

"Nutrition?" Naruto asked, scrunching his eyes and nose in confusion.

"It means eating healthy food so you don't remain short forever," the clone snickered.

"Hey! Why do you keep insulting me? Us!" Naruto asked annoyed.

"I'm just saying things as they are. Remember, whatever you ignore I don't," the clone said.

Naruto grumbled but conceded in the end, "Fine, if it will shut you up, we'll buy the stupid fruit and vegetables."

"Wow, you're not entirely unreasonable. This might not be so hard after all," the clone said.

Naruto just flipped him off before yelling, "How the hell do you know about proper nucrition anyway?!"

"Nutrition," the clone corrected without missing a beat. "Remember all those classes in the Academy you ignored?" Naruto's look told him that no, he did not remember, so the clone just continued. "Well, as I've said many times, whatever you ignore.."

"I know, I know, you don't. So?" Naruto cut in.

"Well, one of the classes was on proper ninja nutrition. What kind of foods you should eat in order to compensate for the high amount of energy you spend while doing missions," the clone explained.

"So what, we have to stop eating ramen?" Naruto asked, horror clearly etched on his face.

"Hell no!" this was probably the first time Naruto saw the clone so unsettled. "Ramen is really high on calories, even if the sodium might be too much." The clone saw Naruto's look and explained with a sigh, "Sodium basically means salt."

"I knew that," Naruto muttered looking away. The clone just rolled his eyes and continued with the explanation. "The problem with ramen is it's high on calories but not other things that are important for our growth. Stuff like vitamins and fiber which are in abundance in fruit and vegetables."

Naruto let out another sigh, before finally conceding, "Fffffffine."

The clone smiled which sent a chill down the original's spine. Sometimes Naruto forgot that the clone represented all of his hatred and malicious thoughts. The clone hated Konoha and everyone in it. It was civil towards him, because it was him. It didn't change the fact that Naruto felt really happy for its attention, even if to an outsider it would probably look pathetic. Pathetic at least was way better than alone in Naruto's book.

Putting those thoughts aside, Naruto asked, "So, what else do you want to talk about?"

"Ugh, there is so much! Where should I start?" the clone threw his hands in the air, before standing up and heading for the living room. "We better get comfortable, this will be a long conversation."

Naruto followed him and both blonds settled on the couch.

"Okay, first, you may not have noticed, but I'm still here," the clone began.

"Uhm.. Of course I've noticed, I can see you," Naruto gave the clone a confused look.

"Normally when you create Shadow Clones, you split your own chakra and give your clone a certain amount. I was given half of your chakra, which is an incredibly large amount. We have the stupid Fox to thank for that," the clone paused to see if Naruto was still with him.

"So you were made with the furball's chakra?" Naruto asked a bit confused.

"No, with ours. But we have incredibly large chakra reserves and I think it's because of the Fox. Unfortunately, even I don't know the theory behind it, but I guess it's characteristic for Jinchūriki**(9)**," explained the clone and Naruto palmed his face in realization. Jinchūriki! That's what the Old Man had called him. "There's more, not only have you split our own chakra between the two of us, but you've also split Kyūbi's chakra as well. Meaning each of us has a piece of the Fox in them."

"So that applies for every clone I make?" Naruto asked.

"Yep. But that's not the only reason I'm still here. Now, tell me, how do we restore our chakra after we spend it?" the clone asked. He could have outright explained it to Naruto since it was another lesson from the Academy that was ignored. But he wanted the Creator to think for a change. Who knows, it might actually become a habit.

"Uhm.. By resting?" Naruto replied after a while.

"What else?"

"Hmm.. Eating?" he tried again.

"That's right," the clone said. "You restore chakra with rest and nourishment. That doesn't apply to clones though, just being in the world drains from the chakra you've given us so resting doesn't work for us. Which is strange, since I have a fully developed chakra system which is a complete copy of yours. It gets stranger though, because nourishment actually did restore some of the chakra that you've given me."

"So you eating last night, helped you replenish chakra? Oh, that's why you ate this morning as well, to stay here longer!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yep. Unfortunately I don't know if that's how the jutsu is supposed to work or if it has something to do with our furry friend," the clone rubbed his stomach. "You did not read the entire description of the jutsu from the scroll, just how it's performed and immediately started practicing."

"Hm.. Should we steal it again? Or maybe ask the Old Man?" Naruto suggested.

"Naa, it's probably guarded better now. And I don't trust the Hokage," said the clone.

"What?! But he's the Old Man, he helped us with the apartment! He's been helping us all our life!" Naruto said.

"You're making it sound like it's a big deal. He's just protecting his weapon," the clone said and after seeing Naruto's shocked expression continued with an explanation, "we're a Jinchūriki. A sacrifice made for the good of the village. You heard him last night, there are eight others like us. Every big village has Jinchūriki because of the power of the beasts sealed inside us. Because in case of wars, we get sent to the frontlines."

Another silence followed and the clone could see Naruto was thinking hard over what was just said. But the clone was not satisfied.

"This is why I hate this village and everyone in it. They spout crap about the Will of Fire and how everyone should stick together and protect the dreams of the new generation. Yet they treat us like dirt, despite the sacrifice we made. We were never even given a choice on the matter. Just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

Naruto racked his brain for a response and quickly retorted, "They just lost people to the Fox. They're afraid.."

"Oh? And I suppose taking it on a small child made them feel better," the clone responded.

Naruto opened his mouth and closed it immediately. The clone took it as encouragement and tried pushing it even further, "I'm telling you, number one on the agenda should be burning this village to the ground while laughing madly in the background," the clone grinned and barely managed to dodge the fist that was launched at its face. He grabbed it and looked at his Creator, "Careful now. One hit and I'm gone."

Naruto was really tempted to follow through.. But that meant being alone again. So instead he settled for a threat.

"Don't even joke like that. It's not like killing everyone will change our past," he said with a serious frown on his face. It was a surprisingly mature thing to say and the clone knew exactly why. After all, Naruto had thought about it in the past before locking those thoughts away.

"Tch, fine," the clone conceded. "They're not worth the time anyway," he waved dismissively and looked out of the window. They both kept silent, each with their own thoughts, until the clone spoke again and stirred them back on track.

"Either way, we can experiment with the Kage Bunshin no jutsu ourselves. It's not like you have a shortage on chakra. We can really test the limits. Besides, I don't think the Nidaime**(10)** even imagined something like clones having different personalities would be possible."

"Huh? The Nidaime?" Naruto asked confused.

"He was the Creator of the jutsu, it was written right above the name in the scroll," the clone shook his head in exasperation.

"Oh.. I knew that," Naruto scratched the back of his head nervously. "So what should we try first?"

"First," the clone said, "you're going to clean the apartment."

"What?!"

"It's filthy. We are not going to keep living like a bunch of pigs," the clone would not budge on this.

"Since when did you care?!" Naruto asked incredulously.

The clone let out a sigh and looked his Creator straight in the eye. "Seems like you keep forgetting. Whatever you ignore, I notice. You ignore the state of your apartment, I'm going to point it out."

"Ugh, I hate cleaning! It's so tedious!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Hmm.. If only there was some jutsu you could use to make a copy of yourself.. A copy that could do all the housework. Hey, even cook, like a maid!" the clone supplied.

"Oh right.. So I just make a clone?" Naruto asked.

"Actually.. Let's start testing right away," the clone said thoughtfully. "I want you to remember how the kids brought homemade lunches to the Academy."

"What, how will that help?" Naruto scrunched his eyes in confusion.

"Just close your eyes and do it." the clone said. With a sigh, Naruto did just that and kept silent. "Now," the clone continued, "remember how they brought those lunches and how they were talking about them. How they would trade with each other, how they would talk about them and even complain about certain things." Naruto frowned after a moment which nudged the clone to continue, "now remember how you felt. How nice it would've been if someone cooked for us. If someone cleaned after us and nagged us for being messy, scolded us for not doing our chores, but still took care of our home."

Naruto's frown deepened. He remembered those feelings. He had felt them just last week. He'd been feeling them for the past five years since he started the Academy. His hands twitched and he made the cross hand sign needed for the shadow clone technique.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

With a poof of smoke another clone appeared in the room. Naruto and the red-eyed clone looked at the new arrival expectantly. He was a complete copy of Naruto, complete with the blue eyes. The silence was broken by the Creator.

"So.. Do you have the urge to clean and prepare food for us?" he asked.

"Hell no!" the new clone shouted which made both Naruto and the red-eyed clone frown. However, before they could say anything, the new clone continued, "I'm not going to be your maid! Maids are supposed to be female!"

Naruto and the red-eyed clone exchanged a look, before the Creator asked, "But you don't mind cleaning or cooking?"

"Well.." the new clone hesitated for a moment, "I mean.. This place is pretty dirty.. And you do need to eat properly.. I just.."

"You're uncomfortable with being a male maid?" the red-eyed clone asked.

"Uhm.." the new clone hesitated again before nodding a bit shylily.

"Well, it's a good thing we have the jutsu for that, don't we?" Naruto grinned.

Realization hit the new clone before he made the Ram sign.

**"Oiroke no jutsu(11)!"**

Another poof of smoke surrounded the new clone before it dissipated to reveal a girl. She was as tall as Naruto and had the same eyes, whisker marks and golden blond hair as him. However it was much much longer than his and tied into two high pigtails. If they were untied, it would probably flow below her waist. She had slender legs and arms and a lithe body with a flat well-toned stomach. She was also completely naked.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" the girl shouted loudly and tried to cover her modesty.

"What the hell?!" Naruto and the red-eyed clone both grabbed their ears in pain.

"Perverts!" the girl screamed again and crouched to the ground, trying to further cover herself.

"What the -uck is wrong with you?!" the red-eyed clone shouted in annoyance. "He," the clone pointed at Naruto, "created the technique! There's nothing you have that we haven't seen!"

"Oh," the girl-clone said before she stood up. "Oopsie," she rubbed the back of her head sheepishly and laughed nervously.

The red-eyed clone sighed and muttered something about being surrounded by idiots. Naruto on the other hand just smiled and said, "It's okay, you kind of did the right thing. I mean technically you're a girl now and that's the normal reaction."

The girl-clone giggled but frowned after she heard the red-eyed clone say "Yeah whatever. You should get to work." She suddenly took a step forward that brought her right in front of her red-eyed brother and narrowed her eyes dangerously while putting her hands on her hips and looking downwards at him.

The red-eyed clone suddenly felt like he hadn't said the right thing. An ancient fear that was basically incorporated in his genes (or his cloned genes if someone wanted to get technical about it) made him sit straight and stiffened his whole body. It was a fear known to all men, no matter their age or standing. It was the fear of pissing off the wrong representative of the female species.

"What," her voice had changed from bubbly and cheerful to ice-cold and merciless, "did you say to me?"

The red-eyed clone realized this was stupid. She was just a clone, coming from the same Creator as him. She wasn't even a real she. She shouldn't be able to channel such powers through her voice. Yet no matter how much he repeated those thoughts in his head he wisely decided to carefully choose his next words.

"Um.. Sorry for shouting at you like that," the red-eyed clone said in a rush.

Naruto on the other hand couldn't help himself from snickering. Seeing the red-eyed jerk squirm like that was incredibly funny. Unfortunately, the noise brought the attention of his female clone to him.

"And what," she snapped at the Creator, "is so damn funny if I may ask?" she said with an edge to her voice that suggested it better not be her that was being the funny one.

Naruto gulped nervously and stammered, "Um.. N-nothing! N-nothing at all!"

She narrowed her eyes further, making both of them sweat and retreat even more into the couch before asking, "I suppose you're expecting me to cook, clean and be your maid now?"

Naruto exchanged a look with the red-eyed clone. A silent war was waged between them, before the clone finally answered, "Well, uh.. That was why you were created and why you were given your personality."

The girl-clone seemed to consider this for a moment. She rolled the words in her mind as if she was testing them, putting them under scrutiny and trying to find if there was anything wrong with them. She realized that actually yes, she did want to take care of the Creator. Being taken care of was one of his deepest childish desires that had existed since the moment he started living alone. Which made it one of her desires and taking care of the apartment and him would be fulfilling that desire and by proxy her desire as well. The female clone could find nothing wrong with that logic and she agreed to her role and purpose. However, she did find plenty wrong with her current attire.

"All right," she said and a collective release of a held breath was heard coming from the two boys.

"However," she continued and a collective intake of a sharp breath was heard coming from the two boys, "I need the proper clothes."

"What?" the red-eyed clone managed out.

"If I'm going to be your maid," she looked at the Creator, "you will provide me with the right uniform."

Naruto gulped and was about to answer but the red-eyed clone was faster, "You're a clone! You'll disappear after you finish your job!"

The girl-clone's head whipped in his direction and she bend her waist to close in on her prey, "So?"

The red-eyed clone had suddenly discovered he could not back-up any further into the couch no matter how much he tried. Luckily for him, Naruto saved his sorry behind just in the nick of time.

"Maid uniform! Right," Naruto jumped from his seat, grabbed the red-eyed clone's wrist and pulled him away towards the door of the apartment, "We'll go and get you one right away!"

"And it better have orange on it!" They heard her shout before they shut the apartment door behind them. The two of them let out another breath they didn't know they were holding, before the red-eyed clone looked at the Original.

"What the -uck did you just create?" he asked.

Naruto just gave him a defeated look, before he headed down the stairs, "Come on, the sooner we get the uniform, the better." His red-eyed copy just followed him. Naruto turned towards him and asked, "And what does 'uck' mean?"

"I'll explain on the way," the clone replied.

Thirty minutes later and a quick trip to a store known as Orange World saw the two back at their apartment and looking at a surprisingly cheerful female clone. She was twirling around and looking over herself in the mirror. She was wearing a typical maid uniform with one notable difference from the normal maid uniforms - whatever wasn't black was orange, instead of white. It consisted of a black, frilly dress with a pair of black wristbands. It had a dark orange frilly skirt in addition under the dress and a dark orange frilly apron fastened into a giant orange ribbon at the back of her slim waist. The cap was also dark orange with a small black ribbon at the middle. She also wore a pair of orange stockings and the outfit was completed with a pair of black high-heeled open-tipped ninja sandals.

She giggled and once again twirled in front of the mirror. Both boys had to admit she looked pretty good in it. One could never go wrong with orange. Thank the Gods for Orange World. It was a small store that offered a wide variety of clothes, items and accessories that came in orange and its many variations. It was oriented to all people who had an appreciation for the colour, so as expected it had a very niche and eccentric clientele. The outfit had put a small dent into Naruto's finances, but for some reason he felt happy when he saw his female clone so full of joy. It was probably because the outfit could be considered a gift and he rarely got those. So by proxy, his clones rarely got those as well. Again, it was probably pathetic, getting all happy about a gift he technically made to himself. And again, he did not care.

"So," Naruto said, catching the attention of both his clones, "what should I call you guys? I mean I know you're both clones, but you have your own personalities and it'd be weird to say 'Hey you" or something."

The two clones looked at their Creator with surprise. He did have a point, even if they were all the same being, they were different aspects. Having names would be easier for communication. But it had a much deeper meaning than that - having names would give them an identity. They would become someone in each other's life. And the fact that the Creator acknowledged them like that made them incredibly happy.. Or slightly less homicidal in the red-eyed clone's case.

The female clone scrunched her face in her thinking pose, looking much like Naruto when he had the same pose. After a bit of thinking she finally said, "I think.. I'd like the name Naruko."

"Naruko?" Naruto said surprised.

"What? Something wrong with it?" she challenged him, even though she felt a bit of anxiety. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have a name that resembled the Creator's so much.. Maybe she had offended him..

"No!" Naruto said quickly, "I like it, it sounds pretty cute," he grinned. "It suits you."

The newly named Naruko couldn't help her blush, before she tugged one of her pigtails in embarrassment.

"And what about you?" Naruto asked the red-eyed clone as both he and Naruko turned to him.

The clone kept silent for a moment longer before he stood up. He moved towards Naruto and offered him his hand while looking him straight in the eyes.

"Yami**(12)**."

Naruto looked at him for a long period of time. He could do a lot of things. Tell him to pick another name. Dispel him and lock him away deep into his soul like before. He would lie if he said he liked the red-eyed clone. It worried him. But at the same time, he would be doing the same thing the villagers had done to him in the past. Worse yet, he would be doing it to a side of himself that yearned his acceptance as much as he yearned for acceptance in general. Acceptance he felt he had finally achieved from his clones, as pathetic as it sounded. Still pathetic was better than lonely.

It was a tense moment, a moment where the Universe held its breath in expectation to see what would happen. Slowly, Naruto lifted his hand and grasped Yami's. In the end, he was a part of him. If he wanted to move on in life, he had to be able to accept himself.

"Nice to meet you, Yami," Naruto smiled at him.

For years to come, Yami would deny it, no matter how adamant Naruto and Naruko were about it. Yet the edges of his lips twitched slightly upwards from the thin line that he usually wore on his face.

A loud squeal was heard and both boys found themselves gripped in a tight hug by Naruko, who could not contain her happiness as she jumped around.

"What the.. Unhand me you airheaded bimbo!" Yami screamed with a voice filled with annoyance. Naruko ignored him. And Naruto couldn't hold his laughter anymore.

**!~¡**

**(1) Hokage **- Literally means Fire Shadow - the leader of the Village hidden in the Leaves;**  
>(2) Jutsu<strong> - Technique;  
><strong>(3) Kyūbi no Kitsune <strong>- Nine-tailed Demon Fox;**  
>(4) <strong>Naruto and big words do not agree with each other;  
><strong>(5)<strong> **Konohagakure no Sato **- Village hidden in the Leaves;  
><strong>(6) Kage Bunshin no Jutsu <strong>- Shadow Clone technique;  
><strong>(7) kage bunshin <strong>- Literally means shadow clone;**  
>(8) Itadakimasu <strong>- it is customary to say this before eating a meal; literally means "Thank you for the food!";  
><strong>(9) Jinchūriki <strong>- Literally means "Power of a human sacrifice";  
><strong>(10) Nidaime <strong>- the Second Hokage;  
><strong>(11) Oiroke no jutsu <strong>- Sexy technique;  
><strong>(12) Yami <strong>- Darkness.

**!~¡**

**Author's musings: Chapter One finished! Two will probably be coming shortly and then I will be continuing House of Two. Some changes will be coming to it. In any case, let me know if you like the idea, the setting and the writing so far. Reviews are always loved and appreciated! Ta-ta ~**

**!~¡**


	2. Chapter 2: Ground rules

**Author's ramblings: Chapter two is here! First, I'm glad so many people have read it and apparently liked it. Thank you to the wonderful reviewers **Elder Sibling**,** lolol1991**, **Samnamikaze23**, **idea-getthe**(your name got edited out for some reason so I had to change it, sorry), **GreenEggsN'Ham**, **Guest(1) **and **ice flame dragon**! Here are some responses as well ~**

**idea-getthe: **Unfortunately, Yami and Naruko won't be the only clones. They will probably be the main ones though, especially Yami.

**Guest(1):** Thank you for the correction, I went back and changed it. As for the particular scene, it was not my intention to make Naruto look like that. Yami likes having laughs at the Original's expense and the whole thing was meant as a joke, no deeper meaning. It's my failure as a writer that I wasn't able to convey the scene properly, but I've gone back and changed it slightly.

**Thank you all once again for the reading, reviewing, favouring and following! If you find any mistakes or have any questions don't hesitate to mention them. I may not answer all of them immediately, since my goal is for the story to speak for itself. But they will be answered in due time. Also, nothing is set in stone. I might give you an answer, but later on change it, it's just how it goes. Enough ramblings! Here is chapter 2!**

**Enjoy !~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 2: Ground rules**

**!~¡**

It took some time for Naruko to calm down and release them. But in the end she did and immediately went around the apartment to check what kind of supplies they actually had and what would they need to buy for the future cleaning and food preparation. The task didn't take particularly long and that was why she was currently sitting on a chair in front of the couch, where Naruto and Yami had been patiently waiting for her.

"We've got nothing," Naruko said. "Like.. I found one bottle of bathroom cleaner from a brand that stopped existing a little after we moved in."

"Huh.." was the only response that came from Naruto, while Yami decided it would be safer if he kept quiet for now.

"What do you mean 'huh'?!" Naruko raised her voice slightly. "When was the last time we even cleaned this place?!"

All three of them went down memory lane until they reached a particular day almost an year and a half ago. During those times, Naruto had found it annoying to take out the trash every week and instead had opted for doing it once a month. Which, in Naruto terms actually meant once every three or so months. The day they were thinking about was special because the trash hadn't been taken care of for the record time of 4 months and 24 days. Which resulted in it somehow developing sentience and attacking Naruto once he got back home from the Academy. Needless to say, the trash had been taken care of every week from then on, like clockwork. The shock (and the ensuing battle) had been so great that Naruto had even spent the whole of two days completely cleaning the entire apartment**(1)**.

After the memory had been relived, three worried glances were sent towards the trash can. It was observed for an entire minute, just in case it was also reliving the same memory and decided there should be some sort of reenactment for good old times' sake.

"We'll need to buy a lot of things," Naruko said after they were certain there was no silly garbage can sneaking on them or something. "We also need to get groceries, the only thing we have left is half a loaf of bread, a carton of expired milk, and about 20 instant ramen cups."

There was a groan heard from Naruto. "This will put a serious dent on our savings." From the moment he had joined the Academy and had started living in his own apartment, Naruto had been receiving an orphan stipend. He had learnt from a very young age how to manage his money and he wasn't actually a person who indulged too much. He avoided buying anything more than the essentials with the exception of a couple of purchases from Orange World. The cold treatment he had usually received from stores had nothing to do with it. He was just a very smart spender. Yep.

Still, buying enough cleaning supplies and garbage bags for a complete spring cleaning would probably be expensive. Not to mention cleaning supplies would now be a constant expense as well, since Naruko would probably do her best to keep the place tidy. Another thought came to mind and Naruto immediately voiced it.

"If we're going to eat better, we'll have to spend more money on food. And we'll have to buy for three people now too.." he hid his face in his hands at the image of a large chunk of bills suddenly growing wings and flying away to money heaven.

"Not exactly," Yami finally spoke.

"What do you mean?" Naruto looked up from his hands.

"First, we have this," Yami said and produced a small green toad purse from his pocket. It was well-rounded from the amount of bills inside it and it also had four small legs coming from the sides. If it were to be opened, it would look like the toad was actually opening its mouth. There was also a white strip on its belly where the words "Naruto's wallet" could be read.

Naruto gasped, "Gama**(2)**-chan**(3)**!" He frantically reached for his own pocket, "When the hell did you.." he trailed off when he took his own purse out. Both his and Naruko's eyes widened when they looked between the two wallets in realization.

"That's right," Yami said. "The Kage Bunshin no jutsu not only makes copies of the person, but also of their entire equipment. Meaning clothes, weapons and money," he explained and opened his Gama-chan to show them its contents. And true to his word, it was filled with bills.

"So wait, they're also an exact replica? Even the amount?" Naruko asked.

"That's right. Which means we could use this," Yami grinned one of his plotting grins.

Naruto on the other hand was frowning. "What happens when the clone disappears?"

Yami hesitated only for a moment before answering, "Well, naturally all of the equipment disappears as well."

"We're not using this then!" Naruto said and crossed his arms.

Naruko was looking between the two of them in confusion with slightly furrowed brows. After a moment she realized what the they were talking about, but instead of saying anything she just grabbed one of her pigtails and started playing with it nervously between her fingers.

"Naruto," Yami began, "we won't last long with our savings. We need to use this to our advantage."

"It'd be the same as stealing! Or paying with fake money!" Naruto protested.

"We're ninja now. If you haven't forgotten, lying, cheating and stealing is part of the job description," Yami said calmly.

A flash in Naruto's eyes suggested that he may have forgotten that part, however his features immediately turned back into a frown. "It's not right!"

"Right?!" Yami raised his voice in barely contained anger. "What part of our life can ever be considered as remotely right?" he asked through clenched teeth.

No response came from Naruto or Naruko for that matter. It was a retropical question.. Uhm.. That question that already had an answer. The fact Naruto was sitting in his apartment right now and talking to two clones was the answer.

Yami looked at their expressions and his face relaxed a bit. He shifted his gaze at the far wall and ran a hand through his hair. It was painful to bring up how pathetic their life actually was, but Naruto needed a wake-up call. Yami couldn't blame him really. Naruto had been ignoring everything that had been bothering him for far too long. Yami had to be begrudgingly thankful since that was the reason he even existed. And he was here, at this moment, because he had to make sure Naruto couldn't ignore anymore. Still, the village hadn't been built in a day.. Or whatever. Yami wasn't sure if that was the right expression. The point was he should be taking little steps.

"Look," he said after letting out a long-drown out sigh, "we won't be doing it all the time. It would be too suspicious and would draw attention. And we should only do it to stores that treated us particularly nasty. It would just be righteous karma." He didn't get a response so he continued, "Besides, technically it's not paying with fake money. These are actually real money, or rather perfect copies of real money. No matter how much they're inspected, there is nothing wrong with them and for the duration of their existence they can be used without any problems. And when they do disappear, they will leave no trace or evidence leading back to us. People will just think they lost them or something."

"You're just saying things to make us feel better about the whole thing," Naruto finally responded.

"Rationalization," Yami said without thinking, getting two pairs of confused looks. "That's what you call lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better," he explained.

"How do you even know these things?!" Naruto yelled in annoyance.

Yami smirked. "Remember how I told you I represent everything that you ignore? Well, that included your intelligence."

A light giggle could be heard from Naruko while Naruto just glared at his red-eyed clone. Then his face lit up as if he had thought of some particularly snarky remark, which he immediately fired, "Ha! You think you're so clever? Well, you're not! You're my copy, which means you have my intelligence and I have _no_ intelligence!"

Silence engulfed the apartment. If you were a being of sufficient enough intellect and comprehension of cosmic dynamics, you would be able to hear even the Universe palming her face at this exact moment.

"Naruto.." the only present female was the first to speak. "That was.. really lame."

Naruto on the other hand was looking away, his cheeks practically emanating crimson light from the blush he had on. He should really really really spend at least 5 seconds thinking before saying the first thing that came to his mind. It shouldn't be that hard.. right?

Yami was shaking his head and rubbing the sides. He was doing his best to squash the urge to go on a particularly long and no doubt satisfying murder spree. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Why? Why him? He was just a dark, repressed bundle of malicious emotions. He didn't deserve this.. All right, maybe he deserved it a little for all those fantasies of Konoha burning and him dancing around and cackling from the bottom of his heart. But he was trying his best!

Worse yet, from the moment she had been created, Yami knew Naruko wouldn't be any help. He could definitely see her being basically the female version of the Creator, even if she did posses those weird powers with her voice. Which meant his work had doubled since now he had to explain things to one more person! He let out another sigh.

_"Bah, whatever!"_ he thought, letting go of his frustration at least for the moment**(4)**. It was just one more person, how bad could it be? It's not like the world would end or something.

**!~¡**

**_Somewhere, in a distant, alternate universe_**

"I told you not to use that jutsu!" alternate-Yami yelled, while he was running away from the huge cracks that were forming in the ground and were currently chasing them. "Those were my exact words! 'Naruko, do NOT use that jutsu!'"

"I'm sorry!" alternate-Naruko shouted, running right behind him. "I got distracted for a bit while you were talking!"

"A bit?! You weren't listening at all, were you, you pea-brained imbecile?!" alternate-Yami yelled again.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" alternate-Naruto decided to add his input on the matter.

**!~¡**

**_Back in our proper and undamaged(yet) universe_**

An ominous feeling suddenly swept over Yami. He wondered what it could be for a moment.

_"Eh, nothing important probably, just these two idiots influencing my intelligence," _he thought. There were more important things at hand, he didn't have time to waste on some silly feelings.

"Anyway," Yami said, bringing everyone's attention back on track. "I've made my point." In more than one way too.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair, much like how Yami had earlier and looked at Naruko. "What about you? What do you think?" he asked her.

"Me?" Naruko stopped fiddling with her hair and looked surprised at her Creator.

"Yeah, we're all in this together. I want to know your opinion too," said Naruto.

Naruko looked at the ground and smiled. She brought her right hand to her face to hide it and nervously traced one of her whisker marks with her thumb. She wasn't used to someone asking for her opinion, which was understandable since Naruto had rarely been asked for his. And in some twisted bizarre way she was him, but different because.. She stopped her trail of thought before it became too confusing.

She moved her hand down, grabbing the end of her right pigtail again and looked over to Yami. Her gaze shifted to Naruto and met his eyes for a brief moment before she quickly looked away. She bit her lip and rested her palms on her skirt. It was just such a shame that the first time she had been genuinely asked for her opinion, she would probably disappoint the Creator. However, she had to say it. Letting out a small huff and gathering her courage, she looked at Naruto straight in the eyes.

"I think we should use this," she said.

Her response came in the form of a very angry scowl. "You too!" Naruto shouted as he stood up from his place. "We swore to never do that, no matter how bad it got!"

She winced at his shout but stood up as well and met his glare head on. Uzumaki Naruko never backed away from a challenge!

"No, you were the one who swore that! And that was when you were younger! We're not the same as you, we're different parts of you! Things are different now too! He," she waved her slender arm at Yami, "is right. We should use every advantage we have, because we don't have much going for us at the moment! We graduated from the Academy, which means no more orphan stipend! And until we start doing missions, we're living off of whatever savings we have!"

Naruko took a breath which calmed her slightly, before she spoke in a quieter voice. "As weird as it sounds, we're like a family now." She tore her gaze from Naruto's shocked expression and continued, "you two are the only thing I have in the world. If doing something like spending fake money means I can keep being with you like this, I'll do it as many times as I have to."

She kept silent for a bit but no one took the pause to say anything. She looked up slightly to see Naruto's still shocked expression hadn't changed and played with the hem of her apron nervously. "Look," she began again, "it doesn't mean we have to like it. Maybe we won't even need to do it for long, since the income from missions might be enough. But I think we should do it at least for the time being." Naruko bit her lip and looked out the window, trying to hide the tears that had pooled in her eyes from the earlier admission. She hated showing her tears to anyone, even herself. Especially herself. "Either way," she continued, "you are our Creator. I trust you and I'll follow whatever you decide."

Yami was looking at the two with a surprised expression. It wasn't because Naruko had said he was right. That was natural, of course he was right. It wasn't because of her claim of their status as a family either. He didn't really concern himself with things like, he was way to practical. That's why there were no confusing feelings in his chest at the moment. Nope, nothing of the sorts. He was actually surprised because of a certain realization. This is probably what it felt like to have a moral dilemma. There were back and forth arguments and good and bad points for both sides of the fence. The only difference was that normal people led those debates inside their heads. Their argument was led between them, with each member of the newly dubbed Uzumaki household bringing a different side of Naruto.

Naruto was the naive, moral and stupid one. Yami was the cynical realist who saw the world as it was and was always right and extremely handsome**(5)**. Naruko.. She was the compromise. He had to give it to her, for an airheaded bimbo she knew how to drive her point home. And her performance was excellent too, he was sure if not the argument, her tears would definitely convince Naruto. There was no way those were real, he refused to believe it. Or that they would have any effect on him as well**(6)**.

It definitely had an effect on Naruto however. It was one word that actually did it for him - family. It was a well known fact that Naruto's dream was to one day become Hokage and even surpass all the previous Hokage. He shouted it at everyone that gave him even a second of their attention. He never shouted his other dream. Until recently, he never even openly admitted it to himself, because he would also be admitting how lonely he actually felt. What he wanted more than the title and the acknowledgment that came with it was a family. Someone to tell him 'welcome home' when he got back home, someone to fill the void and silence in his apartment, someone to cure him from his loneliness.

Now, he actually had someone like that, not one but two someone's. They may be clones or pieces of his personality or whatever. But they were the closest thing to a family he would ever get. And at the first problem he was hesitating. Was his resolve this weak? Naruko's wasn't, hell her resolve was incredible. Yami's as well, although Naruto doubted the red-eyed jerk had the same sentiments on his mind, not openly at least. The real question wasn't whether it was right or wrong to do it. It was how far he was willing to go.

He reached with his hand and grabbed one of Naruko's, catching her attention. "You're right," he said. He looked at Yami briefly and then back at Naruko. "You're both right." And without another word he stepped closer and enveloped her into a hug. One Naruko immediately returned with a wide smile. Yami looked at them impassively, before turning towards the window with a small snort. They still had a lot of things to discuss and do today, but.. He would let them have that moment. It's not like five or ten minutes were going to make a difference.

Naruto was the first to speak after they had broken the embrace and were back in their seats. "So I guess we should make a list and start buying stuff. If the two of you are going to be staying here, you'll need food to regenerate chakra."

"Ah, and that brings me to my second point," Yami said. "Naruto, you must not keep a clone active for longer than a day."

That brought him two surprised and at the same time fearful expressions.

"What?! Why?!" Naruto shouted. "Doesn't that mean you guys would disappear?"

"I can explain, but I think showing you would be faster," Yami said. He stood up and walked up to Naruko and whispered something in her ear. Her eyes widened but before she could say anything, Yami hit her in the stomach which made her disappear in a poof of smoke.

Naruto was so shocked he could not do anything but gape at what had happened. "What did I tell her before she dispelled?" he vaguely heard Yami ask, but still could not recover from his surprise.

"Hey, Naruto!" Yami raised his voice, finally snapping him from his stupor. "What did I whisper to her?"

"You.. What did you do?" Naruto uttered. "Did you.. Is she gone?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "Relax you dimwit. She's perfectly fine and back inside," he tapped his head. "We'll summon her back in a bit."

"Her clothes are gone," Naruto said dumbly.

"What?" Yami raised a brow at him.

"Her clothes.. The ones we bought.. Are they supposed to disappear as well?" Naruto asked uneasiness dripping from his voice.

Yami's eyes widened and he looked back at the spot that had been occupied by Naruko just a minute ago. It was true, there was absolutely no trace of her left. Was that supposed to happen? Damn it, he wished Naruto had read the Forbidden scroll properly, so many questions would have been answered by that. He looked back at Naruto and swore. His Creator still had the same wide-eyed expression directed at where Naruko had just been sitting. Except there was also a steady stream of tears flowing down his cheeks. Maybe he should have explained things properly first after all.

"Naruto!" he closed the distance to him quickly and grabbed him by his shoulders. "Look at me." When he got no response, he shook him and repeated, "Look at me!" This time he gained his attention. "Do you trust me?" Yami asked him.

"What?" Naruto asked with a voice that betrayed his complete loss.

"Do you trust me?" Yami repeated. "Look, I may be a jerk and a real asshole, but I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm you after all, I have our best interests in mind." He didn't get a response or even a reaction, which made him panic a bit. "I'm sorry about that, I should have explained things properly. Naruko is all right, I promise and we'll see her again in a bit. But I need you to focus and I need you to trust me, okay?"

A long moment passed before Naruto finally gave him a nod. Yami relaxed slightly at that, but still remained worried. _"I'm supposed to be the smart one," _he thought angrily. _"That definitely falls in the category of things Naruto would do."_

"Okay," Yami said and sat down on the couch, "what did I say to Naruko before she dispelled?"

Naruto was silent for a moment before a memory crossed his mind.

_I'm going to hit you._

"You told her you were going to hit her," Naruto said and narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Right, but did you hear me say it? I whispered it in her ear, there's no way you could have known, right? So how do you know?" Yami asked.

This confused Naruto once again. Yami was right, he hadn't heard him when he whispered it to Naruko. So how did he know? The only people that could know are Yami and Naruko. But Naruko was gone, back in his head according to Yami.. Could that mean..?

"That's right," Yami confirmed after he saw realization creeping into Naruto's eyes. "When a clone gets dispelled, we receive all of its memories. There are some problems with that, one of which you are going to experience immediately."

"Huh?" Naruto was once again confused.

"I need to dispel as well, I've been existing in the world for too long. You'll be hit with more than 12 hours worth of memories and dreams all at once. For the next bit, we'll meet in your mind." Yami explained.

"What?.. My mind? How are we going to meet there?" Naruto asked, still confused.

"Cause you're about to pass out," Yami smirked and dispelled.

Naruto didn't have time to even prepare, because he felt like his head was hit with a sledgehammer before darkness engulfed him.

**!~¡**

_Drip._

The sound of that single drop hitting the surface of water echoed in his mind and intensified the pain he felt in his brain. Naruto scrunched his eyes and let out a loud groan before he grabbed the sides of his head. He started counting until the dull throbbing he felt finally started disappearing. He opened his eyes to see a dark ceiling.. That was not the ceiling of his apartment.

"Huh.. What?" he muttered and tried rising up. He somehow managed it and then stood up completely. Which, he realized a second too late, was too ambitious of an undertaking for him. He felt the world spin and was about to fall face-first into the.. water(?) when someone grabbed him.

"Ah, you've finally woken up," Naruto heard the familiar voice of Yami.

"Where.. Where are we?" the original blond asked when the world stopped spinning.

"In your mind. Or I guess, our mind," Yami said.

Naruto took the time to look around. Yellowing-grey walls and ceiling, rusty and mossy pipes of various sizes all around them and they were standing in water..

"A sewer?" he scrunched his face.

"Yep!" Yami answered a bit too cheerfully for his taste. "Kind of brings a new dimension to the phrase 'mind in the gutter', doesn't it?" Yami laughed.

Naruto didn't share his amusement and with good reason. "Ugh, my head is killing me," he said.

"Well, what did you expect? You just got hit with more than 12 hours of mine and Naruko's collective memories and experiences. Well, it was about an hour from Naruko's side, but still," Yami said.

"So.. I get the memories of the clones when they disappear," Naruto said.

"Yep, and their fatigue," Yami nodded.

"How did you know that? It wasn't written in the scroll," Naruto looked at him.

"Actually, it may have been. I told you, you did not read it properly," said Yami.

"Then.. How?"

"Remember last night, when you beat Mizuki? You summoned like a hundred, maybe even more clones," Yami started explaining.

"But.. I didn't get their memories. Or a giant headache," Naruto interrupted him.

"Nope, you did. However you ignored them because of the adrenaline and the whole revelation. But as I've said many times, if you ignore something.." Yami trailed off looking at him expectantly.

"You don't," Naruto finished with realization. "But wait, why didn't I still feel tired?"

"Well, ignoring your memories like that actually reduced the fatigue. The clones existed for less than a minute as well. And finally, you have me," Yami continued his explanation.

Naruto scrunched his face in confusion again, before saying, "You mean you.."

"That's right," Yami interrupted him. "I minimized the backlash because I took it all. I then took proper time to sort through all the memories and dismiss them. So you didn't suffer any negative effects. You're welcome by the way," Yami finished smugly.

"Huh.." was Naruto's only response and he looked around once again.

Yami shook his head, "That's all I get? No 'Thank you, oh great Yami, for saving me from the headache and sorting through those useless memories. I really appreciate it' or anything of the sorts. Tsk tsk," Yami shook his head with amusement.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks," Naruto rolled his eyes before a very important thought came to mind. "Wait! Where's Naruko?! If we're in our mind, she should be here as well, right?"

"Relax, let's take a walk, and I'll explain things," Yami said and started leading him through the corridors.

"So is it going to hurt like that every time I summon and dispel you and Naruko?" Naruto asked.

"It would usually hurt like that if we stayed out for a long period of time. Like from morning to evening for example, which is something I'm guessing we both want?" Yami looked at him.

Naruto simply nodded and laughed nervously, "If that's the cost for having you two, it's nothing."

"Oh?" Yami said with amusement, "and what happens if we add more aspects of your personality? And what you got a taste of was just the backlash from me. True, Naruko was dispelled as well, but she didn't have as big of an impact because she was only out for like an hour and a half. So even with just me and her out your pain will double."

"It's nothing, I can take it." Naruto said with determination dripping from his voice.

"Well, I'm glad you have a masochistic steak in you," Yami chuckled darkly before he caught Naruto's expression. "That means taking pleasure from being hurt. Anyway, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we'll have to find other ways to hurt you."

"Huh?" Naruto scrunched his eyes and tilted his head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I've prepared a solution for your predicament," Yami smirked. "No need to look amazed, such things are expected from the better half."

"Hey!" Naruto was about to protest further but they rounded a corner and entered a much wider corridor. That wasn't its only feature though. It had a door on each side and there was a large barred gate at the end.

"Doors?" Naruto asked.

"Yep," Yami said excitedly and began his explanation, "It's pretty simple actually. That," he pointed to the door on the left, "is my door." The door itself was coloured in black. It had a huge sign at the top, saying 'Yami's room', and multiple STOP signs and stickers pinned on it. It even had barbed wire around the frame and a military police tape in a cross shape over it. The tape read [RESTRICTED, ENTER AT OWN RISK]. "All of my memories will automatically go in here after I get dispelled and then we can go through them at our own pace."

"Same thing goes for Naruko," Yami pointed at the other door. It was pink in colour and had two large flower stickers at the upper right and lower left portion of the door. On top of it a sign read 'Naruko's world'.

"This also gives us a semblance of privacy." Yami said.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Naruto asked confused.

"The way the jutsu works is that you get all of your clones' memories. But from last night we know that you can ignore them or at least ignore portions of them. So here is how it's going to work - you will summon us in the morning and we would be going about our day like normal. In the evening when you go to bed, you will dispel me first."

"Why you first?" Naruto asked.

"Because I created this system and I will keep the mental exhaustion to a minimum. Then Naruko and any other personality clones will disperse and we will all meet here. We will then go through the memories together and when we're done, everyone goes to their room and we all go to sleep. And if there are any particular memories we don't want you to see.. Well, we would talk about it then."

"What about regular clones? And what if one of you gets dispelled by accident" Naruto asked.

"If that happens, the moment the memories hit us, I will dispel as well immediately and minimize the backlash. Then I'll sort through the memories quickly to find out the reason behind it. As for regular clones, they shouldn't be of consequence, as long as you don't keep them for too long or have them do something that would be mentally strenuous. Normally, backlash from them wouldn't have been so bad, but me and Naruko changed that. Not to mention any additional personality clones we add."

"What would happen then?" Naruto asked.

"Well, we'd just add another door. It's still a work in progress really, even I haven't gotten over all of the kinks. It's not like it's ever been done before and our situation is pretty unique. Which means we'll have to deal with any problems that come up along the way," Yami explained.

"Wait, what do you mean unique?" Naruto tilted his head to the side.

Yami pointed at the end of the corridor, where the barred gate was. "See that gate over there?" After he got a nod, he continued, "Do not go there or open it. Not yet at least. That gate leads to the room where Kyūbi's consciousness resides. I doubt you want to meet the fuzzball at the moment.." Yami trailed off and received a vigorous shaking of the head.

"So how come I don't get a door?" Naruto asked.

Yami looked at him funnily, before answering, "Because this whole place," he motioned with his arms, "belongs to you. You don't need a door to your own mind. We on the other hand are parts of you, so it makes it easier."

"But what if I wanted to have some private thoughts of my own as well? Besides, it'd be cool to have my own door. It'd be like we were living in a house and everyone had their own room which we could decorate whatever way we wanted. I've always wanted something like that," Naruto said, his voice growing quite at the end.

"But.. It's.. But.." Yami looked at it him in exasperation and let out a sigh, "Fine, I'll see what I can do. I'm not making promises though." He should have seen this coming really. He had designed the system like this _because_ it had been one of Naruto's oldest desires after all.

Naruto gave him a happy grin before asking, "So where's Naruko? Shouldn't she be here as well?"

"Oh yeah, she should be in her room," Yami said and the two went over to the pink door.

"Hey Naruko!" Yami yelled and opened the door. "You should com.." whatever he was about to say was rudely interrupted by a fist to the jaw that sent him flying to the floor. Yami let out a groan and tried getting up, but instead got a kick for his troubles, courtesy of one very angry Naruko.

"Don't. You. Ever. Do. That. Again. Asshole." Each period was punctuated with a particularly vicious kick.

"Naruko!" the irate female felt a pair of arms grab her from behind. For a moment she thought Naruto was trying to stop her or something suicidal like that. But then she realized he was just giving her a tight embrace.

"I was so worried.. I thought you.. you were gone forever," Naruto muttered.

She couldn't help it. She turned around and immediately locked her slender arms around him. To hear someone was worried for her with such intensity, that her presence mattered so much to anyone, was a wish come true. It was a wish all of them shared even the red-eyed jerk that was groaning on the floor. And a wish all of them had fulfilled.

"I know," she replied moving her fingers through Naruto's messy locks. "When I dispersed.. Everything was dark.. I thought.. I thought I stopped existing. But then I found myself in that room and I could hear both your voices.. So I did the sensible thing and plotted payback," she said with a scary grin on her face.

Naruto laughed and saw Yami had finally managed to stand up. "Serves you right, jerk," he stuck out his tongue at his red-eyed counterpart, who was rubbing his bruised jaw.

"Of course you realize," he paused to let out a groan, "this means war, right?"

Naruko released her Creator and turned around towards Yami. She took a step forward which in turn took every fiber of Yami's will not to respond with a step backwards. Her grin only grew even scarier as she put her hands on the sides of her thin waist and replied.

"Oh? Bring it."

Naruto felt he should probably intervene. He had nothing against a good old-fashioned prank war, but they still had stuff to do in the real world. Besides, he didn't have popcorn.

"Uh guys?" he moved between them which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. Luckily for him they were too busy engaging in a staring war. "We've got things to do, remember? You can settle this later."

A tense moment passed before Naruko's grin completely lost its maliciousness and she directed a cheerful smile at Naruto. "Okay!" the cheerfulness was evident in her voice as well.

Yami just let out a snort and looked away. "Fine, you should wake up and summon us in the real world."

"Uhm.." Naruto hesitated, "How do I do that?"

"What, waking up or summoning us?" Yami asked.

"Uh.. He-he.. Both actually," Naruto rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh," Yami moved to him and put a hand over his shoulder as he started walking. It gave Naruto an uneasy feeling, but he let himself be led away anyway. "I'll show you the exit. As for your second question, just think of us when you use the Kage Bunshin no jutsu."

"That's it?" Naruto asked disbelievingly.

"Yep, I think it should be that easy now that we have names, identities and practically our own rooms in your mind. Naruko might be a bit different.. Frankly, I have no idea what will happen, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Yami admitted. "Summon me first."

"Frankly?" Naruto asked. And what the hell was this talk about crossing bridges? Wasn't he supposed to be summoning them?

"It means honestly," Yami said and stopped in front of a big metal door. Naruto looked at it and realized he hadn't noticed it before. It was on the wall where the gate to Kyūbi's room was at. It was grey in colour and it looked pretty sturdy. He noticed above it there was a green sign that read [EXIT] with a drawing of a stick figure following an arrow that went through an open door. "Just step through here," Yami told him and released his shoulder before taking a step back.

Naruto shrugged and went up to the door before he opened it. There was nothing there. Literally, it was just darkness and he could see from the light coming from the corridor the door led to an abyss. "What the.." he never got a chance to finish since Yami kicked his butt, sending him flying through with a loud scream.

Yami chuckled darkly, openly showing his amusement before closing the door. "Ground rules," he said as his features went back to his usual passive frown. "Number one and most importantly, whatever we do to each other must never trouble our beloved knucklehead in any way." He turned around to meet Naruko's serious look. The earlier cheerfulness had disappeared from her face and her lips were pressed together. Her hands were locked at her chest and she gave no response to what Yami had said. So he continued, "Number two, we can't do anything in the real world that would cause one of us to dispel. Naruto would have to reform us again and that'd be a waste of chakra and time, which goes back to the first rule." He didn't even bother to wait for a response and moved on, "and number three - this place is fair game. Everything goes here as long as it doesn't break rule number one."

After the first rule had been set, Naruko had brought a hand to one of her pigtails while the other had gone to the side of her waist. She had a thoughtful look on her face while she looked at her fingers playing with her hair, as if contemplating something important. Finally, she brought her hand to her face and brushed her golden locks under her nose. They weren't as soft as she expected.. Or wanted for that matter. Maybe she should get that conditioner thingy Naruto had heard the girls in the Academy talk about. Apparently it made the hair really soft and pleasant to the touch or something.

"I agree," she said absentmindedly, after the red-eyed jerkface had finished, not really paying attention to him anymore. Oh, maybe she could find an orange scented shampoo too!

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**(1) **Which in Naruto terms meant throwing out all empty or used ramen cups coupled with a touch of light dusting of all the visible areas;  
><strong>(2)<strong> **Gama **- Literally means Toad;  
><strong>(3) -chan<strong> - suffix of endearment;  
><strong>(4) <strong>Yami would look for small defenseless critters to vent his frustrations on properly later in the day;  
><strong>(5)<strong> Naruto's ability to delude himself existed in all aspects of his personality.  
><strong>(6) <strong>Yami had learnt the concept of rationalization basically because that was the reason of his existence. However, it didn't mean it made him immune from doing it to himself.

**!~¡**

**Author's musing: Huh.. This chapter went longer than expected. I had planned an introduction for another aspect of Naruto, but I actually had to cut it in half, because it would have probably been way too much. In any case, thank you everyone for reading! I hope you're having as much fun reading as I have writing this. Thank you again for the reviews, faves and follows, they always make me really happy. All I can say is, keep them coming! =D**

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	3. Chapter 3: Gems

**Author's ramblings: Behold! Chapter the Third! But first!**

**SUPER IMPORTANT: Please read the author's musings at the end after you've finished with the chapter. There's an important announcement regarding an upcoming poll.**

**I've slept a total of 12 hours for the past three days and I'm posting this at 2 am, right after I've finished it. I apologize for any mistakes, I proof-read it twice, but I'm basically a zombie at the moment. I'll check it again after I wake up and I might change some things to make it flow better. Sorry in advance.  
>Edit: I think I've corrected everything that needed correcting.. With the exception of one thing, I found the mistake, but then forgot about it and now I can't remember where it was. -_-'<strong>

**Special thanks to everyone reading, fav-ing and following the story. So many of them! Chapter two and there's 66 followers, 40 favourites and 2 communities! You guys are awesome, thank you for the support! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. Thank you **george17**,** GreenEggsN'Ham**,** lolol1991**,** Ninggay**, **GravityTonttu**, **idea-getthe**, and **Drazili **for your reviews, always a great source of motivation! Here are some responses:**

**lolol1991: **Naruto doesn't know the word rhetorical. He knows what he's looking for, but did not pay enough attention in class to actually learn the proper term. So he did his best.

**GravityTonttu: **Oh man, those are some really good questions. And now I feel bad because I can't answer them since it would spoil the story. **:(** I don't even know the answers completely to some of them. I'll say this though, not even the Uzumaki's know the answers. It hasn't even been a day since Naruto learnt the Kage Bunshin no jutsu and how to split his personality, so they'll be doing a lot of experimenting. On the bright side, we'll be along for that ride and hopefully get some laughs out of it. **=D**

**idea-getthe: **Haha, it does seem like that, doesn't it? And I imagine having older siblings to watch his back has always been a wish of his too.

**I have to say, I am really happy with the amount of people reading and liking the story. I also appreciate the reviews. As an author I want to know what my audience thinks of my work. Do you enjoy it, do you find it funny/sad, which parts did you like, are there parts you didn't like, have I made any mistakes, and so on. Having the spark to write is its own reward that makes me happy. But knowing that you guys are having fun with my work just multiplies it.**

**Here I am getting side-tracked again. You're probably thinking 'Shut up and give me the story!' Oopsie.. Here's chapter 3!**

**Enjoy !~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 3: Gems**

**!~¡**

Naruto's eyes snapped open as he jumped off the coach with a yell. He looked around, startled from the experience of falling into nothingness and noted with a relief that he was back in his apartment. That Yami jerk.. He played him good, which was annoying since Naruto was supposed to be the master prankster around here. Even more annoying was the fact it had probably looked really funny too and Naruto knew if the roles were reversed, he'd have done the same thing. The worst part however was he couldn't get payback, since Yami would simply dispel. He would have to think about something later.

For now he put his fingers in the familiar cross sign and concentrated, having a clear image of Yami in his mind.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"** A puff of smoke later and his darker side was standing in front of him.

"That was easy," Naruto said.

"Indeed," Yami said while looking himself over. Everything seemed to be in order so he looked back at Naruto, "now try the same with Naruko. Although I'm not sure it'll be this easy with her."

Naruto nodded seriously and repeated the hand sign. He concentrated again and the image of Naruko appeared in his mind, along with the feelings he had the first time he summoned her. Or him technically. He guessed something similar would happen now.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"** he said again and another puff of smoke appeared in the room. However, neither him, nor Yami were prepared for what they saw after it cleared. It was Naruko. As in already female and fully clothed in her maid dress Naruko. She looked herself over, checking every part of her attire and body, before she nodded seemingly satisfied with the results.

Naruto however was extremely confused. "I did not expect this," he said.

"What?" Naruko asked, now sharing his confusion, albeit for a different reason.

"Well.. You. Like this," Naruto waved his hand at her.

"What's wrong with me?" Naruko asked with a hint of worry now creeping in her voice. She brushed her bangs quickly and ran a thumb over one of her whisker marks, before running to the mirror to have a better look. Maybe she couldn't see what was wrong with her? She bit her lip as she inspected her face and then turned around and twisted her neck in an effort to see her backside.

"That's the thing, you look exactly as you should," Naruto said. "The first time I summoned you, you had to use the transformation technique and you had no clothes. But now you look exactly the same as before you were dispelled."

Naruko's eyes widened in realization before she looked at her hands. They quickly shot to her chest and gave a light squeeze. Then she quickly moved her right hand between her legs and looked up at Naruto, "Well, I'm definitely a girl. And wait, you bought these clothes for me. How come they dispelled with me? And how come I'm wearing them now?" They exchanged a confused look before turning to Yami for answers. He usually had them.

Their hopes were crushed however when they saw he was sporting an equally confused and wide-eyed expression. His eyes were staring at Naruko and constantly darting over her body and attire from head-to-toe.

"Yami?" Naruto's uneasy voice was heard.

"Hmm..?" Yami answered, not moving his gaze away from Naruko's form, who had worriedly started playing with her left pigtail.

"Any ideas?" Naruto asked.

There was a pause, before Yami answered quietly, "No.."

"But you always have an idea," Naruto muttered.

"Well I don't this time!" Yami snapped at him suddenly, giving him his full attention. "What do you expect from me? To know everything?! I'm still a copy of you, somewhat at least. I'm not a genius, cause God knows you aren't!" Naruto flinched and looked down, which made Yami inwardly curse. He had to keep better control over his emotions. Truth or not, making Naruto feel any more miserable about himself was the complete opposite of what he wanted. He could practically sense Naruko giving him a Look at the moment. The special one females reserved for when guys did something particularly stupid when they should have known better.

In his defense, he was Naruto's pent up and hidden negative emotions. It was already hard enough keeping from going outside and layering Konoha with explosive tags. It was practically a miracle, all because he kept a lid on himself. Even though he really wanted to, it would be wrong to release his anger like that. The right thing was to keep it contained, until he identified a proper target and _then _unleash it like a pack of starving raccoons that have spotted a particularly plump garbage bag.. Like the one that had attacked them an year and a half ago.

But the proper target definitely wasn't Naruto. What was he to do now? Apologies weren't really his thing, the earlier one for the incident known as 'The dispelling Naruko fiasco' being an obvious exception to the rule. He chanced a glance at said blonde airhead and almost immediately turned his eyes away. If her Look got any more pointed, it would start poking holes through him and even the wall behind him.

How was she even able to do that?! Was it some sort of a woman special ability? Did she gain those powers the moment she.. well, turned into a _she_? Oh Gods, now her hands were locked at her chest and she was tapping her right foot! He felt the Look starting to dangerously prick at his forehead and for a fraction of a second Yami considered using the **Oiroke no jutsu** to gain those powers as well, hoping he would gain immunity to them too. But it was only a fraction of a moment of weakness. He had his male pride after all.. Male pride that was going to dip a bit from what he was about to do. Damn it!

"Naruto," he let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his head. Oh great, now he was doing this too. "I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm just frustrated cause I don't know why this happened and it's another thing we'll have to figure out because we haven't read the Forbidden scroll properly." Hmm.. That came out wrong. Well, it was technically the Creator's fault for that, but Yami had not intended to point it out. Naruto's shoulders slumped even more and Yami practically sensed Naruko narrowing her eyes further and taking a step towards him.

Before he had the chance to flee the scene of his imminent homicide, his Creator spoke, "It's all right, Yami. I know I'm not pretty smart," Naruto gave a lopsided smile. "I guess we'll just have to figure something out. Or I guess wait for you to figure something out."

Yami took a deep breath, filling his lungs with as much air as he could and released it. He felt the tension in him relaxing slightly, although it wasn't much of an improvement. This wasn't about him however. He didn't want his Creator to say things like that. Or rather he didn't want him to sound so resigned when he did. He took a few steps forward until he stood up in front of Naruto and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Naruto, you're not an idiot. You may have a short attention span, or not know many words, or hell even important concepts like common sense.. But we both know it's more because of your choice, rather than you being stupid." At his words Naruto turned his head away and tried looking everywhere, but at Yami, who continued, "You may not want to admit it to yourself, but you can't hide it from me. When you joined the Academy, you wanted to learn new things. But then when you answered a question wrong, a lot of your classmates laughed. Gave you attention. So learning suddenly fell on your list of priorities in favor of being the class clown and making trouble to gain even more attention."

Naruto swallowed heavily at the memory and muttered, "You probably think I'm stupid for doing that."

Yami rolled his eyes and quickly flicked a finger over Naruto's nose. "I just told you you're not stupid, you dimwit." Yami blinked at what he just said, but moved on as if nothing had happened. "However, you do have problems with listening to others and keeping focus. Luckily for you, that won't be an issue anymore. I've been paying attention to the things you haven't for a long time and that's not going to stop anytime soon. And now you don't need to look for other people's attention, because you have mine."

Before Naruto could answer, he felt arms wrap around his waist and a body pressing to his back. "You have ours," he heard Naruko's voice coming from his shoulder where she rested her head. Naruto could barely hold it anymore and felt wetness streaming from his eyes. Damn it, in the past two days he had cried more than he had in the past five years! He didn't want to show them that and immediately lifted his hands to his face to wipe the tears. They never reached however, Naruko had grabbed his wrists and was pulling them back down.

"It's okay to cry when you're happy," she said leaning her head to his. "Are you?"

Naruto had imagined on occasions what it'd be like to hear someone tell him they were there for him. They were fantasies entertained during the darker hours of the night when he had a particularly nasty nightmare or just couldn't sleep. He had deemed it all right to think such thoughts then, because he could pretend they were just dreams in the morning. Those fantasies could not compare to the real thing, to what he was experiencing right now. He wasn't good with words, but even if he possessed Yami's vocabulary, he doubted he'd be able to describe how happy he was. So he just settled for choking out a simple "yes," and leaning on Naruko, who moved her arms around him again.

Yami smiled as well, before he caught himself and turned his face away with a snort. Fortunately for him, they hadn't caught his smile this time. His thoughts went back to the question at hand. He wasn't even sure what the right question was. How had the Naruko's clothes dispelled with her? They were real clothes, bought with money, not chakra constructs. And how did she appear with them? No, those weren't the right questions. They were the obvious ones, but he was searching for something else.

He walked to the window and looked out at the village. He thought for a while in relative silence, since Naruko had also started crying while smiling like the airhead she was. He understood their feelings very well, since he also held them, somewhere deep inside. However, he wasn't one to express himself so openly. He hoped he had an understanding with them - they dealt with the emotional stuff for him, while he took care of the actual thinking.

So what was the right question then - how was it even possible? No, in this world, where giant chakra beasts existed and were sealed in little children, that wasn't the right question. Besides the answer was easy, obvious and not a real answer - with chakra. He needed to start at the very beginning.

What is the Kage Bunshin no jutsu? What is its purpose? Why create a solid clone purely out of chakra, when you could make clones using some sort of element, like earth and water? They had studied about the different variations and uses in the Academy. The Bunshin no jutsu**(1)** was taught so they could learn the concept of projecting their image, in case one day they would learn some sort of clone technique.

Wait, the Nidaime Hokage, Senju Tobirama was the creator. But why did he feel the need to create such a technique? From the Academy, they had learned about him and his abilities**(2)**. He was an expert user of water style jutsu, in fact he was so proficient that he didn't need an existing body of water to form any techniques, he extracted water from the atmosphere itself. So he shouldn't have had a need for another clone technique when he could just make them out of water like it was nothing.

In that case, the question was, what was the difference between clone techniques that created a body using chakra and some sort of element and the Kage Bunshin no jutsu, which created solid clones purely out of chakra? Yami had the feeling this wasn't the right question either and finding the answer would probably lead to another question. But it was a start.

He turned back around and said, "Are you two done? Cause we still have stuff to do."

Naruko frowned at him and reluctantly released Naruto from her embrace. She wiped her cheeks quickly, before she crossed her arms at her chest. "You're an insensitive dick, you know that, right?"

"Thanks, I try my best. My goal is to one day turn it into an art form," Yami said with a wicked grin. Naruko huffed and turned her head to the side, her delicate lips forming a pout.

Naruto took the time of their little banter exchange to wipe his cheeks and eyes of any traces of left-over tears and quickly composed himself. _"Happiness or not, that's enough crying for now,"_ he mentally promised himself and looked at Yami.

"All right, I've thought about the whole thing with Naruko," Yami said, making the others lean slightly in expectation. He paused for the sake of suspense, intentionally drawing them further by saying, "it's simple actually," he made another pause, taking the time to look meaningfully at their faces, implying whatever would be said next was of great importance. He drew a huge breath, just to wind the tension in their backs further, and fired the next sentence with as much speed as he could, "I've got nothing."

A pair of huge thuds were heard as both Naruto and Naruko had a close encounter with the floor. There was another, much softer thud following theirs, this time courtesy of Yami, who was cackling like mad and rolling on the floor.

"You..!" Naruto uttered after he stood up, trying his best not to inflict a flying elbow on his counterpart. One punch. Just one in that mug of his, hopefully with enough force to at least dislodge a tooth. That's all he wanted.

"You should have seen your faces. It's the simple things that make life truly enjoyable," he chuckled darkly before he settled in an evil smirk. "Oh wait, you will see them later when you dispel me. You'd be able to appreciate the humor then, I'm sure."

Naruto's fists started to itch. He was about to seriously jump Yami, but something made him pause. It was Naruko. And it wasn't her trying to stop him directly. She hadn't even said anything to him. It was her actions. She slowly stood up from the ground and dusted herself, every movement of her body taken with precise measure and attentiveness. She then gently sat on the couch and placed her palms on her lap, before directing the most impassive, the most innocent, the most serene look both boys had ever seen on a female at Yami. Naruto swallowed audibly at the scene and he wasn't even the current object of her attention.

Yami thought it'd be best to continue on the topic and hopefully distract Naruko from whatever thoughts he was a focus of. The poor, delusional soul. "In all seriousness, I have an idea of what we need to do. But first, let me start by saying this - I may seem smarter than you two or more knowledgeable about some things, but I definitely don't know everything or have all the answers. I've learnt most of the lessons Naruto has ignored from the Academy, because it's what I do. But that's it. I suspect what happened with Naruko has a lot to do with advanced chakra manipulation and theory." Seeing their lost expressions, he rolled his eyes, "I'll explain later, it's not important at the moment. Just know that at this point, we have to start doing research on these kinds of stuff. And the most important thing we need to do is understand the Shadow Clone jutsu."

"Understand it?" Naruto asked, still somehow managing to keep up. As for Naruko, Yami could already see the far-away look in her eyes. At least they weren't looking at him anymore. Meh, he supposed it was fine, as long as Naruto paid attention. If he had the knowledge, everyone of them would have it technically.

"Yes, for starters the difference between the Kage Bunshin no jutsu and other clone techniques. The best way would probably be having another peek at the Forbidden scroll," Yami said.

"We could go ask the Old Man to let us," Naruto suggested.

"No, I think it's a bad idea. I've told you before, I don't trust him. Whatever you may think he's done for us in the past doesn't matter from the moment we've learned he's been lying to us. In the end, he's the Hokage, his priority is the village," Yami said with a sense of finality. Naruto wanted to protest. He wanted to believe in the Old Man. But Yami was right. He had asked the Hokage many times if he knew the reason people hated him. What else had the Old Man lied about? His parents? Naruto immediately cut the train of thought there. Now wasn't the time. He hoped the time would never come, even if deep down he knew it would.

"So what do we do? We can't keep this a secret forever, especially if I'll be taking care of groceries and our apartment. And I'm not going to let Naruto do missions by himself," Naruko spoke for the first time since the discussion began in a suspiciously calm and business-like voice. She didn't even bother acknowledging Yami with a look, instead directing one at Naruto while biting her lower lip in worry.

"Of course we can't keep it a secret forever. Tomorrow, we, or rather Naruto has to get his picture taken for his ninja registration papers. The day after tomorrow is the graduation ceremony. This gives us two days. I don't know what happens after the ceremony and after we become official genin**(3)**, however we should assume that our little family will become known. If there are any problems with the Hokage then, I'll deal with them. But until that time comes we have to experiment and discover as much as possible by ourselves. Also, Naruto you need to train," Yami looked at the Creator.

"Huh?" Naruto asked lifting an eyebrow at his counterpart.

"It's simple, by improving yourself, you'll also improve us and any other clones you make. So by completing training exercises you're also making us stronger," Yami explained.

"What about us, what if we train as well?" Naruko asked, wanting to be useful in any way she could.

"Naa, I don't think it will help much. The only training that would matter is Naruto's, since he's our Creator," Yami dismissed the idea. Clones training, what a stupid concept. It was definitely worthy of being one of Naruko's ideas. However, there was a really tiny voice in the back of his mind that was screaming he was missing something. There was something here.. "Actually, I need to think about that. We'll consider it later, first we need to start with the basics," he looked at Naruto. "That means looking at ourselves and thinking about our strengths and weakness."

"You can do that somewhere else," Naruko spoke and stood up. She brushed a hand through her bangs and scrunched her eyes in the thoughtful expression that was basically a family trait for the Uzumaki's now. "I need to make a list, buy groceries and cleaning supplies, and some essentials for myself. Then I'll need to come back, arrange things and get some cleaning done before I have to start cooking dinner. Oh, if I'm going to cook proper meals from now on, that means buying some cookbooks and learning recipes too.."

"You need help with the groceries?" Naruto offered, but his female clone just waved him off.

"No, no, you go train or whatever. If I need help, I can make clones."

"That's not a good idea at the moment," Yami said. He got a look from Naruto, but surprisingly not Naruko. She didn't give any indication that she heard him and didn't say anything either.

"Why's that?" Naruto asked.

"We don't know what happens if we try to make clones. Will we be able to make copies of ourselves or will they be copies of you? Or will we get an entirely different result? This requires some careful experimentation which we'll head out to do. But for now, Naruto, make three clones, just regular ones."

Naruto just shrugged and did as he was told. Three puffs of smoke later and there were three copies of himself in his living room.

"Okay, you three will assist Naruko. You are to do as she says and you're also going to pay for everything she tells you to. For that reason you'll use the Henge no jutsu**(4)** to turn into someone else. We don't want people to somehow link three exact copies of Naruto paying for products and then money disappearing. They'll make the connection simply because they hate us," Yami gave them instructions.

The three clones nodded, before making a hand-seal.

**"Henge no jutsu!" **three voices said and the clones were enveloped in a cloud of smoke each. After they dissipated, the clones had changed into three relatively generic faces from the population. There were two boys and.. one girl. One of the boys had long straight black hair tied in a low pony-tail with dark eyes, while the other had a messy chocolaty-brown hair with green eyes. The girl had strawberry-blond wavy hair that reached just after her shoulder-blades and chocolate eyes. The whisker marks were missing from their cheeks and their clothes had changed to various shades of colours, without an ounce of orange, blue or black.

Yami looked at them critically, but found no faults. "Those are pretty good generic transformations. No one will think of us or the clones when money disappears." At his words, the clones took out their wallets and offered them to Naruko. Yami was surprised to note the wallets had changed as well. The clones had shown surprising amount of foresight. Aloud he said, "No, keep the wallets. You'll be paying for whatever things each of you buys."

"Oh," came from Naruko as she put a hand in her apron pocket and took out the familiar Gama-chan. "It seems I got one this time as well."

Yami didn't bother to even think about it. They would get answers in due time.

"So what am I supposed to call them?" Naruko looked at them thoughtfully, tapping a finger over her delicate lips.

"Whatever you want. They're just generic clones, they don't have any special personalities and don't need names," Yami said.

"Yeah, but I need to be able to address them if something happens," Naruko said, giving Yami a surprisingly even and malicious-free look. That put him even more on edge. He couldn't help but think she was plotting something in that pretty little head of hers. Even if she was a bimbo, she was still a product of Naruto, which meant she possessed enough intelligence and proficiency with pulling pranks to cause some sort of mischief.

"How about Generic Errand Minions?" Naruto offered, completely unaware of what was happening between the two of them.

Both Yami and Naruko thought about it until the girl-clone said, "GEMs? I like it. So Gem 1, 2 and 3?" she counted, assigning a number to each one of the clones. Yami just shrugged, "Good enough, just don't give them proper names," while Naruto had a huge grin plastered on his face. It was nice to have someone like his ideas for a change. "Oh, there's something very important - do not let them dispel, not at least until we're all back home," Yami said.

"What? But they'll get in my way when I try to clean," Naruko said annoyed.

"Or you could use them for something. If there isn't anything, you can just lock them on the balcony until we come back," Yami suggested, before explaining his reasoning, "They'll be out and about for the rest of the day while they're helping you, so I want them to dispel in a controlled environment, meaning all of us present at home. I don't want Naruto getting any unnecessary feedback."

"Hey, I can handle it!" Naruto protested. He didn't need any babying.

"Maybe, but I don't want to risk you passing out in the middle of the street. Not to mention I don't know what would happen to me and Naruko if you do pass out. Would we dispel as well? And if we do, what if there's something important going on, like Naruko cooking? If we're not careful, we might get into serious trouble," Yami explained.

Naruto let out a huff and crossed his arms at his chest. "You worry too much," he said. "Fine, we'll do it your way," he closed his eyes in annoyance and turned away. Then he felt a light touch on his shoulder and opened them to see Naruko's hand there.

"We worry because you tend to overdo things a bit too often," she told him with a wink. "Well, I guess technically we all do. But you wouldn't want to do that tonight. I'm planning on making many different things for dinner."

_"Having someone being concerned for me for a change isn't so bad,"_ Naruto thought with a smile, which only grew wider, _"especially if they'll prepare homemade dinner too!"_ Now he couldn't wait for tonight. It would be the first time he'd have a home-cooked dinner in his life**(5)**! He'd eat it even if it was slightly crunchy with unidentified bits in it.

"All right, I promise to be careful!" Naruto said excitedly and gave her a huge grin.

"Good," Naruko had a smile of her own. "Now scram," she playfully pushed him away and giggled.

"Wait Naruto, go get your ninja gear, we'll need it," Yami said. Naruto just nodded and went to his room with Yami following him. The Original wrapped a white bandage around his right tight and then put his kunai holster there. He also took his belt and strapped his ninja pouch, so it was positioned at his right hip.

"Done," he said.

"Where's your forehead protector?" Yami asked him.

"Ah, I want to save it for the graduation ceremony," Naruto rubbed his head sheepishly.

"Naruto, we're officially ninja now. Even if I don't like the village, we earned the protector and we should wear it. Besides, I want us to go to a training ground and if we wear it people won't bother us.. hopefully," Yami explained.

"Ugh, fine," Naruto sighed and tied the forehead protector on his forehead. "There, happy now? Wait, what about you, won't you need the gear or the protector?"

"Hmm.." Yami considered it. "You're right, me and Naruko should have those as well. Okay, time to test something again. The two of us will dispel and then you'll summon us once more." With that they returned to the living room and after saying the same to Naruko the two aspects dispelled.

**!~¡**

Yami opened his eyes. He was standing in front of his door, back in Naruto's mindscape. He heard footsteps quickly approaching from behind and turned around. He couldn't react in time to prevent the incredibly fast, painful and loud slap he felt imprinted on his cheek. Before he could even do or say anything to Naruko, he was summoned back.

**!~¡**

After he summoned Yami, Naruto did the same for Naruko. He waited for the puffs of smoke to dissipate and could not help his eyebrows almost relocating to his hair from surprise. Yami was rubbing his left cheek, where he had an open-handed and very red imprint made from what looked like a delicate and feminine looking right hand. He then looked at Naruko, who was rubbing her delicate, feminine right hand with a slightly pained expression.

"What happened to you two?" You didn't need to be a genius to see the answer to that question, but he couldn't help himself from asking. Besides, he wanted the details.

"I.." Yami opened his mouth first to explained and paused for a bit, before continuing, "fell down some stairs."

"He fell down some stairs," Naruko confirmed, almost immediately after him.

"Reaaaally?" Naruto drawled unable to contain his smile, "Funny, I don't remember seeing any stairs."

"I'll show you next time we go in your mind," Yami's voice held promise that there would be more than just showing him the stairs in question. They hinted there might be some pushing involved in the process too. However, all three of them were sharing the same thought at that exact same moment.

_"So.. Whatever bodily injuries someone gets in our mind get transferred in the real world when they're summoned. Interesting." _All three of them shared a chuckle at this realization and immediately after, all three of them realized the other two had shared the same discovery. This particular episode would later on come to be known as the beginning of the "Cold Clone Wars".

"Seems like it worked," Naruto said finally. Yami looked exactly like him, well, minus the eyes. He had the Leaf forehead protector tied around his forehead and the kunai holster and weapon pouch at their proper places. Naruko however tugged her forehead protector with a slight frown. It didn't feel right on her forehead like that for some reason. She went to the mirror to take a proper look at herself.

"Yeah, we should get going," Yami said, still rubbing his cheek and headed for the door.

"All right!" Naruto followed him excitedly and waved at Naruko on his way out, "See ya tonight, Naruko!"

"Bye," Naruko waved absentmindedly as she turned around. No, this wouldn't work at all.. She took off her forehead protector and tied it around her neck. It was better, but not by much. It was still that horrible blue colour.. Maybe she could somehow turn it into a choker, like the ones Naruto had seen in that maid magazine while he was developing the Sexy technique. Yes, that would look pretty cute.

Her eyes went to her waist where the weapon pouch was clinging on one of the apron straps. That didn't look so bad, but she would definitely need to get a different colour. Either black or orange. Maybe a smaller one.. Or a set of two smaller ones, that could be better for organizing things.

Lastly, her gaze settled on the kunai pouch. It was black in colour, so it matched her outfit somewhat, but it was those horrible bandages that were tied over her pretty stocking that ruined it all. She reached for the holster and took out a kunai. These were standard issue, which were perfect for Naruto, however they didn't feel right in her slimmer hands. Maybe she should get the smaller ones, they weren't great when it came to close quarter combat, but were easier to throw and harder to deflect. She could also incorporate them somehow in the skirt portion of her dress. Then an idea hit what she could do with the holster and she let a girlish squeal out. She would talk to Naruto later.

Finally tearing her eyes from the mirror, her mind settled on the task at hand. First, she needed supplies and lots of them. She took an empty scroll that was lying open on the floor and settled on the table. She tore off four large pieces and started writing on them, making four different lists. She finished after a bit and inspected them one last time before she nodded to herself. She was sure there would be more things that would come up, but this was fine for starters.

"All right," she stood up and looked at the three Gems, that were standing near the window. It just now occurred to her that they haven't moved at all from their places since the moment they had been summoned. She could see two of them grinning, probably still thinking about the earlier situation with jerkface. The third one was looking at the sky through the window. "Come on Gems, we should get going," Naruko told them and pocketed the lists from the table before she headed for the door.

**!~¡**

Yami could barely contain himself anymore. He felt his fists trembling, but just kept clenching them. He spared a glance at Naruto and felt his face frowning even more. Naruto was fine, or so it seemed at first glance. He just kept walking with his hands behind his head, smiling to himself, as if having fun with some joke that was playing in his mind and completely ignoring the cold looks or glares from the people around him. And that was Yami's problem. Unlike Naruto, he couldn't ignore. His mind automatically registered the looks, the body language and the not-so-subtle discussions that were going behind their backs.

Earlier, while they were going to Orange World it hadn't been a problem. He was busy explaining some things about language to Naruto and the store itself was located relatively close to their home. They had taken the route through the back alleys and had met as few people as possible. Now however, they were going through some of the busier streets and there was no discussion to take his mind off of things. Not that it would anyway.

He felt his hand reach for his kunai holster when two old geezers had "whispered" some particularly vicious words while shaking their heads and grunting. It shouldn't be a problem, right? No one would actually miss -stards like them. His finger was touching the cold metal of the finger hole when he stopped himself. No, this wasn't right. Killing two geezers would accomplish nothing. His hand moved towards his weapon pouch where he kept his explosive notes. Blowing up the entire street however, that would definitely get results.

"Hey Yami," Naruto's concerned voice snapped his attention away from the screams of terror his mind had already been imagining. "Are you okay? You look really tense."

Yami met Naruto's eyes and tried calming down a bit. He hadn't realized it, but when he had stopped reaching for the kunai, he had stopped walking as well. That was close, he had almost snapped. He carefully let go of the explosive note and took his hand out of the pouch. "Stressed," he grunted out, not trusting his voice to say anything more. There was a huge possibility he'd start screaming and yelling at everyone around them and that fell in the category of "things not to do while you want to keep a low profile from the Old Man".

Naruto kept looking at him, his concern increasing by the second. He had never seen Yami like that. He wondered what was causing it, until he looked around and realization hit him with the weight of an anvil. He knew how to ignore, he had done it for years. Yami however existed _because_ he ignored, which naturally meant Yami couldn't ignore, no matter how much he wanted. He placed a hand on Yami's shoulder and the fact his red-eyed clone didn't push it away all but confirmed his suspicions. Yami wasn't big on close contact.

"It's the glares, isn't it? And the whispers?" Naruto asked and this time didn't even receive a proper word, just another grunt with a barely perceptible nod.

"Come on, let's take to the roofs, we'll get to the training ground faster anyway." Yami barely nodded again and both boys gathered chakra at their feet. It was one of the useful skills taught in the Academy. It allowed ninja to move faster and leap at great distances. It was useful for jumping from tree to tree and roof to roof. Naruto was surprised at the speed they were moving with and had to gather more chakra for bigger leaps to keep up with Yami.

They finally reached their destination, which was one of the smaller training grounds in the outskirts of the village. It had a large grassy field, surrounded by threes on three sides. There were a couple of big wooden posts, some straw dummies and a few targets spread around the grass and hanging from the trees. They landed on the outskirts, but Yami took two more leaps before he reached the middle of the field, where he fell on his knees and started breathing harshly.

"Yami!" Naruto shouted and tried touching his shoulder. His hand was swatted away by Yami.

"Don't touch me!" Yami spat out with venom lacing his voice. Naruto hesitated for a moment before moving close and wrapping him in a hug. Yami growled louder, "I told you not to touch me!" and punched Naruto in the stomach with everything he could manage. Naruto had to muster every ounce of his will not to double over. It was stupid, he should have expected as much, but he wasn't prepared for the blow. He would have tensed his muscles otherwise. He felt tears gather in the corner of his eyes from the intense pain but refused to let go.

"No! You don't have to deal with this alone anymore," Naruto managed out. "You said it yourself, we're in this together, you, me, and Naruko! You're not alone, Yami!"

Yami let out a sound that was a mixture of growling and snorting, but stopped trying to squirm away from Naruto. He didn't have the strength anymore for some reason. He didn't return the embrace, but his Creator could feel him starting to relax.

"I hate them so much," Yami barely muttered, but Naruto caught it nevertheless and replied, "I know."

It took a bit of time, but Yami's breathing slowly started to calm down. He felt better now. He wasn't sure if it was because of Naruto or.. No, this wasn't right. Of course it was because of Naruto. And the airheaded bimbo to an extent. It wasn't right of him to ignore that. After all, he was the aspect of Naruto's personality that _wasn't_ supposed to ignore things. He wasn't going to start doing it now.

"Naruto," he whispered out finally, "I.. Thank you."

"Of course! That's what family's for!" Naruto said with a smile.

Yami let out a snort, but the corners of his lips twitched upwards as well. They stayed like this for a few more seconds, before his smile turned into an evil smirk.

"You can let me go now," he said, barely keeping the amusement from his voice, "I know I'm attractive and you can't keep your hands off of me, but unfortunately for you, I don't swing that way."

"Ewwww!" Naruto was so fast in moving, it almost seemed like he teleported a meter away. "That's so gross! And I like girls!"

"Ah, I thought so, you were really touchy with Naruko earlier. I had to practically tear you off of each other," Yami kept snickering. Naruto was just too easy to fluster and he wasn't going to let an opportunity like this go to waste.

"What?!" Naruto said flabbergasted with eyes as wide as saucers, "But.. You.. She..!" he started stammering.

Yami took a bit of pity on him and decided to let him off the hook.. For now. He still owed him for the earlier comfort after all. Wasn't he such a nice guy?

"All right, all right. Let's get down to business. We need to do a few tests with the shadow clones. First, I want you to start by making two," Yami instructed.

Naruto nodded, glad to get away from that particular topic. He put his fingers in the familiar cross-shaped sign.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

There were three puffs of smoke and three clones appeared. Yami hummed thoughtfully.

"I uh.. I tried making two, sorry," Naruto muttered.

"It's fine, chakra control is something we need to work on anyway, this just confirms it," Yami waved him off. "It's not bad actually, we can use this. You," he pointed at one of the clones. "Come here." When the clone did so, Yami looked at the other two, "Now, me, Naruto and this clone are going to turn around. I want you two to play a round of rock-paper-scissors and then dispel, all right?"

The two remaining clones answered with a nod each. "Oh and Naruko.. and Gems I suppose - if you get these memories and any future ones, ignore them. We're going to be testing and practicing with the Shadow Clone technique. Now, let's turn around." He did so and motioned for Naruto and the third clone to do the same.

The other two clones looked at each other, shrugged and did as they were instructed.

"Rock, paper, scissors! One, two, three, go!" both chanted loudly and dispelled after finishing the game.

Immediately, the three blonds that were left on the field were assaulted with memories. For Naruto and the third clone, things were simple - they saw one of the clones winning with rock. It was different for Yami however, he received all of Naruto's memories since the moment they had left the apartment, including his little episode. He couldn't help letting out a groan. He didn't want the airhead seeing that. Oh well, what was done was done. This was actually really informative and important. He turned to the third clone, "Did you get the memories?"

"Yep, I saw one of them winning with rock," the clone replied. Yami looked at Naruto, who just nodded.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Yami said and made the cross-shaped seal.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

There were another three puffs of smoke and three more clones appeared. These ones however definitely belonged to Yami. They shared his eyes.

"Hmm.." Yami hummed again, "interesting, so when we use it, we make copies of ourselves, instead of regular clones. I wonder if we'd be able to make copies of each other with enough training. I guess we'll have to test more later. Okay, same thing, you come over here," he pointed at one of his clones, "and you two will play rock-paper-scissors when we turn our backs and dispel again," he instructed and everyone did as they were told.

After Yami's clones disappeared, the now four blonds were hit with memories again. Yami and his copy got the simple memory of seeing how one of the clones won with scissors. Naruto and his clone however got all of Yami's memories since he had been remade at the apartment.

"So?" Yami asked.

"One of them won with scissors," his clone said and Yami looked at Naruto's clone. He looked at him with slightly wide eyes and responded, "Uh, I saw the same but.."

"But what?" Yami asked.

"But we also saw your memories since I summoned you in the apartment," Naruto continued, with unease.

"Right," Yami nodded. "I figured that would happen."

"Yami.." Naruto began, but hesitated. What was he supposed to say? He had felt Yami's memories and feelings. And he knew he was to blame for all that hate and pain. He had been ignoring his own feelings and because of that..

"It's fine," Yami waved it off.

"No, it's not. It's because of me.."

"Naruto," Yami cut him off, "what you did, what you do is normal. It's how you cope with everything. Any one in your position would have a coping mechanism. Don't blame yourself," he placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder and squeezed it a bit. "Besides, it's my purpose, it's the reason I exist. Despite everything, I'm all right with it. Otherwise I'd be denying my own existence." He smiled slightly, "And you said it too, I have you and Naruko. You make it bearable and worth it. Just.." Yami looked away, "just don't tell her I said that."

Naruto let out a laugh before he settled on a huge happy grin, "It's nice to hear you admit that. I won't, but you should tell her, she'll be happy."

"I have my reasons," Yami said. "Anyway, let's keep going. You two," he pointed at the last remaining clones, his and Naruto's. "do the same after we turn around. Play rock-paper-scissors and dispel yourselves."

The clones did so and Naruto and Yami were hit with the memories.

"A draw with paper," Naruto grinned, holding the back of his head with his hands.

Yami however was clutching his head. He was so stupid! Of course this would happen. When the clones dispelled, he got the memories of the result. And the memories of the clones, hearing his and Naruto's conversation. So now the bimbo would know what he had said!

"You okay Yami?" Naruto asked with a bit of concern. Was the mental exhaustion too much?

"Oh yeah, I'm okay, I was just focusing on the memories." Yami released his head and let out a sigh. He could picture Naruko's knowing look already. What Naruto said next snapped him from his musings however.

"I didn't get any extra memories this time. You know, the ones I got before."

"What?" Yami said, but his mind was already racing.

"You know, I didn't get all your memories since I summoned you from the apartment. Just the memories of the game and our conversation," Naruto explained.

Yami kept quiet for a bit and finally said, "All right, this may be confusing, so I'll do my best to explain it simply. I'm not even sure I got everything right myself, but.. I think I do." Yami looked at Naruto and received a concentrated look for a response. Or as concentrated as it would get anyway.

"We just had three pairs of our clones play rock-paper-scissor and dispel, right? The first pair consisted only of your clones, so when they dispelled, I received all of your memories from the moment you made me in the apartment, before we left. The second pair of clones were my clones and when they dispelled, you received all of my memories from the moment I was summoned in your apartment, before we just left. Do you follow so far?"

Naruto nodded. It was simple enough so far.

"Okay, here is where it gets tricky. The last pair of clones consisted of a clone each - one of yours and one of mine. The memories I received from your clone and the ones you received from mine were from the moment I was summoned as well."

"Wait.. That's not true, I only got the new memories," Naruto said confused.

"No, that's what our mind thinks. But because we already received the memories once before, when we got them the second time they just overlapped and our brain ignored them and all of the mental stress," Yami explained and waited for Naruto's response.

Naruto scrunched his eyes and thought about it seriously before he hesitantly said, "So when the last clones dispelled.. Technically we just got their newest memories, not the ones we already had?"

"Yep! Which is huge!" Yami said enthusiastically. Naruto didn't follow, but he decided to wait for the explanation. He was sure one would come and he wasn't disappointed.

"Basically, we can space out the intake of memories and the mental exhaustion that comes with them. Let's say if me and Naruko create and dispel a clone every two hours, you'll get our memories for those two hours. Then you can take some time to let your mind rest and absorb the information, before moving on with whatever you were doing and in another two hours we would do the same thing. Of course, this needs testing and I'm not sure what would happen in combat situations. But now we have a basis!" Yami said unusually happy. Naruto guessed it was because he was smart and he had made some smart discovery. He didn't get everything completely, but he was more of a hands-on guy. He was sure he'd get the whole theory behind it eventually with enough practice.

"I'll think about making some sort of schedule tonight. For now, let's try pushing the limits. Or at least locating them. Start by making ten clones. You'll spar with them one on one until they're all gone and you'll make more."

"What's the purpose of that?" Naruto asked.

"Training," Yami said simply. "Training your hand-to-hand combat, training your stamina and I guess training your mental strength as well. I told you, the more you train, the stronger we become, not just you. In essence, our lives are tied to yours. If you die, we die as well, so we are all reliant on your strength to survive."

Naruto's eyes widened at that explanation. He had never even thought of that. Even if they were aspects of him, Yami and Naruko had established themselves in his life as his closest and most important people. And they were entirely dependent on him. His chest swelled with newfound resolve and determination. He would train, train, train, and train until he passed out. He would become strong enough to keep himself safe and by proxy them as well. He would do his best to protect the small happiness that had finally started blossoming in their life.

He brought his hands in the cross-shaped hand sign and yelled, **"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

He felt the familiar energy of chakra release emanate from his body along with another familiar feeling. Yet, instead of the ten clones he had wanted to make, only one appeared.

"Ugh, Naruto," Yami groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maybe we should start with chakra control."

"But.. I poured enough chakra for at least ten clones!" Naruto defended himself.

"Then why is there only one here?" Yami waved at the clone, who seemed to have taken the gesture as his cue. He straightened his back and waved at them with a serious expression.

"Greetings!" the new arrival almost yelled with enthusiasm dripping from his voice.

Now both Naruto and Yami were quiet and looking at the clone. This was a very uncharacteristic thing of Naruto or a clone of him to say. In fact, they had never used that word. They, or technically Naruto had only heard it from grown-ups when he was younger. Yami was the first to say something, "Naruto.. Did you make another one?" To outsiders, the question would have probably been silly. Another one what, clone? Well, obviously. But Yami had meant something else entirely.

Now Naruto could identify the second feeling he had felt before he had summoned the clone. It was the same secondary feeling he had felt right before he had summoned Yami and Naruko. He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"Uhm.. Whoops."

**!~¡**

**(1) Bunshin no jutsu **- The Clone technique. Unlike the Shadow Clone technique that Naruto can use, this one only projects an intangible image of the user. Its purposes are mainly for diversion and as a stepping stone for higher level clone techniques that produce solid clones;  
><strong>(2) <strong>It was a lesson that even Naruto had paid attention to. It was about a previous Hokage after all. Back then he needed to know who exactly he was going to surpass;**  
>(3) genin <strong>- literally means "low ninja"; an official rank for ninja, given to them once they graduate the Ninja Academy or whatever Ninja educational institution they have attended; It is the starting rank of their career;  
><strong>(4) Henge no jutsu<strong> - Transformation technique. Used by ninja to change their appearance into another person or even animal, plant or inanimate object;  
><strong>(5) <strong>Instant ramen cannot be considered as a real homemade meal, even if it was technically Godfood.

**!~¡**

**Author's musings: But first!**

**IMPORTANT:**** I have a huge favor to ask of you, my beautiful readers. In a chapter or two, I'll have a poll on my profile with possible names for Naruto's final aspects. She's a bit tricky, because 1) you've read right, it'll be a she; 2) She'll be different from Naruko; and 3) she has a major significance. I have three names as candidates: **Junko**(my second favourite Japanese name after Kaede and kind of significant to the Naruto franchise), **Narumi**(this is the least likely one), and **Kiyomi**(significant because of the way she'll be created and I'll say no more). Until the poll is up, please leave a comment with your opinion on which one you like or if you have a suggestion.**

**Once again, the names I have are **Junko**, **Narumi**, and **Kiyomi**. I'm leaning towards **Kiyomi**(it means pure beauty btw)** **the most at the moment and it'll probably be the one. However, I'd like to see your suggestions and opinions. It will be the last of Naruto's clone aspects, so let's make it count.**

**As for this chapter.. Whoops, indeed! Also, it's longer than I intended. In my defense, I couldn't help it. Naruto, Yami and Naruko practically write themselves with their antics. The Gems were completely unintended, I just thought what would Naruto, Naruko and Yami say and do in that situation and voil****à****. More importantly, at least I managed to introduce the new aspect as I intended. As for the rest of him, well, the chapter would have become reaaaally long. So I did you guys a favor and cut it here. Aren't I nice?.. Guys? Anyone?**

**So did you like it? Did you have fun, which parts did you like and why? If you did like it, please tell me with a comment, favor and/or follow the story. It makes me really happy to see that!**

**Thank you everyone for reading, I hope you had fun! Ta-ta!~**

**!~¡**


	4. Chapter 4: Flames of Youth!

**Author's Ramblings: Woo-hoo, chapter 4! I'm glad so many of you are enjoying the story! 29 reviews, 73 favs, 108 follows, and 3 communities and it's only been 3 chapters. Not to mention over 3k hits.. . Thank you wonderful reviewers: **Remzal Von Enili**, **Guest(2)**, **idea-getthe**, **Guest(3)**,** GravityTonttu**, **tastybigsexy**, **More**, **Drazili**, **ice flame dragon**, **TazalTerminals**, **dascross**, **pseudo41**, **blood enraged**, and **zolydck**! You're all amazing! Here are some replies:**

**Remzal Von Enili: **That's a good question. Unfortunately, if I answer it, I'll spoil the story. I guess what I'm saying is, you'll find out soon enough. **;)**

**Guest(2): **It actually kind of is a lifestyle already.. As for the orange spandex, that'd be too much orange even for Naruto.

**Guest(3): **Well, I don't know Japanese, although I've studied it and Japanese culture. I haven't watched the anime since the first filler arc in Shippūden either. It's always a bit annoying when I read stories and there's all these Japanese words and I don't understand them. So I'm offering some translation for those of you wonderful people who are like me.

**Drazili: **I thought I mentioned it last chapter, but there'll be 6 total aspects, including the original Naruto. I can't say anything about the Kyūbi yet, cause spoilers. But yes.

**ice flame dragon: **There is no such thing as a serious Naruto. To me, he will always be the hyperactive, loudmouth, charming, determined knucklehead I grew up with. The one that always made me laugh and loved orange as much as me.

**TazalTerminals: **Hehe, I've been expecting this question. It's been hard to think up something, but I finally have not one, but two pairings in mind! Asuma/Kurenai and Hayate/Yugao. Now, I'm sure everyone is excited about those two. Unfortunately, I'm not going to show much of them. Sorry. **:(**

**dasross: **Junko means pure child I think. Narumi doesn't mean anything in particular, just "Naru" which is self-explanatory and "mi" which means beauty and is usually put at the end of female names.. I think..

**pseudo41: **Ah, that's a fair criticism. Unfortunately, that's the way I am, I tend to obsess over the details sometimes and it shows in my writing. It's hard, but it used to be much worse. At the same time, these details are important for whatever little plot the story has. Wait, I'll even put the next bit in bold. **There is a bigger picture to the story and some of you might have guessed what it's related to. However, the real focus are the Uzumaki's and their humorous interactions with each other and the rest of the world.**

**I've noticed a lot of people liked the name Kiyomi and honestly, that one's my favourite too. At this point I might even skip the poll, although I was really excited about it.**

**And now I present to you, chapter 4 of the Cure for Loneliness!  
>Edit: It's almost 4 am, I've checked this one and I think I've fixed all mistakes and stuff. Passing out now.<strong>

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**The Cure for Loneliness**

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**Chapter 4: Flames of Youth!**

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It took Naruko some time to realize what was making her feel uneasy. It wasn't until she received the first batch of memories from Naruto and Yami's training that she got the epiphany.

It was the cold treatment from the villagers. Or rather the complete lack of such treatment. She was being ignored by most of the people she met around on the street. And it wasn't the "I see you're there, but I'll pretend you don't exist cause I'm an ass" kind of ignoring. This ignoring was more on the lines of "you're just another person in the crowd so I don't really care about you". It was much more different from the treatment Naruto and Yami had apparently just received.

And it was obvious why she wasn't receiving it. Even if she had the same eyes, the same facial features, the same hair, and the same whisker marks, she _wasn't_ Naruto, the Kyūbi Jinchūriki. Any looks she did receive were more on the lines of curiosity, directed at her attire. The very few that actually spared her more than passing or, she shuddered at the thought, appreciative glances realized that there was some sort of resemblance between her and Naruto. And even then there was only confusion followed by dismissal. She could practically read the thoughts over their heads: "What do I care if the demon brat has a sister/cousin/sibling? Sucks to be them for being related to the demon."

It bothered Naruko for a bit, but in the end she just shrugged it off and went on her way. The Village hidden in the Leaves and its inhabitants did not actually matter to her in any way. The only real thing that mattered in her existence was her family. She had a task to take care of it and that was the most important thing to her.

So there was no surprise when she paused in her walking for a lot longer when she received Yami's memories of his little episode. This time she had felt everything from his side and had to fight the initial urge to disperse some well-deserved female fury. She turned around and saw the Gems were still behind her, albeit looking uncomfortable. They were probably assimilating what had happened to Naruto and Yami as well.

Normally, Naruko had decided to keep away from their little debates on the fate of the village. It was obvious to her Yami wanted to enact a fate on the village that could probably be found in a book titled something like "1 000 unusual ways to make things burn". Naruto, for whatever reason, had deemed it not worth the time or the effort or whatever.

Normally, she really didn't care. She only cared for her closest people. Except this time, her closest people were hurt.

She quickly re-evaluated her destination and started walking in a different direction. Her initial plan was to shop at the convenience store that had treated Naruto civilly in the past. Now she was heading to a store that had treated him anything but. As far as righteous karma went, it probably wasn't much - buying a couple of things with fake money could hardly classify as payback for what Naruto has had to endure for the past 12 years of his life at the hands of the stupid villagers. It was petty and insignificant, but it would make her, and hopefully Yami feel at least a bit better.

What ended up happening came as a great surprise for her. 30 minutes later, Naruko was numbly watching the flames in the burning store being doused by a few water jutsu from the ninja that had come to battle the fire. She shook her head in disbelief before directing a wide-eyed look to the skies, as if addressing some higher being or Deity, "You know, when I was thinking of righteous karma, I didn't exactly mean this."

Whoever she was talking to did not deem it necessary to provide any kind of response, unless she counted pointed silence as one. With a sigh she turned to look at the three very uncomfortable and guilty looking Gems, who were shuffling around nervously behind her.

"How did you three even manage to do that?" she asked them, still bewildered at what had happened.

"It wasn't my fault!" the black-haired one began.

"I just followed your list exactly!" the green-eyed one said at the same time.

"They were going to boil them alive!" the redhead screamed, horror dripping from her voice.

Naruko listened to their stories for the next few minutes, doing her best to understand what the hell they were talking about. All she managed to make out was something about lobsters. She brought her hand up, which made the Gems to promptly shut up.

"That's enough, we'll find out exactly what you did later tonight anyway." She picked up the bag with the things she had managed to save and started walking. "Come on, let's go home."

"Aren't we going to buy more groceries?" asked the black-haired Gem.

"Yeah, we haven't even gotten half of the things you had written on the lists," said the redhead.

"I think we've done enough damage to the village for one day," Naruko said and stopped in her tracks.

On second thought, they still needed to buy more things. And they haven't even spent any money yet, since there hadn't been any time to pay, with fleeing the flames and all. She looked at the Gems and with a small smile creeping on her face, she headed to another store that hadn't been particularly nice to Naruto in the past.

_"It's not like they're going to do that again," _she rehearsed in her mind. _"I mean, what are the chances of them accidentally setting two stores on fire in one day?"_

**!~¡**

Yami thoughtfully observed the smoke pillar that was rising towards the cloudless sky. This was the second one in the past hour and a half. He briefly wondered if maybe there was something going on in the village. They were official ninja now, they had a duty. If someone was going around, setting things on fire, then Yami definitely wanted to help. It was unclear if he wanted to help the village or the someone, but that was a minor and unimportant detail.

"Ha!" Naruto's loud shout snapped Yami from his fantasies. "I won this time!" Yami directed his attention at the pair of blonds who had just finished another one of their races around the training field. He headed towards them and decided to quickly dampen Naruto's pride.

"I should remind you that this is your third race," Yami said. "And before that, you had a competition who would do push-ups and squats faster and you lost those too. I'm amazed actually, you're the original, you're supposed to be better than us, at least in the physical department."

"Hey! I am better, I won the last one!" Naruto protested.

"Yes, but that's because our new friend is getting tired. Remember, while you replenish chakra, we continuously use it. Frankly, I'm amazed it took him so long to tire. He was even able to beat you at the physical exercises.. How much chakra did you pour into him anyway?"

"Frankly?" the clone asked looking a bit confused. Yami rolled his eyes. Great, another dimwit.

"It means honestly," Naruto explained, much to Yami's surprise. Maybe there was still hope for them yet. "And I don't know, I thought I used the usual amount for him."

"Hmm.. You were supposed to make 10 clones when you created him. Maybe all that chakra was compressed into him?" Yami said thoughtfully.

"Is that even possible? I thought the chakra was divided evenly between myself and my clones," Naruto said.

"Maybe you can actually control how much you give us?" the new clone offered.

"Hmm.. I guess it's related to chakra control. Which means we'll have to start practicing that as soon as possible," Yami said. "Anyway, we should go get something to eat. I'm halfway through my tank and I'm guessing our new friend doesn't have much left either. We can't let him dispel yet since we don't know his name or identity." Well, that was partially true. Yami had an idea which portion of Naruto the clone represented. After much prodding, Naruto had finally admitted exactly what he had felt when he had created the new clone. Yami might've been touched at the sentiment if he hadn't been trying to figure out what had happened.

The new clone was Naruto's desire to train in order to protect them. That was just on the surface though. Yami had a feeling it was much more than that. He thought the clone also represented Naruto's resolve as well. It was practically their will to never give up and always do their best incarnate, coupled with an incredible drive for training. He shuddered at the thought and wondered if there even was another such individual in Konoha or even the Elemental Nations.

The Universe rouse from her slumber the moment Yami had made that thought and immediately set events into motion. Unfortunately for Yami, the Uzumaki's and probably the whole of Konoha, she tended to get bored easily. Which meant she needed to find new and unusual ways to amuse herself.

"All right, who's up for some Ichiraku!?" Naruto asked what he thought was another retropical question.

"Actually, I think we should just get a light snack," Yami said and immediately became the focus of a pair of horrified looks from Naruto and the new clone. "If we go to Ichiraku now, we'll eat too much and ruin our dinner and the airhead will get loud again. Besides, we don't have enough money for all three of us. Unless you want to use copied money?"

"No, we can't do that to them," Naruto said. The folks at the Ichiraku Ramen stand belonged in the category of very few people that treated Naruto with some amount of kindness. Even Yami had begrudgingly agreed to that.

"Let's just get some onigiri, that should be enough to replenish our energy. Oh and," Yami looked at the other clone, "the new guy's paying."

"Yosh!" said new guy practically screamed, making Yami wince. If there was any problem with this aspect, it was that sometimes he was louder than Naruto _and_ Naruko combined. "I am more than happy to treat you, my wonderful Creator and Aniki**(1)**!" he yelled with enthusiasm.

Yami lifted an eyebrow at the clone. Aniki? Where did that come from? Well, he supposed he was technically the most senior one of the aspects. That term was.. surprisingly acceptable.

The trio left the training field and went to one of the nearby convenient stores. They heard people talking about some curse going around the village and setting stores on fire, but they didn't pay them much attention. It was probably just some silly urban legend. After they bought and ate the onigiri, they headed back to the training field to continue with whatever tests or experiments Yami wanted to do, until they came across a very unusual sight.

For a brief moment no one was paying any of the usual hateful attention to the blonds. All of it was instead directed at a tall man, who was walking on the street on his arms. The strangeness didn't end there, because the man was wearing a green spandex bodysuit, striped orange leg warmers, a pair of blue open-tipped ninja sandals and the standard, sleeveless, green Konoha jōnin**(2)** vest. His forehead protector was on a red cloth and was tied around his waist like a belt. However, his attire wasn't his most striking feature. When he passed by the blonds, they saw his face was the home of a large nose, high cheek-bones and the largest, thickest pair of eye-brows that had a significant claim on the real estate of his forehead.

"Did you see that?" Naruto asked.

"He was walking on his hands!" the new guy said with awe.

"And that spandex.." Yami shook his head. At least the orange leg warmers showed the strange man had _some_ fashion sense.

"Well, I was talking about his eyebrows. They were so bushy!" Naruto said. "Let's follow him!"

"What?!" Yami said startled, but Naruto had already taken off after the strange man with the new guy close behind him. He let out an exasperated sigh and followed them.

After some time the trio of blondes realized what the man was doing. He was making laps around Konoha on his hands, for whatever reason. It was a truly strange sight, but they noticed that despite his exhaustion and the ridicule that came from the villagers, the man kept his focus on the task. Naruto wondered why he was doing something like that but the new guy had said it was an amazing way to train. After the 2nd lap, Naruto's curiosity became unbearable and he stood in front of the strange ninja.

"Hey," Naruto said, "why are you walking around the village on your hands like this?"

The man was surprised someone had stopped him, but answered anyway, "I lost a challenge."

"A challenge?" Naruto asked, cocking his head to the side. "Oh, like a bet? And because of that you have to do laps around the village on your hands?"

It seemed to the man it would take a while to explain things properly, so he pushed from his hands and landed on his feet. He stood at a height of over 6 feet**(3) **and also sported a shiny black bowl-cut for a hairstyle.

"Not a bet, youngster. It was a challenge against my eternal rival!" the man said with enthusiasm, while pumping his fist in the air.

"What kind of challenge was it?" Yami was the one to ask.

The man looked surprised at his appearance and finally noticed the third blond as well. He looked between the trio before he answered, "Rock-paper-scissors."

"What?!" Naruto yelled, "You lost at rock-paper-scissors and because of that you have to do laps around the village on your hands?! That's stupid!"

To their surprise, the strange man chuckled, "Then, would you like to play against me, yougster?"

For Naruto, those were the magic words, after all he knew a challenge when he heard one. His features immediately became determined, "You're on!"

Ten rounds of rock-paper-scissor followed and to Naruto's horror, he lost all of them. The strange man chuckled again and said with confidence, "How about one of your clones joins us as well? I'll play with him with my other hand and if I lose or draw to either of you even once, I'll add another 100 laps around Konoha to the ones I have to do."

Naruto's eyes widened at the challenge and became even more determined. It felt like this strange man was mocking him! He looked at Yami, who shook his head, which meant the new guy would be the other player. Another ten rounds followed and the strange man had won all of them again.

"How..?" Naruto asked bewildered.

"He was looking at the movements of your hands," the answer came from an equally awe-struck Yami. "He saw which signs both of you were going to make from the twitches of your hands and made the opposite ones." Naruto's and the new guy's mouths fell open.

"Oh!" the man seemed surprised at Yami, "You're pretty good to notice that."

"Coming from someone like you.." Yami shook his head, "how did you even lose to this.. rival?"

"That my youthful friends is a tale of adventure and strife, spanning the last year. I would gladly tell it to you," the man made a meaningful pause to look at each one of them, "but first I need to finish my laps!"

"Oh come on!" Naruto groaned. "It's not like your rival or whatever is even here, watching us. Can't you tell us and then finish them?"

The man chuckled before standing on his hands again. "It doesn't matter if he's here, I made a promise to finish them and I always keep my promises," he said as he started walking. "If you want to know, you'll just have to follow me. I only have 2 more laps left."

"Yosh!" the new guy yelled, before standing on his hands as well and moving after the strange man.

"Wait, new guy, I don't think he meant to follow him on our hands!" Naruto yelled, to no avail.

Yami saw an opportunity and immediately jumped it, "It might not be such a bad idea. You could call it training," he said thoughtfully. "Ah, but I doubt you can last as long as the new guy, you barely beat him before." He hadn't even finished the sentence and Naruto had already taken after them on his hands.

Yami shook his head. What simpletons. At least he had found a use for the new guy. He could definitely motivate Naruto in his training. _"He would be trying to defeat himself, how poetic." _Yami snorted. Still, if the new guy was going to be used, they needed to keep him until he told them his name. Which meant getting food to replenish the chakra that was going to be wasted in this ridiculous exercise. With a sigh, he took off.

An hour later, he met with them at the same spot. Naruto and the new guy had immediately dug into the onigiri Yami had gotten them. Naruto offered one to the strange man as well, who chuckled and accepted it.

"Such youthful display, to be able to keep up with me!" he said and practically ate the whole onigiri in one bite.

"You're the amazing one, Mister Bushy-brows! How many laps did you have to do anyway?" Naruto asked.

"Bushy-brows?!" the man said surprised. "That's right, I haven't introduced myself!" He jumped to his feet and while winking gave them a thumbs-up and a smile that literally twinkled. "I am Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey, the Leaf's noble gentleman, an elite jōnin of the Village Hidden in Leaves, Maito Gai! And to answer your question, it was 500."

"What, 500?! That's insane, how long have you been doing this for?!" Yami couldn't keep his cool.

The strange man, now identified as Gai just gave them another dazzling smile, "For someone whose flames of youth burn brightly, this is nothing!"

"Come on, tell us the story, Maito-san**(4)**!" the new guy said with his usual enthusiasm.

"Please, just call me Gai-sensei**(5)**. Now, the story of me and my rival starts from before we even entered the Academy. In fact, it was on the first day of studies that our youthful rivalry was sparked!"

Yami groaned. This was going to take a looooooong while. To his surprise the new guy and even Naruto were paying an unusual degree of attention to this Maito Gai. To his credit, Gai's story was masterfully told and actually pretty interesting at times. From what they understood, his rival, who went by the name of Hatake Kakashi was a natural born genius who was good at everything he did. Gai on the other hand was the typical looser. However, through many years of blood, sweat and hard work, Gai had reached a level where he could challenge this natural genius to the point of having an equal score in their battles. And then Gai reached the point where he started answering their real question.

"An year ago, it was my eternal rival's turn to pick the rules for our next battle of youth. And he picked rock-paper-scissors," Gai said.

"Sounds like he didn't even want to bother," Yami pointed out.

"Ah, I thought so as well at first. However! My rival pointed out that it was as much of a game of luck as it was of reflexes, like I demonstrated earlier."

Yami kept quiet this time, even if it still seemed to him this Kakashi just wanted to get rid of Gai.

"I lost. And before every one of our challenges, I always make a promise to do something if I lose," Gai said.

"Wait, you decided to do the 500 laps by yourself?" Naruto asked with shock.

"That's right. It becomes a situation of either "win" or "do a hellish task if I lose". That way, even if I lost, in the end I could look back at the situation and feel good that I managed to achieve something like walking 500 laps around Konoha on my hands. That is the beauty of my 'Self-imposed rules'!"

Yami shook his head. This man was insane, now he was sure of it. He looked at his fellow blonds and barely resisted the urge to facepalm. Why him? Was he destined to be surrounded by crazy idiots? The new guy practically had a starry look in his eyes and even Naruto looked awe-inspired by the story.

"After that challenge, I practiced my observation skills and reflexes rigorously, to the point I even managed to start winning against my eternal rival," Gai continued the story, pride practically dripping from his every word.

"What happened then? Why were you doing laps on your hands?" Yami asked.

Gai's enthusiasm waned a bit as he became more quite, which in reality meant slightly less loud. "My rival has a special ability. A dōjutsu**(6)**, the Sharingan**(7)**, that allows him to see things in a very slow motion and react accordingly."

"Dōjutsu?" Naruto asked confused.

"It's a genetic trait that utilises the eyes and grants the user some sort of ocular ability," Gai-sensei explained.

"Sounds like you're fighting a losing battle," Yami said. To his surprise, Gai only chuckled.

"It does, doesn't it? However! For me to stop would mean admitting defeat, which would be the same as giving up. That is something I can never do, it would go against my ninja way!" Gai said.

Now even Yami was a bit taken back. The man was an insane weirdo with zero fashion sense, but Yami still felt budding respect for him. It was the same policy Naruto and by extension all aspects of his personality shared. Giving up meant falling in the clutches of hopelessness. Giving up meant that the villagers had won. They would never give up, not if Yami had anything to say about it. Besides, after people learned about Naruto and his new "family", they would probably be considered insane weirdoes with no fashion sense as well. At least orange was superior to green.

The new guy was the first to break the ensued contemplation. He stood in front of the Green beast of Konoha and bowed deeply, "Gai-sensei! Please take me as your apprentice!"

Yami felt panic rise in his throat, but couldn't scream a thing, because Naruto was faster. "Hey yeah! I bet you must be super strong! You can teach us some really cool jutsu, right?"

Gai allowed himself to be surprised only for a fraction of a second before he yelled, "I see the flames of youth are burning in you with great strength! It is always great to see someone living fully in their springtime of youth!"

Naruto had no idea what Gai had just said but was hoping it was a long way to say yes. Yami shared his confusion with his hope being that it was a long way to say no.

"However, I am sad to say I am already a jōnin instructor in charge of three wonderful and youthful students." Gai said a bit solemnly.

"Oh," Naruto shared the new guy's crushed expression. Yami on the other hand almost whooped. They had dodged a kunai there. His happiness was premature however. Seeing the youthful enthusiasm get replaced with such a solemn mood brought a huge pang in Gai's chest.

"Tell me, youngster, what rank are you?" he asked.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I'm a genin of Konoha! Remember that!" Naruto yelled, pointing a thumb at his forehead protector.

"Ah, you graduated recently, didn't you?" Gai asked and got a nod filled with pride. "Well, that means you'll be placed on a team and will be assigned a jōnin instructor as well. So you'll get someone to help with your youthful training soon enough."

"Yeah, but they probably won't be as cool as you," the boy's clone said. Gai felt an unfamiliar feeling of happiness in his chest. Not many used the word cool to describe him. In fact, the word was rarely even mentioned in the same sentence with his name. That department was one of the things he always lost in against his eternal rival.

"Tell me, why do you want me to teach you?" Gai asked.

"Because we'd probably learn some pretty cool stuff and jutsu from you, Bushy-brow-sensei," Naruto said.

Gai lifted one of said bushy-brows at the nickname. How come the original addressed him like that, while the clone showed such respect? Aloud he said, "No, I meant what is your reason for wanting to train?"

"Oh!" Naruto said in understanding before he moved his arms around his clones' necks and pulled him close towards him. "It's so I'm strong enough to protect my family!"

"Family?" Gai asked in confusion.

"Yeah! This is Ya.. Ouch!" Naruto yelled and looked at his red-eyed clone. "Why the hell did you do that for?"

"I'm sorry, what?" the red-eyed clone asked.

"You stepped on my foot!" Naruto shouted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. The heat must be getting to you," the red-eyed clone said.

"You're still standing on it!" Naruto complained. Gai looked at their feet and indeed, the red-eyed clone was doing that. And wait.. Why were his eyes red and wrong in the first place? If these were kage bunshin, weren't they supposed to be exact copies? And how did this genin even know the Kage Bunshin no jutsu, it was a B-ranked technique. Now that he thought about it, this kid looked familiar.. Messy blond hair, blue eyes, whisker marks.. Gai was sure he had seen him somewhere. Perhaps a little investigation was in order.

"How about this, Naruto," he said. "Why don't you come by tomorrow after my team's practice is over? I usually stay for extra lessons with one of my students. In fact he's usually with me when I'm doing one of my 'Self-imposed rules', but he twisted his arm recently after getting in a bar fight, so he's at home doing one-armed push-ups."

"Yosh! I'll definitely come, Gai-sensei!" Naruto's normal clone yelled. "What time and where?"

Gai looked at the clone strangely. Why would a clone want to come to the practice? He supposed that was part of the mystery that was Uzumaki Naruto. A mystery he would start to unravel tomorrow. "Training ground 27, it is right outside the village, south of the east-most entrance of Konoha. And come by in the early afternoon. Now if you'll excuse me, my youthful future students, it is time for my early evening run! I shall see you tomorrow!" Gai yelled, but seemed to remember something in the last moment. "Wait, I have something for you!" He reached for one of the inner pockets of his jōnin vest produced a green bodysuit, similar to his with the only difference being it was a few sizes smaller.

"Here you go!" he yelled, giving it to Naruto. "This is the ultimate, stream-lined, form-fitting, easily accessible, perfectly-made bodysuit! Wear it while training and you will _know_ the difference! It is 100% guaranteed to keep your flames of youth brightly lit!" Gai produced one of his signature "nice guy" poses, his smile practically illuminating the nearby area.

Naruto happily grabbed the bodysuit and pressed it over his body to check if it would fit him. "Thanks a lot, Bushy-brow-sensei!"

"No problems, my boy! And if you're interested in the leg warmers, I got them from a store called 'Orange world'. It has some pretty good merchandise. Now, I must be on my way, our meeting has fanned my youthful flames to new degrees!" Gai gave them one final thumbs up, before he disappeared in a green blur.

Yami rubbed the sides of his head. He had a bad feeling about this training thing, but then again Gai-sensei did look pretty strong. And they did need to do some proper chakra control exercises. The only one he knew was the leaf-sticking one, so maybe the new guy could ask the self-proclaimed noble gentleman for advice. Yami would just need to make sure the Uzumaki family's newest addition didn't pick-up too much of the weirdness. Speaking of that, he turned to Naruto, "You're not wearing that thing."

"Whaaaaaat!? But it would fit me!" Naruto protested.

"No! If you wear it, then I'll get it as well, when you summon me. I'd rather wear our orange tracksuit, thank you very much," Yami said.

"Oh come on, green isn't so bad either! We used to wear green goggles too! We'll wear it just for training," Naruto tried to make his case.

"Pfft, orange is still much better," Yami snorted.

"But it's a gift! We rarely get any of those." That was the understatement of the year. The amount of gifts Naruto had received in his short life could be counted on the hand of a blind butcher.

"You are _not_ wearing that," Yami wouldn't budge.

"Then I'll wear it," the new guy said and snatched the bodysuit from Naruto. Yami considered it for a bit, but in the end conceded. It was the lesser evil - one of them wearing it was better than all of them wearing it.

Naruto let out a sigh. "Why do my clones get the coolest things?" The new guy chuckled and gave him a thumbs up while winking.

Yami's eyes widened. Maybe he was already too late for the weirdness prevention.

"So how about we go to Orange world to pick those leg warmers?" the new guy asked.

"Ugh, fine," Yami groaned. At least they were orange. "But we're going to the pharmacy to get aspirin afterwards and then back home. It's starting to get pretty late, we wasted a lot of time listening to Gai-sensei's story."

"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. I liked the bit where Gai-sensei said he used to be a loser, but then trained super hard to become a badass," Naruto said, as he started walking.

"I liked that bit too!" the new-guy said. Yami just shook his head. That was basically the whole story.

**!~¡**

The trio of blonds were now nearing their apartment. Indeed, they had found the striped orange leg warmers and the new guy was now happily wearing them on his legs. He had replaced their usual orange tracksuit and was now wearing the bodysuit as well, with the forehead protector tied around his waist, much like Gai. He hadn't ditched his previous attire completely however. He had kept the jacket, opting to rip off the sleeves to make it have the same appearance as the standard Leaf jōnin vest, albeit with a different colour. Yami had made it clear that as far as similarities went, that was it. The moment the new guy picked the bowl-cut hairstyle, he would be having serious issues. Naruto had agreed with him on that and the new guy had admitted that their messy hairstyle suited them best.

"Today was a great day!" Naruto said happily. There were many wrongs with that statement, but Yami chose to keep quiet and let the aspirin do its glorious work. "We did some training, met Gai-sensei, got an awesome gift and got a new addition to our family! Hey, what should we call you anyway? We can't call you 'new guy' forever now," Naruto turned towards said new guy, who chuckled much like how Gai-sensei had earlier. He ran a few steps ahead before turning towards Naruto and Yami.

"I have decided on my name! From today onwards, I shall be known as Uzumaki Youth, Konoha's Handsome and Dashing Blond Devil!" he yelled, giving them a thumbs up and a dazzling smile. The remaining blonds had no idea how he had managed to make his smile shine so fast like that.

Even a deaf guy could hear the metaphorical crickets after the new guy's declaration. "No," Yami finally said.

"What?! Why not, it's an awesome name and title! It embodies our will and spirit to never give up!"

"Come on, there should be something better than Youth," Naruto agreed with Yami. "I'm sure you can think of a badass name."

"There's nothing wrong with Youth!" the new guy didn't give up, but was quickly shot down again.

"Not a chance," Yami said simply.

"Ugh, then how about Flames?" the new guy offered.

"That's not so bad," Naruto said.

"Yosh! Youthful Flames it is then!"

"You are NOT picking a name that's any form of the word 'youth'," Yami said through clenched teeth. He was starting to feel the need of a second aspirin. Or maybe a whole bottle. That would probably end his misery.

"Hmm.." Naruto said thoughtfully, "How about.. Honō**(8)**?"

They thought about it in silence. Yami felt himself nod, that was a pretty badass name. And it did embody, as the new guy had put it, their will and spirit to never give up in a way.

"I still like Youth the best," the self-proclaimed Dashing Blond Devil said.

Yami groaned. "Look, we'll talk about it over dinner. Let's just get home, we're pretty close anyway," he said and continued walking.

**!~¡**

Naruko hummed as she stirred the rice with her new wooden spoon. She looked at the new clock she had bought that was placed over one of the entrances to the kitchen. It was in the shape of the sun, orange in colour of course, and it was giving a huge happy grin. Currently it showed it was almost 7 in the evening. Naruko giggled happily and checked the oven to see how the fish was going. She couldn't wait for Naruto and Yami to come back and try her food. She had just done what she read in the first cooking book she found, but it was still exciting to her. She hoped it was good. Honestly, she would be happy if it could be considered as 'eatable' for her first attempt.

Today had been a busy and hectic day. After they were done with the shopping, Naruko and the Gems had returned in the apartment and she had immediately started cleaning. After a lot of sweeping, dusting, scrubbing, and filling of garbage bags, the apartment looked as clean as it had been on the day Naruto had first gotten it. The Gems had actually been a huge help to her and Naruko had decided to use them whenever she needed any assistance in the future. Speaking of them, she peaked into the living room. Even if they did have their moments, Naruko still had to make sure their small apartment wouldn't suffer the same fate as three of Konoha's convenience stores. To her relief, they were just sitting around the table and silently playing cards.

She had done some refurnishing as well. The old creaky kitchen table had been replaced with a new, bigger dining table that was now occupying the living room, instead of the kitchen. The space that upgrade had opened was filled by a large cupboard Naruko would use as a pantry. The small couch had been relocated as well, to open up more space for the dining table in case they had any new additions to the family. She considered that a really good purchase, since one of Naruto's dreams had always been to have big family dinners.

She heard the door of the apartment opening and her smile grew wider. _"Right on time,"_ she thought as she turned off the oven. She moved towards the noise to greet her family and she almost dropped the wooden spoon from her hand. Her mouth did drop however as she saw what looked like Naruto, dressed in a green bodysuit with striped orange leg warmers around his ankles. She watched the new arrival numbly, while he moved close to her, grabbed her free hand and bowing slightly, placed a kiss on it.

"Ah, you must be my sister, Naruko, Konoha's prettiest and most flawless flower! Allow me to introduce myself, I am the Leaf's Handsome and Dashing Blond Devil, Uzumaki Youth! I promise to protect you with my life!" he said, while winking, giving her a thumbs up and a smile that practically pinged with shine, before dropping her hand and moving towards the living room.

Naruko silently followed him with her eyes, before turning her head to look at Naruto, while still maintaining her wide-mouthed expression. She vaguely registered Yami shaking his head somewhere behind Naruto, but that wasn't important at the moment. Her pleading look demanded an explanation, something Naruto had caught on.

"Hehe, he actually meant Uzumaki Honō. He insists on Youth, but me and Yami think Honō is much better. We can discuss it over dinner," Naruto chuckled sheepishly, while rubbing the back of his head. "So how was your day?"

**!~¡**

**Bonus: Naruko's first shopping adventure!**

**!~¡**

"Oh!" Naruko exclaimed excited and rushed towards the table with books on it. How thoughtful of the managers of the store, they had placed some cooking books right at the entrance. Oh and there was a sale too. She grabbed one of each of the three copies, before an idea hit her. She motioned for the gems to come closer and gave them their lists.

"You," she offered one to the black-haired clone first, "are in charge of cleaning supplies. I've just written what we need and I don't know any particular brands, but please try to pick good ones. If you think of something extra, just get it." The Gem nodded and was on his way.

She handed one to the redhead, "I want you to go get some fish and meat. I want to treat ourselves tonight, so get some salmon. Get some ham, cheese and bread as well, in case I ever need to make sandwiches."

She finally turned to the green-eyed one, "You'll have a special task. I've given you a list of fruit and veggies, but I also want you to buy the stuff for one of the recipes," she said and taking out a pen, she started copying a recipe on his list, before giving it to him. "Get everything that's on this list." She received a nod and the last of the Gems went on his way.

Naruko nodded to herself and placed the books in her apron pocket. They were small and thin, so they fit easily. Now it was time to get the most important things. Getting her own list out, she headed towards the cosmetics section.

The green-eyed Gem looked thoughtfully at the list. He had gotten some of the icky fruit and vegetables and now it was time for the recipe.

"Three cups of rice," he read aloud. He took a packet of rice and looked at it thoughtfully, before he spotted a row of measuring cups on the other side of the aisle. Smiling at his luck he went over and picked one. He tore off the packet and measured three cups, throwing each one in the basket. He noticed some of the rice falling on the ground, but just shrugged. Naruko had told him to follow the list exactly.

"Two cups of cooking oil," he read again. Maybe he should hold onto the measuring cup.

The redhead had gotten enough ham, cheese and bread to last them for a month and was now heading to the seafood section. She noticed a large crowd gathering around what looked like a big aquarium. She managed to make her way through to the front and saw the aquarium had small living lobsters in it. In front of it there was a table with a portable cooker that was heating a big pot filled with boiling water.

"Step right up folks, for our live demonstration!" a man wearing a white apron and a white chef hat yelled.

"Excuse me, Mister," the redhead said, gaining the attention of the man. "What kind of demonstration is this? Are you going to show us tricks with the lobsters?"

The man chuckled, "No little girl, I'm going to show you how to prepare them. The first thing you need is a pot of boiling water. Then you pick the lobster and throw it in, while it's still alive. Of course, it dies immediately or at most after 5 seconds. When it turns a lovely red colour, you know it's done," he explained, not noticing the increasing look of horror on the redhead's face.

The black-haired Gem was happily walking around the store. He had finished with his list surprisingly fast. He had been confused about some of the things, like the little fire picture on some of the flasks he had bought, but in the end it was what Naruko probably needed. He was also confused why she needed scented candles, a few boxes of matches and a lighter, but it wasn't his job to question. He suddenly heard a commotion in the seafood aisle and rushed over to see what was happening.

He was treated to the sight of his redhead sister taking lobsters out of some aquarium, freeing their claws and throwing them at a large man dressed in white.

"Stop that you little brat!" the man yelled, however the redhead just continued throwing the lobsters at him, while screaming.

"You monster! How could you even think of doing something like that?!"

The man tried to move towards her, however one of the lobsters was accurately thrown at his crotch, where a pair of snaps were heard. He howled in pain and jumped back, flipping the table. The black-haired Gem rushed to help his sister, however the water had made the floor quite slippery, especially for someone running on it. He fell on the ground and felt the basket he was carrying slip from his grasp. He watched in fascination how it made a wide ark in the air before spilling its contents near the still working and extremely hot cooker. To his shock, another basket spilled its contents near his and he turned around to see his green-eyed brother in pretty much the exact same situation as him.

Time seemed to stop as the two shared a look, before looking at their baskets and the cooker. They jumped as one and somehow managed to grab their redheaded sister, who was still holding her basket, and flee the scene before the first explosion. The ensuing flames immediately followed the trail of cooking oil made by the green-eyed Gem around the store.

Naruko gave a sniff to the bottle of shampoo and the scent of citrus assaulted her senses. Yes, this would do nicely.

"Do you have a conditioner with the same scent?" she asked the older teenage girl that was working part-time in the cosmetics section. So far she had been of great help to her.

"Of course, you even get a discount if you get them together," the girl told her.

"Wonderful!" Naruko said and put the two bottles in her bag. So far she had gotten some dry deodorant, both female and male, different types of body wash, toothpastes, several toothbrushes, some soaps, bath salts, nail polish, make-up, and lipstick. Just because they were clones, didn't mean they had to neglect their personal hygiene. She wasn't sure about the make-up, but it didn't hurt to try some.

"Is that everything I can help you with?" the girl asked her.

"Yes, thank you for the help, I'm not good with these things," Naruko bowed slightly.

"Of course, please feel free to come by and ask me any questions you might have," the girl smiled.

Naruko bowed once more and headed for the cashiers. She would wait for the Gems outside, while reading some of the magazines she had picked. She heard some distant screams from the other side of the store, but didn't think much of it. Probably people excited about some promotion or something, nothing too important.

**!~¡**

**(1) Aniki - **An Honourable term for an older brother or superior;  
><strong>(2) j<strong>**ōnin - **literally means high or elite ninja; the second highest rank a ninja can earn in their career, being below only the Kage title;  
><strong>(3) <strong>Over 182 cm;  
><strong>(4) -san<strong> - a respectful honorific that roughly translates to "Mr.", "Mrs." or "Miss" in English;  
><strong>(5) -sensei<strong> - a honorific used for people who have achieved a certain degree of mastery in their chosen art form or are in a position of teaching;  
><strong>(6) d<strong>**ōjutsu** - literally means "eye techniques";  
><strong>(7) Sharingan - <strong>literally means "copy wheel eye".. Which warrants a "The Hell?";  
><strong>(8) Honō - <strong>literally means flame, blaze.

**!~¡**

**Author's Musings: Youth, Flame or Hon****ō? Decisions, decisions.**

**I have to say, Maito Gai-sensei is one of my favourite characters. I know he's basically introduced as comic relief, but in my eyes he's nothing short of amazing. The fact that he's basically a joke in the eyes of many and still manages to pull more than his weight (and the weights he's wearing) in clinch situations just makes him that much cooler. And **_[spoilers from latest chapters start here] **let's be honest, the only reason he didn't send Madara out of the atmosphere and into a low orbit around the moon, or just disintegrated him into a pile of ash with his techniques when he used the 8th gate of death, was because Naruto and Sasuke needed to have a final showdown with the "main" villain.**__[spoilers have ended]_

**Anyway, I find him one of the hardest characters to write, because it's tough to balance the ratio of seriousness and ridiculousness that represent all that Maito Gai-sensei is. It's why it took me so long to post this chapter. Just his name is already the best. I hope I did him justice and I hope I'll be able to do it properly in the future as well. And let's be honest, it can't be a humorous Naruto story without Gai-sensei having some major role in it. There will be a lot of Dynamic entries in the Uzumaki's lives.**

**Thank you for reading! What did you peeps think of the little Bonus? I had a lot of fun writing that one. Next chapter is already in the works. If you guys still want me to make a poll for names, let me know with a comment or PM. Speaking of names, what do you think I should call the newest youthful addition? Youth, Flame or Honō? Maybe I should put a poll of that. Remember to follow and fave if you're having fun! DYNAMIC Exiiiiiiiit !~**

**!~¡**


	5. Chapter 5: Special Tactics

**Author's musings: Chapter the Fifth is here! I'll keep it short for a change and jump straight to the action. But first, thank you wonderful readers for the favs, follows, reviews and PMs! **FoxsoulRedux**, **Cottermac**, **tastybigsexy**, **zolydck**, **Remzal Von Enili**, **KokuenDG**, **ice flame dragon**, **More**, **Lady Nyshah**, **aguy-reviewsgmail-com**(had to change your name, sorry)****, **idea-getthe**,** Ninggay**, **Guest(4)**, and **Achilles** you are all Super! Some responses:**

**Cottermac: **Yeah, he is so jolly and never lets anything get him down. The chapter where he faced the Waterfall of Truth was so funny. As for your question, I haven't thought about it. I might do it, if I see the chance for something ridiculous to happen. But it probably won't happen. Naruto's the original for a reason.

**KokuenDG: **That's a good idea, but the name's pretty similar to Sai and that's just.. I don't know, the youthful personality is just the complete opposite of Sai.

**ice flame dragon: **For some reason I never liked the name Arashi. I don't know why, it's probably the way it sounds. Don't get me wrong, it's a good name, but.. Maybe it's because it was associated with the Fourth Hokage? I dunno.

**More: **No backsies! **=p** It's fine, I'm sure there'll be other opportunities for a poll, like the one for the youthful personality. And yes, I think I'm having more fun than it's healthy at times. Just imagining the youthful personality meeting with Naruko, his introduction, his nice guy pose and her expression.. I was in a fit of cackles for a while. **XD**

** aguy-reviewsgmail-com: **That's a fair point. I'm actually more worried about the personalities than Naruto. From what I've planned, each one will have their moments, hopefully. I promise though, all of them are important either for ridiculousness or some important character development thingy.

**Remzal Von enili and idea-getthe: **I haven't thought much about it actually. Although, one of my favourite moments in the anime was when Gai-sensei and Lee were shouting each other's names while crying. I almost suffocated from laughing when I saw that. Or the Dynamic Entry. God that was a favourite phrase amongst my friends.

**Ninggay: **Hopefully, the Uzumaki's are just getting started. Naruto did write on his ninja profile his favourite thing was to cause trouble. **]=D**

**Achilles: **The chances of that are slim. **;)**

**I'm happy to see so many regulars leaving comments. It must mean I'm doing something right! I should also note, the name Hon****ō**** is pronounced with a long "o" at the end, like Honoo. Generally, all vowels that have a little line over them are meant to be long.**

**Enjoy !~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 5: Special tactics**

**!~¡**

Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage of the village Hidden in the Leaves took a long draw from his pipe. This had to be some sort of elaborate ploy. Or a cruel joke from Fate, Destiny, some random Deity or whatever higher power observed their little lives. He took a look at the reports once again.

Yesterday, three supermarkets had been burned around the village. The following investigations had showed that in all three cases there was some sort of freak chain of completely random events that caused the fires. It could be classified as incredible coincidence and even though Hiruzen, in his many years of experience leading the village and surviving through two world wars and countless crisis's had learned not to trust in those, he would have probably left it at that. At least until something more concrete showed up.

Yet, he couldn't stop thinking about them. The reason was according to eye-witnesses, during all those chains of freak accidents there was a child present. A girl, between the age of 12 and 14, with long, flowing crimson red hair.

Hiruzen knew such a girl once. A girl that had become an incredible woman. She had been in possession of qualities that described her extremely well - "beauty", "strength", and most of all "temper". In fact, her temper had been so developed, it had possessed qualities of its own - "short", "highly-explosive", and to the dread of many innocent bystanders, "indiscriminate". For when Uzumaki Kushina felt she was wronged in some way, everyone in the immediate vicinity became a target, no matter the state of their innocence.

Hiruzen felt himself open one of the drawers of his desk and pulling out a framed picture. He met the gaze of a woman, in her late twenties, with pale skin, violet eyes, a huge white grin on her face and most importantly a flowing crimson red hair, that reached all the way to her ankles. She was leaning to her left, her head placed on the shoulder of a tall blue-eyed man with spiky blond locks, who had his right arm around her waist. A gesture she was returning with her left arm, while her right hand rested on top of her swollen stomach. The man was sporting a matching grin, in fact all the people present in the picture were showing their happiness in some way. There was another man behind the blond one, who was taller and looked much older. He had messy white hair, surrounding his face like a wild mane, tamed in a long ponytail at his back. He was smiling, his eyes showing immense pride, and had one arm placed on top of the blond's left shoulder. The last individual present was a teenage boy, with gravity-defying grey hair and a face-mask that hid most of his features. He stood to the right of Kushina and one could infer the boy was also smiling from the way his eyes were crinkled.

Yet, Kushina was the sole focus of Hiruzen's attention. He studied her face and posture, the happiness she practically glowed with at being a future parent. Something she had only enjoyed for less than an hour.

"Is this your doing, Kushina?" Hiruzen asked the image. People would think he was growing senile, talking to a picture or entertaining the idea there might be vengeful spirits out and about. He however knew better than to dismiss anything as impossible in their world. "Is this your punishment for what the village has done to your son?"

He kept quiet for a bit, a growing ominous feeling tingling his gut sense. It was one that came with the years of experience, one that any shinobi**(1)** over the age of 30 received as a birthday gift for reaching that age. And Hiruzen was well over twice that age, so his gut sense was particularly potent. It made him ask another question, "Or is this just a premonition, a taste of what's to come?" Again, he received no answer, her eyes just smiling at him with mirth.

A sudden knock on the door snapped him from his musings. He quickly put the frame back in the drawer and closed it hastily. "Hokage-sama**(3)**," came the voice of his secretary after she opened the door, "Uzumaki Naruto is here to submit the papers for his ninja registration."

"Ah," a small smile crept on Hiruzen's face, immediately lifting his dark mood. "Send him in."

"Hey Old Man!" Naruto yelled after he walked into the room. He was carrying a small folder, which he gave to Hiruzen, before plopping on the only chair in the room. "I hope you're having a good day!" Those who knew Naruto well, which sadly only consisted of Hiruzen, would've been able to hear the hidden promise in the greeting - "cause I'm about to make it _really_ interesting."

Hiruzen simply chuckled. "I'm doing great," he lied, "thank you for asking, Naruto." He opened the folder and almost swallowed his pipe at Naruto's registration picture.

"So how is it? I didn't know what kind of face to make and after some thought I decided to do something more unique," Naruto grinned, rubbing the back of his head in prideful embarrassment**(4)**. "Pretty artistic, right?"

Hiruzen gave him a dull look. "Retake it!"

Naruto almost fell off his chair. "WHAT?!"

**!~¡**

Yami let out another loud yawn. He was so bored!

"If you have the time to be this loud and lazy, why not do something productive?" Naruko asked annoyed.

"Bah, like there's anything to do," Yami dismissed. The sudden silence nudged him to twist his head and look at Naruko, who was holding a broom and Honō, who was currently lifting their new dining table over his head "in a very youthful display" so she could sweep underneath it. Both were giving him a pair of unamused looks. Yami turned again to look at the ceiling and put his hands behind his head. "Yep, nothing to do at all," he said contently lying on the couch.

In fairness, he had already done plenty productive things since the moment Naruto first created him. As the most senior of the aspects, he had to make sure to keep the others in check. Like Honō for example, after much convincing and treats of bodily and mental harm during last night's dinner, the exuberant idiot had finally agreed to accept that name. It wasn't without sacrifice from Yami's side sadly. He had agreed that Honō was allowed to scream things related to youth for five times per day at most in his presence. Yami had a feeling he had been a bit lenient, but in the end it was the lesser of two evils.

Then there was Naruko, who had almost set the entire village on fire yesterday. Yami hadn't been sure if he should've been happy about her escapades or annoyed. In the end he had settled for giving her a large smile and an awkward pat on the shoulder, which had for whatever reason made her shudder. Naruto hadn't been too happy about the incidents, but at the same time he was too busy laughing at the Gems' stupidity and knack for causing trouble.

This morning they had spent an hour or two messing around with the Shadow Clone technique. Naruko had made some unreasonable requests regarding her attire last night and instead of spending more money, he had decided to really test the jutsu. The results were interesting to say the least, in fact they were mind blowing. Yami had shared his enthusiasm and had received three blank stares for his trouble. Alas, it seemed like he was destined to be surrounded by imbeciles for the rest of his life.

Then it was time for the ninja registration picture. Naruto hadn't been sure what kind of "cool pose" he wanted to make, despite Honō's insistence on the "nice-guy". Naruko had saved the day by suggesting some sort of face paint. Yami had the suspicion she wanted to do that to practice doing make-up, but had kept quiet. Finally, Naruto had taken off to do the picture and submit his registration with the Hokage. It was decided it'd be best if the aspects stayed at home while he was doing that to avoid any complications at least until tomorrow.

So here he was, lying on the coach and bored out of his mind. Well, he could go to the bookstore and get some books on chakra theory in light of this morning's revelations. But getting on Naruko's nerves had been more fun, at least in the beginning. He opened his mouth with the beginning of another long and loud yawn and almost ate a broom, courtesy of Naruko who had decided enough was enough.

"What the hell, you airhead?!" Yami yelled and jumped off the couch while coughing. "Are you so inept that you can't even do the only thing you've been created for - clean properly?!"

"Whatever do you mean? I just thought your attitude needed a bit of cleaning as well," Naruko responded smugly. She may not have known what inept meant, but she certainly knew the word attitude.

Yami's face showed a great amount of shock. "Whoa! You've barely learned to speak in complete sentences and now you're making witty remarks?!" He asked in mock surprise. "Careful, we don't want that pretty little head of yours exploding in effort now. Granted, there wouldn't be that much to clean if it did."

"As far as heads exploding go, I think yours might be at higher risk of doing that," Naruko growled and pressed her forehead against Yami's, directing a Look #4 at his eyes. She was seriously considering breaking rule 1 and turning him into a smear on the floor.

"Aniki, Aneki**(5)**, I'm so happy to see you showing such youthful display of familial bonding!" came from the only other person present in the apartment.

"Shut up, Honō!" they both snapped and directed their glares at him, making the green-clad clone yelp and wisely back away.

Yami let out a sigh. This was ridiculous. "Fine, I'll go buy a few books and do some research," he said and headed for the door.

"Oh, you're going to a book store? Can you buy me a book on nutrition?" asked Naruko. "I think it'd be good to know what I should be preparing for Naruto."

"Do I look like an errand boy to you? Just summon one of the Gems," Yami said.

"Oh come on, you're already headed for a bookstore! If you do this I might forget about your earlier comments," Naruko tried giving him a smile and felt her face strain in the effort.

"You mean you haven't already?!" Yami asked in shock. "Your memory's pretty good for a bimbo," he said and had to duck to avoid the kunai. "All right, all right, I'll get you the stupid book. I'll get you a dictionary as well so you won't have to bug me every 5 seconds for the meaning of words. Aren't I such a nice person?" His answer came in the form of another kunai. Not wanting to see if there would be a third, he quickly bolted out of the door.

"He makes me so angry!" Naruko shouted in frustration.

"He's just joking around. We all know you're pretty amazing, Aneki!" Honō said, giving her a thumbs up.

Naruko smiled and traced one of her whisker marks. She was surprised the first time he had called her that, but it did feel really nice being treated like an older sister. The jerkface probably felt the same when Honō called him Aniki. "Come on, I still need to do some dusting of the higher places and you can help lift me up."

"Yosh! I won't disappoint you, Aneki!" Honō pumped his fist in the air. Naruko was really curious to meet this Gai-sensei. She had seen the memories, but a meeting would probably be something else entirely. If the imitation was this exuberant, she really wondered what the original would be like.

By the time Yami was back, they had finished with today's cleaning and Naruko was busy preparing lunch. Luckily for her, Naruto didn't have high expectations so sandwiches were enough for now.

"Here you go," Yami tossed a plastic bag in her direction, which she scrambled to catch.

"Can't you see I'm cooking you jerk?!"

Yami just shrugged and headed for the couch. He registered Honō doing squats in one of the corners and rolled his eyes. No matter how much he told the idiot there was no point and it was just a waste of chakra, his green-clad brother would keep stubbornly doing it.

Naruko opened the plastic bag and looked at the first book. It really was a dictionary which made her frown with annoyance, that changed into determination. She'd show him, she'd learn as many new and big words as she could and teach him no one could antagonize Uzumaki Naruko! She looked at the second book and let out a growl.

Yami had somehow heard the growl and managed to jump behind the couch in time. There was a third one after all. He chanced poking his head out and almost got hit in the face with one of the books he had bought her.

"Hey, what's the big idea!? I spent a lot of hard-earned fake money to buy you these," Yami asked in indignation.

Naruko was stepping towards him with murder in her eyes but stopped right in front of the couch. Her angry scowl morphed into a gentle smile, almost as if some kind of switch was flipped, and she bent down to pick the book. It was a medium-sized book, with a light-blue cover and giant white letters that read "NUTRITION". Someone however had also taken the time to write in red marker "_for bimbos..._" below the title. She stood up, her smile turning a notch sweeter. "You're right, Yami. Thank you for the books. I'll put them to _very_ good use right away," she said, picking her kunai from the couch and heading into the kitchen.

Yami shuddered and sat on the couch again. He knew it wasn't a good idea to antagonize Naruko too much, but it was too damn funny. Besides, her retaliation wouldn't be too severe, at least not in the open world. She would be risking hurting Naruto in the crossfire and he knew well enough to be absolutely certain she would never do something like that. He looked briefly at Honō, who hadn't reacted at all at their exchange and had now moved to doing push-ups, before finally opening his book. Annoyingly, there had only been one book on chakra theory in the bookstore and it wasn't particularly big. That meant he'd have to pass by the library later and he hated the library. It was at the top of the Uzumaki family hate list, alongside the Academy, Mizuki, everyone they knew in Konoha and everyone they didn't know in Konoha. He had taken the liberty to do the last two additions himself.

Banishing those thoughts for now, he started reading. The things in the book were fairly easy to understand and some he already knew from most of the Academy lessons Naruto had ignored. He read in relative peace, ignoring any sounds that came from Honō or the kitchen, until he received a sudden influx of clone memories. He furrowed his brows and wondered what Naruto had needed so many clones for. Before he could actually go through the memories, he heard a loud sound of something breaking in the kitchen.

"Aneki!" Honō shouted and went in the kitchen where he froze in place. Yami left his book on the couch and went to the kitchen as well. When he entered, he saw Naruko had finished with packing the sandwiches, and noticed a shattered plate on the floor.

"Great, now you'll tell me you have a clumsy streak in you as well," he frowned. "Can't you.." Whatever Yami was going to say, it froze in his throat and was swallowed nervously the moment he looked at her face. For the whole of a day that he knew her, Yami had never seen her this angry. And it wasn't for lack of trying.

"That.. little idiot," she let out through clenched teeth and slammed a fist on the kitchen countertop narrowly missing a knife. Yami quickly went through the memories they had just gotten. It must have been something Naruto had done that got her this riled up. His eyes widened and he palmed his face. Indeed, Naruko's description of their Creator was pretty accurate. It was time to evacuate the apartment and find him. Suddenly, Yami wasn't so sure anymore about Naruko not hurting their Creator.

**!~¡**

Naruto looked at the man who was still lying and twitching on the ground and shook his head.

"This is supposed to be an elite tutor?" he asked himself mostly, but still got an answer.

"A lot of people say he's good. And Ebisu-sensei keeps saying he's trained many Hokage candidates," said a boy, who wore a yellow t-shirt with the Konoha symbol in red, grey shorts, a long blue scarf, and a grey helmet on his head. It had a small orange frowning face on the right side, a red circle on the left side, and a hole at the top from where his brown hair was sticking out. The boy who was known as Sarutobi Konohamaru looked at Naruto with his black eyes that held much admiration. "That was so awesome, boss, such a deadly technique!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side, with his usual thinking face on, "But if that guy has really taught so many Hokage candidates, how come your grandpa is still wearing the hat?"

"I.. Uh.." Konohamaru muttered uncertainly.

"I think you've been duped," Naruto said chuckling.

"Bah, all I want is for people to stop seeing my grandfather and acknowledge me for who I am!" Konohamaru yelled.

"It's not that easy, dimwit!" Naruto said and smacked the boy on the back of his head. Huh, somehow it felt nice saying that word, no wonder Yami liked using it. "After all the hard work and everything that's happened.. I still couldn't find anyone like that." Naruto grew silent, before looking at the Hokage monument. It consisted of the faces of the previous Hokage, carved into the mountain overlooking the village. "In the end, I've decided to stop trying and find my own path. If you're going after the Old Man's hat, you should find out first what it means to be Hokage.. And if you're ready to pay the price."

Konohamaru looked surprised at his words. Naruto's mood had suddenly changed from the loud and cheerful demeanor he had been showing until now. He looked down at his feet and for the first time really thought about it. Until now, he had believed it was the strongest ninja in the village that carried the title, hence why he had been trying to defeat his grandpa. He looked at the blond before him and a feeling passed through his mind. "Do you want to be Hokage as well?"

Naruto felt himself frown. Two days ago he would have already shouted his desire to become the leader of the village and get acknowledgement. That was before he had realized what the price for the title really was.

Being Hokage, meant placing the village above everything else. It meant sacrificing your life to protect it and sealing a giant demonic fox into a newborn infant. It meant lying to that child for years, no matter how many times it asked why it was alone and hated. If Naruto did become Hokage, would he do the same thing to another orphan? Hide the truth from a child and let it live in ignorance and the hell of solitude for years? No. His dream of becoming Hokage had died the moment he had asked those questions.

"I did.. For a long time," Naruto finally said. "I wanted it for the same reason you want it, to get acknowledgement. Now, I have something much more important and precious to me that I want to fight for and protect."

"What?" Konohamaru asked.

Naruto chuckled and patted the boy on the head, "It's not what, but who. Maybe I'll introduce you one day. You'll probably understand then."

Konohamaru looked at Naruto with wide eyes. This was a side of the blond he had definitely not expected. At first, he had thought Naruto was like him, he had even thought they would be rivals for the hat. But now, he realized there was a much deeper side to the older boy.

Far away from the training field, at the top floor of the Hokage tower, Hiruzen was sitting at his desk and looking into a crystal ball. It was an old artifact that could focus on a person or an area in Konoha and observe what was happening around them. The old Hokage thoughtfully drew on his pipe and scratched his goatee. He couldn't help but feel saddened at Naruto's words. It looked like the event from two nights ago truly had an impact on the normally boisterous and hyperactive child. It seemed the revelation of the burden he carried had also brought other revelations. In truth, Hiruzen should have expected that, of course the boy wouldn't want to be Hokage now that he knew what the job description included. It really did sadden the old man, hearing Naruto scream his dream had always brought a smile to his face.

He then wondered who Naruto was talking about. Had the boy finally managed to make a friend, to find someone that gave him a chance? He hadn't mentioned anything of the sort earlier, but maybe Hiruzen had lost some of the boy's trust. The old Hokage let out a sigh and slumped back in his chair. His eyes went to the drawer where he kept the picture of Kushina. Maybe he should pay the boy a visit and have a talk with him..

There was a knock on his door and his secretary entered his office. "Hokage-sama, it's time for the meeting with the future jōnin-sensei about the new genin teams," she informed him.

Sarutobi let out another sigh and stood from his chair. He waved at the crystal ball, making the image of Naruto and his grandson disappear and felt a small smile curve on his lips. At least it seemed things had ended well on that front. He picked up a folder from his desk and headed for the meeting room.

Back at the training field, Naruto was waving at Konohamaru. The boy's tutor had finally woken up and they were now leaving, off to do some practice or whatever. Naruto had told Konohamaru to listen to the tutor. Even if there was no such thing as a shortcut to being Hokage, learning new things could be useful, a lesson he himself wished had learned sooner.

"I see you're having fun," he heard a voice and turned around to see Yami and Honō had landed behind him.

"Oh, hey guys! Where's Naruko?" Naruto asked.

Yami snorted and tossed a plastic bag at Naruto. "First, we're going to dispel, so remake us," he said before disappearing in a puff of smoke alongside his green-clad brother.

Naruto felt slightly dizzy at the sudden influx of all the memories and experiences. The last thing he saw was an incredibly angry Naruko. He lifted a brow before re-summoning the two aspects.

"What did you do to make her so angry?" Naruto asked Yami.

"I think you're the reason for Aneki's youthful fury, Creator," said Honō.

"Ugh, Honō, can you please stop calling me that?" Naruto asked.

"But you are our Creator," Honō said.

"I know, I know, but.. it's just weird. Just call me Aniki or something," Naruto said.

Honō thought about it for a moment before saying, "But I already call him Aniki," he pointed at Yami. "Won't it be confusing?"

"Look, call me Naruto then until you think of something. Creator's just weird," Naruto said, receiving a reluctant nod. "Good, now what's this about Naruko being angry at me?"

Yami let out a sigh, "Think about it for a moment, dimwit." After about a minute, Naruto still hadn't made progress, which made Yami pinch the bridge of his nose. How were they still alive even? "Okay, remember what technique you used to beat that tutor pervert?"

"Yeah, it's my new ultimate technique, the Harem no jutsu!" Naruto shouted with pride.

Yami rolled his eyes, "We'll talk about that too in a bit. When you use the Sexy and Harem techniques, who do you turn into?"

"A naked girl?" Naruto asked and Yami nodded. "So? How does that relate to Naruko getting so angry?"

Yami felt like screaming. He couldn't be this clueless, could he? "Which naked girl do you turn into, you moron?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment before his eyes widened. "Wait.. It's not the same as Naruko! Those techniques transform into an older version, like a 17 or 18 year old her!"

"Oh, and I suppose that makes it better?" Yami asked the increasingly paling Naruto. "Let me put it this way, when you used that technique with the Hokage and the "ultimate" version with the tutor pervert, you were basically flashing Naruko's naked body. Even worse, the "ultimate" version flashes _several _copies of Naruko's naked body."

"Oh God," Naruto groaned and grabbed his head. He was so dead. No, he was beyond dead.

"I don't understand why you even have to use those techniques! We are full of youthful energy!" Honō pumped his fist in the air.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with chuckles here. Also that was your fourth time saying that word in my presence, Honō, you have one more before it's lights out," Yami said.

"But that guy was a jōnin! I don't know any super cool jutsu yet. Besides, I wanted to prove he was a pervert," Naruto said.

"Naruto, remember what I told you about thinking properly?" Yami asked.

"Yes, you told me not to do it, unless it's a special case. You said it was safer for everyone that way," Naruto glared at his darker side.

"Well, this is one of those cases. We already know some super cool jutsu," Yami said.

"What? But all I know is the Kage Bunshin no jutsu, Henge no jutsu, Kawarimi no jutsu**(6)**, Oiroke no jutsu and Harem no jutsu! The Henge and Kawarimi are just the standard Academy techniques," Naruto said, purposefully forgetting the dreaded Bunshin no jutsu.

"That's right. How did you beat the tutor pervert earlier? You combined the Sexy technique with your clones," Yami said, hoping to draw Naruto to the answer. Surprisingly, he wasn't disappointed.

"So.. We can combine the Henge and the Kawarimi with shadow clones as well?" Naruto asked a bit confused. How was that super cool?

Yami seemed to pick up on his lack of enthusiasm, "Naruto, battles aren't all about who has the most super cool jutsu. It's a combination of internal and external factors. For example, the first and most important external factor is the terrain. If we can use the terrain for our purposes, we would already be having a large advantage over an opponent. Now, the Henge no jutsu allows us to transforms into other things, which includes inanimate objects, like stones, trees, bushes and even weapons," Yami paused to make sure Naruto was still with him. He noticed he was having Honō's complete attention as well. "So imagine 50 clones, transformed around the battlefield and making sudden surprise attacks at the enemy. That rock he was hiding behind? Suddenly it's a clone, jabbing a kunai at his stomach."

"Whoa.." Naruto's eyes were as wide as saucers at the possibilities. They could create and manipulate the terrain however they wanted with that!

"Pretty cool, right? But that's nothing compared to the next bit. Using the terrain to our advantage is rule number one of battles. But maneuvering around it efficiently is rule number two. What if we could move around almost instantaneously? That's where the Body Replacement technique comes into play - we can literally have our clones switch places several times with us and suddenly end up at the enemy's blind spot! Not only that, but if we do it right, the enemy wouldn't even realize we had switched places!" Yami said excited. He had been thinking a lot about what they could use to their advantage. There weren't many things, but every little bit counted.

Naruto still remained speechless and wide-eyed, so Yami continued, "Suddenly, the basic Academy techniques don't seem that stupid, right?" he chuckled.

"That is so.. awesome! We can have so many special tactics!" Naruto yelled. "Wait, how come other ninja aren't doing these things?"

"Chakra of course. Not everyone has enough to create 50 to 100 clones, while holding several transformations AND doing multiple replacements. However, it's possible for us, because of our special talents," Yami patted his belly. "Imagine when our control improves, we could be confusing and dancing around our enemies until _they_ run out of chakra or the will to fight. At least, that would be the final idea. There are a few problems.."

"Like what?" Naruto asked impatiently.

"For one, speed of execution. Making shadow clones is quick enough, however we still need to focus for a second or two for the transformation. And unfortunately, we haven't fully mastered the Kawarimi. Iruka-sensei has explained that when you became truly proficient with it, you would need only a single hand-seal or no hand-seals at all, just a moment of concentration and chakra application," Yami explained. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not against learning some epic jutsu eventually. But I think first we should master the basics and build a strong foundation."

"Yosh! I'm sure it will take us no time if we let our youthful fires burn strongly!" Honō yelled, receiving a warning look from Yami. This was his fifth time.

"Indeed," the red-eyed clone said. "Which brings us to our second issue. In battle, these kinds of tactics need to be second nature. We would need to have set patterns and plans, because we wouldn't normally have the time to do it while fighting. We're good at thinking on the spot, however these tactics require preparation beforehand."

"Sounds complicated. You're on it then?" Naruto asked.

"Unfortunately, I already have my hands too full with things." Yami said, giving them a pointed look. No doubt there was one reserved for Naruko as well. "I think it'd be best if we had a specific clone for that. Someone to practice maneuvers and formations with clones and focus on preparing plans and tactics for the battlefield."

"Oooh, I get it. Like that Sergeant guy from the Princess Gale movie we saw last year? The one that always abused and yelled at his troops and came up with the super funny plans that always failed?"

Yami's memory went back to the movie and person in question. He felt a snicker rising in his throat, but managed to stop it in time. "Yes, like that one, except we want our plans to succeed."

"Gotcha!" Naruto yelled and formed the cross-shape hand seal.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

A clone appeared in the clearing and waved at him, "Hey Boss, what's up?"

Naruto frowned at him, "Hey! You're just a regular clone!"

"Thanks for making me feel special," the clone rolled his eyes before he got whacked by Yami and disappeared.

"Uh.. It didn't work for some reason," Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Yeaaah, usually when you make personality clones you channel some particular feelings, emotions and thoughts. You barely even concentrated for that one," Yami pointed out.

"Right, so what should I aim for?" Naruto asked.

Yami closed his eyes and thought about it. They needed someone sadistic, a cruel taskmaster to really whip the regular clones into shape and formations. At the same time the clone had to have their ability to think on their feet, while being cold, calculative and level-headed on the battlefield. All of them were loud hotheads, even Yami. So they needed Naruto's calm and serious side.. If it even existed. This was Naruto after all. By the time he had finished with those thoughts, Yami was already making the cross-shape hand sign.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"**

The resulting clone was his, even down to the eyes. But it was still different. It looked at its hands and touched its face, before looking at each one of them.

"Uh Yami.. Did you make one..?" Naruto asked.

"Huh.. Seems like it.. I guess his particular aspect of your personality was in me, hence why I summoned him.. Maybe that's why you didn't summon him the first time," Yami said thoughtfully.

"So what, you can make personality clones too? Is he an aspect of you?" Naruto asked.

"No, you are still the original. You are still my Creator," surprisingly this came from the new addition. His voice sounded really unnatural to the other Uzumaki's. It wasn't a voice you associated with their face. Their regular voice always had a loud or excited quality to it. The new arrival's voice sounded.. calm. Impassive. As if being excited was on some kind of to-do list that was being ignored at the moment.

"Huh.." Yami muttered. "I guess it worked. What's your name?"

The new clone frowned and didn't say anything. He felt himself being patted by Honō.

"Don't worry if you can't think of something at first, my yo-" Yami's warning glare prevented Honō from finishing that word. It was either that or the kunai that had suddenly appeared in his Aniki's hands. "Uh, I mean wonderful younger brother!" Honō would need to look into Naruko's dictionary to find some replacement words. "It took me a while to settle on my name!"

"You can say that again," Yami muttered quietly.

"It took me a while to settle on my name!" Honō said dutifully.

"What..?! That was sarcasm you brain-dead nincompoop!" Yami yelled. He felt last night's headache come back with vengeance. "Let's just eat."

They took out the sandwiches Yami had brought and did just that. "These are pretty good!" Naruto said appreciatively. Honō was already on his second while Yami and the new guy were eating much more calmly.

"At least there's one thing that airhead is useful for," Yami said, taking another bite. They really were pretty good. She had been generous with the materials between the two pieces of bread.

"Hey, she's plenty useful!" Naruto shouted in indignation.

Yami snorted and another thought came on his mind, "Speaking of her, Naruto.. You need to get something to make it up to her for your earlier charade." He caught his confused look and explained "It means absurd actions." Naruto's confusion only increased. "Absurd means illogical or unreasonable. Look, you've done something stupid, all right?! And I've been existing for only two days and there are a lot more things I want us to do! Which would be impossible if she has her way with you."

"What?! But she's Naruko, she wouldn't hurt me like that.. Right?" Naruto asked, hints of uncertainty creeping in his voice.

An image of Naruko popped into everyone's minds, even the new guy's. It was the image of her mental state when Yami and Honō had evacuated from their apartment.

"Crap," Naruto said.

**!~¡**

"Did you get it?" Naruko asked.

The black-haired Gem nodded and gave her a plastic bag. "It's the second hottest on the market, imported from Wind country. It's not even a sauce, but an extract, meant to be distilled with other ingredients."

Naruko opened the plastic bag and took out a small 100ml bottle. "Only this much?" she asked.

"The merchant refused to sell me anymore than this, he said he would get arrested. Hell, when I got this, he made me sign a waiver that he would not be held accountable if anything bad happened. He also made me buy a pair of rubber gloves, a pair of goggles and a pipette as part of the standard package," the Gem explained.

Naruko inspected the bag and indeed all those items were in it. She then turned the bottle and noticed a warning sign.

_WARNING: Make sure to wear gloves and goggles when using! Avoid any and all skin contact! The scent is an irritant that can cause eye swelling and tearing! Do NOT use this as a sauce, only as an ingredient! Do NOT use more than 2ml in any kind of recipes! Make sure to use the pipette to accurately measure the dosage! If you were not sold a pipette, immediately report the merchant for attempting to inflict bodily harm! The company is not liable for anything caused by proper or improper use! If you've read all this and are still considering using this extract, we recommend an immediate visit to a psychiatrist or the nearest police station!_

She couldn't help her wicked chuckle, which made the black-haired Gem withdraw from the crazy girl. She read the name of the sauce "**Flame-tongued sand lizard poison** **sauce** ** extract!** _For people who love spicy and don't like their taste buds!_"

Naruko nodded and looked at the Gem, "Good job, I've put the cup ramen on the table. Eat it and then you're free to do whatever you want until it's time to get dispelled tonight. Just make sure you don't go poof sooner, I want this to be a.. _surprise_," she smiled. "And if Naruto or any of the others find out about my surprise.. Well, let's just say I might find myself in need for a taste-tester and you'd be the first to volunteer."

The Gem swallowed heavily and nodded, showing he understood perfectly. Then he asked, "Um.. Can I go around the village?" He received a shrug. "Can I have some company too?" he asked hesitantly. Naruko thought about it for a second before shrugging again and summoning the other two Gems. It's not like they'd do anymore damage to the village. They should've learnt their lesson from yesterday. Probably.

Humming a very cheerful tune, she went back to her kitchen where she put the rubber gloves and the goggles on. Like the rest of the Uzumaki's, Naruko was not one to pull punches.

**!~¡**

Naruto swallowed the last bite of his third sandwich and suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. He looked around the others and saw they had shared the same feeling.

"Did you guys just feel a sudden chill?" he asked.

"Eh, probably just the wind. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," Yami dismissed it and stood up. "All right, time to get busy. Naruto, you take the new guy shopping for an outfit. We wouldn't want the rest of you confusing me and him too much. Then find the way to fix the mess with Naruko."

Naruto frowned and checked his wallet. He still had plenty of savings, but a new outfit wouldn't be cheap. Maybe he could talk with the owner of Orange World to set up a tab until they started doing missions. That should start from tomorrow anyway.

"Honō, you go and meet with Gai-sensei. See what he can teach us and maybe ask him if he knows any chakra control exercises," Yami instructed.

"Yosh!" Honō saluted and jumped off.

"What about you?" Naruto asked.

"I'll pay a visit to the library. There are some things I need to check on and besides, I forgot my book back at the apartment since I had to leave quick," Yami said, giving Naruto a look that implied it was somehow his fault.

"All right, see you later tonight then." He turned to the silent one, "come on, let's get going," and took off with him in toll.

Yami took off as well. After about ten minutes he reached the shinobi library and went in. The woman at the desk gave him one of those looks and Yami considered flipping her off, but just went on his business. The library was big enough as it was and he needed to find a book on a very specific subject.

After an hour of searching he was having to suppress the urge of torching the place. There were too many books! Well, any amount of books larger than two was considered as too many by the Uzumaki household. Yami paused at that thought.

_"Wait, why do I dislike reading and books? I'm supposed to be Naruto's repressed feelings and desires.. So he never had the desire to read?" _he thought. No, that wasn't right. There was a time when he did want to read.. or to be read to. Until that accident happened. The same one that brought Yami's own existence about.

He stood there for a moment, reminiscing the memory and the feelings. It was time that desire was brought out once again. He made the cross-shaped hand seal.

**"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"** he said as quietly as possible. There was the satisfying puffing noise that revealed a not-so-satisfying surprise. He had indeed summoned a clone. The only problem was it didn't look like him at all, well with the exception of the eyes. It looked the same way as Naruko the first time she had popped. Same long hair tied in pigtails, same whisker marks on the cheeks and same lithe _naked_ body.

The girl clone looked at her hands, then at him, then at herself. Her eyes widened in shock and her mouth opened, no doubt about to let out a huge scream, just like Naruko had done the first time she had been summoned.

**!~¡**

**Bonus: Morning experiments!**

**!~¡**

"So why do we have to do this again?" a very uncomfortable Naruto asked.

"For science, of course. This will help us understand the technique better," Yami said, sitting on the bed and holding a notepad and a pen.

Naruto didn't seem to convinced.

"Come on, this will help with the bimbo's request as well. I don't even know if we'd be able to find a forehead protector in the form of a black choker anywhere in Konoha," Yami said, shaking his head. That girl was really annoying sometimes.

"All right, all right," Naruto said and made the cross-shaped sign. He was dressed in nothing but a towel, wrapped around his waist.

With two puffs Naruko and Honō appeared, also having nothing but a towel wrapped around their bodies. The moment Naruko was present in the real world, she fired a quick slap towards Yami. This time he had been prepared and grabbed it before it left a mark.

"Stop calling me that!" she growled.

"I'm not the one that should get dispelled at the moment," Yami ignored her and slugged her in the stomach, making her disappear. Not wanting to get hit, Honō just dispelled by himself.

"You know she'll retaliate, right?" Naruto asked. "She's probably making a list of all the mean things you do to her to pay you back tonight."

"Eh, I'm not too worried. Last time she caught me by surprise. She won't have the chance this time," Yami shrugged.

"Are you sure? I mean she's in my mind right now, that's a pretty good opportunity to set some things up, if you ask me," Naruto said.

Yami paused in his note-making but just shrugged again. Worrying about it would be useless, he wasn't going to give up on messing with her anytime soon. It was just too damn funny. And it was only fair for her to get some payback. It's what kept it interesting.

"All right, lose the towel and summon them again," Yami said.

Naruto let out a sigh and did just that. This time Naruko and Honō were wearing their birthday suits, just like him.

Yami wrote something again in the notepad, before saying, "All right, now put on your shoes."

Naruto groaned. This was going to take a while. And it did, but the results were interesting. It seemed each piece of his original attire corresponded to a piece of the personality clones' clothing. They also found out the pieces could be manipulated as well, after he had fulfilled Naruko's requests. Indeed, now she had her forehead protector in the form of a black, lacy chocker, with the metal plate bending and surrounding her neck. It was a good concept since it would offer protection as well. Instead of one weapon pouch, she had two smaller ones that were the same orange colour as her apron. However her favourite bit was the black frilly garter around her right leg with several smaller kunai strapped to it.

Unfortunately, for this to work, they needed to get the outfits at first. Naruto and even Yami had tried changing the clothing of some regular clones, to no avail.

"This is amazing," Yami said, rubbing the sides of his head. Of course, he didn't mean Naruko's display of vanity. He looked over the notes he had jotted from all the different experiments. "I can't even understand how this is possible.."

"What?" Naruto asked.

"It's just.. Okay, we already know the way we use the Shadow Clone jutsu is different from the norm. At the same time, what you're doing with the outfits, especially Naruko's additions.. It's basically matter manipulation with the use of chakra! You're creating or transforming something entirely different from the original. Not to mention the first time the outfits were actually real and they disappeared. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt, I probably need to get books on advanced chakra theory and manipulation and.. " Yami caught three blank stares looking at him and sighed. Why was he surrounded by imbeciles? Was it so much to ask for one person who could understand and share his amazement and enthusiasm?

"Oh damn!" Naruto yelled when he saw the time. "I'll have to go take the ninja registration picture soon! I don't even know what face to make! It should be some cool pose for our picture" he panicked and went for the mirror where he started making faces.

"Why not do the "nice-guy" pose, Creator?" Honō offered.

Naruto looked at him strangely before shaking his head. "No, I'm looking for something that's more me, you know."

Naruko suddenly got an idea and smiled mischievously. She went to Naruto and wrapped a hand around his shoulder. "How about we do something really unique? Make the Old Man swallow his pipe in surprise when he sees it."

Naruto's eyes immediately shone with a glint, matching Naruko's. "I'm listening."

"We could use some war-paint and really scare anyone who sees our face. And even better, they wouldn't be able to even recognize it's us," Naruko smiled.

"Yosh! I wish to participate as well in this youthful prank!" Honō shouted.

"Perfect, we can try some things on you and then apply the final product on Naruto," Naruko said and took out the make-up she had bought yesterday. War-paint, make-up, basically the same thing.

Yami thought about saying something against that idea on principal, but in all honesty seeing the Old Hokage swallow his pipe in shock would be really damn funny. It was a shame he wouldn't be there in person, but he would see Naruto's memories, so it was practically the same. In the end, there were some aspects of Naruto they all shared.

**!~¡**

**(1) shinobi **-another term for ninja, in particular belonging to the male species of the human race**(2)**;  
><strong>(2) kunoichi<strong> is the term used for describing female ninja. They had no need for anything as silly as a gut sense, since they were born with something much stronger, called **"woman's intuition"**;  
><strong>(3) -sama<strong> - an honorific used to address someone of very high stature;  
><strong>(4) <strong>Naruto had the knack of doing the improbable, including combining two completely opposite feelings;  
><strong>(5) Aneki<strong> - An Honourable term for an older sister or female superior;  
><strong>(6) Kawarimi no jutsu - <strong>literally means Body Replacement technique; It is a technique where the user replaces his body with a nearby object, generally a conveniently placed and perfectly chopped block of wood, the moment the attack lands. This creates an optical illusion, making the user believe the attack has landed.

**!~¡**

**Author's ramblings: Whaaaaat, a female clone from Yami?! How did that happen?! Well, I'm sure it'll be explained in time.. Probably.. I do have a plot, it's not like I'm just writing this for the funny moments.. Probably..**

**When last chapter went up the story had reached over 100 followers. This chapter went up when there were 100 favourites and over 5k hits. Not to mention, last chapter got over 1k hits on the day it was posted. I'm so happy people are enjoying one of my stories this much. So what should the next stepping stone be with this chapter? 100 reviews? Sounds good, next chapter will be up when that happens.**

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**I joke. I actually had to split this one and the next one because it got too long. So technically next chapter is already written. It will be up tonight at midnight PST or tomorrow at the latest if I decide to do some adjustments. ;)**

**I do have a question for you wonderful readers. A technique I'm using for the story is switching between the different Points of View (POVs) of the characters. For example, last chapter Gai referred to Yami as "the red-eyed clone". That was because from his POV, he didn't know Yami's name yet or that he even was a personality clone. So I'm curious, is it understandable when I switch between the POVs or is it confusing? Do you catch those moments or just read over them? Please let me know!**

**Ta-ta !~**

**!~¡**


	6. Chapter 6: Sergeant Kiyomi

**Author's ramblings: And here's chapter 6. I could've technically posted them one after another, but where's the fun in that. Sorry it's a bit late, had some problems.**

**I already got some reviews from the last one. 0.o Thank you all for the replies on the POV question. Thank you **zolydck**, **Kaiorven**, **DPSS**, **artfrogy**, **More**, **tastybigsexy**, **ice flame dragon**, **idea-getthe**, **dayfox96**, **TazalTerminals**, **KingHoborg**, **Sword'sfunPen'sbetter8P**, **Flavio S**, **dasross**, **Keiren-Kun89**, and **Inheritance1990**! I've decided to add in the responses to this chapter since you peeps were so quick. First, I'll say that the clones from last chapter are the last of Naruto's personality clones. There will only be 6 Naruto sides, including the original. There is an actual reason for that, even more than one. But of course, you'll find them out as the story progresses. ;)**

**zolydck: **Indeed, having too many clones can be an issue. Fret not, my friend! You'll have plenty of time to get to know the last two, since they are the last period. And as for your last statement, we'll be seeing that soon enough.. As in next chapter. **=D**

**Kaiorven: **All of the things you've listed are a possibility. I've said it many times, but the characters write themselves. I have some things planned, but even I get surprised from time to time. Whatever happens should hopefully be absurd, comic, and endearing. This is a family of Naruto clones with sides of his personality after all.

**More: **I'm evil.

**idea-getthe:** Naruto's personality clones? No, all of them are genuine parts of Naruto, created with his chakra.

**TazalTerminals: **Most likely not. I'm trying to show them as having more of a familial relationship.

**DPSS: **You're a perceptive one. You're also right, in a way. However, all the clones have their own personalities and quirks and they are all important in some way. They're also part of the same person, so similarities are normal. Most importantly, they're also there for comic relief. One Naruto by himself is a spell for disaster. Six? **]=D**

**Keiren-Kun89: **In what ways? I mean, aren't they already pretty weird? You have read about Uzumaki Honō, right? I thought I've done pretty well.. I guess I'll have to try harder.

**Inheritance1990: **I was literally about to click [POST] when you wrote that. **XD**

**Enjoy !~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 6: Sergeant Kiyomi**

**!~¡**

Honō jumped down from the tree, finally reaching training ground 27. It wasn't very different from the training ground he had been created at. If you ignored the giant craters, fallen ruptured trees and the large quantity of weapons that littered the ground that is. He saw Gai-sensei talking to three other young ninja, probably his youthful students. One of them was a boy, that practically looked like a miniature version of Gai-sensei. The only differences were the boy's face and eyes were round with prominent bottom eyelashes and his attire had the addition of bandages wrapped around his hands and arms up to his elbows.

The second student was a girl who had chocolate brown eyes and dark brown hair that was tied in a pair of buns with short fringe bangs falling over her forehead, giving her an appearance reminiscent of those cute black and white bears Naruto had seen in the Konoha Zoo. She wore an oriental style sleeveless pink blouse with red trimmings and yellow buttons, a pair of dark green pants, standard open-tipped blue ninja sandals, a weapon pouch tied to her left hip and a kunai holster on her right leg.

The final student was another boy, with long brown hair that reached to his lower back and tied above the end in a very loose pony-tail. He had a black forehead protector around his forehead and wore a white khaki shirt, dark brown shorts, the standard blue sandals, a kunai holster on his right leg, and a weapons pouch on his left hip. Interestingly, he had bandages completely wrapped around his right arm and leg. His most striking feature however were his eyes - they were with white irises and completely pupil-less.

He approached the team, which caught their attention. The girl and the long-haired boy's eyes widened the moment they registered his appearance. The miniature Gai-sensei had a surprised look as well, while Gai-sensei was giving him a confused one.

"Gai-sensei!" Honō yelled with a salute. "I have arrived as per your instructions and I'm ready to begin training!"

"Gai-sensei.." the girl said hesitantly. It seemed like she had trouble swallowing. "W-who is that?"

"You!" Gai-sensei said with a serious expression and paused for a bit. "Have we met?" he asked, making Honō almost fall to the ground.

"You obviously have!" the girl snapped at her sensei. "He's wearing the same bodysuit as you and Lee! You're the only one that gives them around!"

"Oh!" Gai exclaimed in realization, smacking a fist in his open palm. He looked at Honō again, "I see!.. Who were you again?"

"The Leaf's Handsome and Dashing Blond Devil Uzumaki Honō, at your service! We met yesterday during your amazing 500-laps-around-the-village-on-your-hands-exercise! You told me of the power of youth, gave me this awesome bodysuit, and told me to come to this training ground in the early afternoon for training!" Honō fired in one breath.

Gai rubbed his chin. Yes, he did vaguely remember meeting this youngster. He had been wearing orange at the time and had a bunch of clones with him. Wasn't his name different though? Well, it didn't matter. He had a new student filled with youthful energy to train!

"It is good to have you on board, Honō! Meet my precious students and fellow members of team Gai - Konoha's Beautiful Wild Green Beast Rock Lee, Tenten and Hyūga Neji!"

"It is great to meet a fellow student of the Springtime of Youth!" Rock Lee pumped his fist in the air with fire in his eyes. Honō couldn't help but notice he had the same bushy brows as Gai-sensei, only slightly less intense. He also saw Tenten pointing a trembling finger at them with a wide-open mouth, which must've been some sort of weird greeting. As for the other boy, Neji.. Honō lifted a brow, he hadn't thought it was possible, but the quiet boy had become even paler. Honō wondered if he could become even more white, but dismissed it. He was willing to bet his entire Gama-chan that no one could be that pale.

"Since our team practice has concluded, we will now begin our after-team practice! Neji, Tenten! You are welcome to join us as per usual! Honō, Lee! We will start by the two of you having a light spar!" Gai said.

Honō looked down at his feet, "Um Gai-sensei.. I can't really do sparring, I'm just a clone," he said the last bit really quietly.

"What?! Then where is your creator and why is he skipping on youthful training and sending a clone to replace him?!" Gai exclaimed. Skipping on training was a severe offence!

"He had to go help our brother get new clothes since the old ones were no good. But he didn't want to miss out on the training and send me to participate, so I could show him what I learned later. He even wanted to learn a new chakra control exercise," Honō chanced a glance at Gai-sensei after he said that and felt his jaw drop.

Like two waterfalls, tears were streaming from Gai-sensei's closed eyes, while he also held a trembling fist in front of him. "Your Creator's decision to sacrifice his training to help your brother has reignited my youthful energies! It is all right, Honō, you can spar with me and I'll be careful not to hit you! After I see your form, I will show you a chakra control exercise as well! But first, let us run a few laps around the training grounds! I need to burn all this excess energy raging in me!" he yelled and took off running.

Tenten felt tears pooling at her eyes and hid her face in her palms, silently starting to sob.

"What's wrong with her?" Honō asked worried.

"She is shedding tears of joy at your addition as one of Gai-sensei's students, Honō!" Lee explained, "Come! Let us follow Gai-sensei on his warm-up run!" and took off after Gai.

"Yosh!" Honō followed them closely. It seemed crying dramatically was a trait of team Gai.

That little exchange had only served to increase Tenten's sobs. Neji looked uneasily at her and tried patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. "There, there.. Everything will be okay?" he tried. He didn't have any experience at the whole consoling business.

"No, it won't!" Tenten whipped around and grabbed Neji's collar. "Don't you see what's happening?!" She shook him, "Don't you?!"

"Uh.." Neji supplied.

"It's like a virus! The virus of youth! First it was Lee, now this poor boy.. It's just a matter of time, Neji!" she shook him violently again before she let him go, which made him stumble and fall to the ground. He looked up at her with a shocked expression.

"I really should've learned medical jutsu after all. Look at me!" she continued. "Just look! I'm wearing dark green pants! An year ago I didn't even like green! It's getting to me, I can feel the youth eating at my mind!" she screamed clutching her head. Then she remained quiet for a small period of time and wiped her cheeks. "It's just a matter of time.. But I won't let it end like that! If I'm going to go down, then it's going to be on my terms!" She suddenly turned around and ran after the trio.

"Gai-sensei!" she shouted, "please give me one of the green bodysuits!" A cheer filled with excitement was heard from Gai, Lee, and Honō.

It seemed like Honō would've lost that bet. Hyūga Neji could indeed become even paler.

**!~¡**

They had walked in silence for a while now which was grinding on Naruto's gears. He hated silence. But any attempts at a conversation with this clone had ended as soon as they had started. Naruto had asked what outfit would the clone be going for, he had asked if he had thought any new strategies, he had even tried telling a joke. His responses had been "I'm thinking about it.", "We'll see when the time comes.", and just humming on the last one. It was one of his best jokes too**(1)**! Well, he wasn't about to give up yet.

"So what do you think I should do about Naruko? Should I get her something or.." he trailed off.

The clone kept silent for a bit and Naruto was inwardly screaming until he heard him saying, "Why not a plant? Women always get excited about those. Besides, you like plants as well, so by proxy we all do."

"Ooooh! That's a pretty good idea! Thanks!" Naruto grinned at him, but the clone just gave him an impassive look and shrugged.

Silence reigned again. It frustrated Naruto. So far his other aspects had been easy to hit it off with. Naruko had been caring and nice, Yami was a sarcastic asshole, but he still showed emotion and even a bit of warmth when he thought no one paid him attention, and Honō was loud and awesome like him. But this guy.. He was just serious. Calm. Impassive. Naruto didn't even know he had a side like that in him! He was about to snap when the clone did actually make a sound.

"Whoa!" this was the first time Naruto had heard him make any kind of exclamation, so he studied the reason carefully. They had just rounded the corner where the Orange World store was and saw three people standing in front of the store. They were definitely Konoha shinobi, since they had forehead protectors on their heads. They also wore a uniform Naruto had not seen before. It consisted of a dark grey long coat, that had a pair of pockets at the chest and the hips, a buttoned-up collar, and a black belt fastened around the waist, a pair of dark grey pants and a pair of black open-tipped ninja sandals. Their ankles were also wrapped around in white bandages. Two of the shinobi seemed fairly average - one wore his forehead protector as a bandana and had a pair of dark-rimmed glasses, while the other had shoulder-length brown hair with two long bangs at the front that covered his eyes. They were engaged in a conversation, but it was the third man that had caught Naruto's complete attention.

For one, he was over a head taller than the other two which coupled with the black trench-coat he wore, in addition to his attire, gave him a very imposing appearance. Said appearance was further cemented when Naruto looked at his face - it had a rugged look with two large scars carved across it. The man wore his forehead protector like a bandana as well and Naruto noticed his dark eyes looking at him and his clone, with a very calculating expression. Naruto liked to think he wasn't one to be intimidated easily. But he had to give it to the giant, he was _really_ intimidating.

"Badass," he heard coming from the clone. "Come on," the clone said and headed for the store. Naruto followed him, but felt some sort of pressure on him, that only increased the closer he got. It seemed like his clone was feeling it too, but was faring better, which made Naruto frown. Whatever this was, it wouldn't make him back down. He was Uzumaki Naruto and he didn't back away from anything. He held his head high and continued moving with a determined stride. He met the imposing man's gaze again and suddenly felt the pressure disappear and air easier to breath now.

When they reached the entrance, the door opened and a kunoichi went out of the store. She had light-brown pupil-less eyes and straight violet hair that was styled into a short, spiky, fanned-ponytail. Her bangs fell over her forehead, covering her forehead protector, but the Leaf village insignia could still be made out from under them. She wore a long tan overcoat with purple in-seam, that seemed a size or two too big for her and a fitted mesh body suit that went from her neck to her thighs. She also wore a dark orange mini-skirt over it with a dark-blue belt tied around her waist, a pair of standard ninja sandals, completed with pale-grey shin guards. Around her neck she had what looked like a snake fang necklace tied with a cord, instead of the normal chain. She gave a brief look to Naruto and his clone, before turning to the man.

"Shopping done! Let's go get dango!" she said happily.

"Anko," the shinobi with the straight brown hair said, "couldn't you have done your shopping after we got lunch?"

"Hey, my skirt was tattered from the A-rank mission I just came back from! Or did you want me to look like that on purpose, Shimon?" she asked with a glint in her eye.

The man, Shimon, snorted, but it was the one with the glasses that replied, "It's fine, it wasn't a big deal. Dango's on you though, since you did make us wait. It should be nothing with the shiny new pay from the A-rank mission."

"Whaaaaaaat?! You're so mean, Mozuku!" the woman, identified as Anko whined. They started heading away from the store.

"Wait!" they heard from behind them and turned to see the blond with the red eyes had stepped up. "What's your name, Old Man?" he asked looking at the scarred giant.

The question caused the other three ninja to snicker, while the scarred man muttered, "I'm not even thirty yet.. And it's polite to introduce yourself first before asking for other people's names." The second bit was said louder, with a very firm tone.

The red-eyed blond kept quiet for a bit, but finally said, "Uzumaki Naruto, genin of Konoha," pointing at his forehead protector.

The scarred man was quiet for a moment as well, until he gave a nod. "Morino Ibiki, Head of the Torture and Interrogation Force of Konoha." With the introductions done, he held the two blonds with his gaze for a few more seconds, before turning around and going on his way, the other three ninja following behind him.

"Ibiki-san," Shimon was the first to speak, "Why were you leaking your killing intent at that boy like that?"

"Yeah, what gives, Ibiki?! I thought you guys were under attack or something and had to cut my chat short," Anko said in annoyance.

"Maybe if you weren't that busy chatting, I wouldn't have to look for ways to amuse myself," Ibiki said.

"Uzumaki Naruto.. Hey, isn't he the Jinchūriki kid?" Mozuku asked.

"Yep," Ibiki said.

"That was him?!" Anko said surprised. "Wait, which one? And I didn't know he had a twin brother."

"He doesn't," Ibiki replied. "And the blue-eyed one was the real Uzumaki Naruto."

Anko was silent for a moment before her eyes widened in surprise, "That was a clone?! Then why were its eyes different from the original? And how the hell did a genin brat learn the Shadow Clone technique anyway?"

"I have no idea why their eyes were different," Ibiki said. "And as for how he learned it, I was actually going to tell you the story during our lunch, since you were away on your mission when it happened. It's pretty entertaining, especially now that I've seen the kid myself. Uzumaki Naruto.. He's an interesting one."

Back at the store, Naruto had been frowning at the clone. "Hey, you can't be Uzumaki Naruto! I'm the real one," he said.

The clone turned to him, "Of course you are, Boss. But if I gave a different name, they would've suspected something."

"Oh.. Okay," Naruto said, scratching the back of his head. That made sense really. "So have you thought of your name then?"

Instead of answering the clone opened the door to the store, "Come on, let's go in. I think I know what look I'll be going for."

Naruto shrugged and followed him in. They immediately went to the counter, where a middle-aged woman was currently sitting at and reading a magazine.

"Hey, Madame Sachiko!" Naruto greeted cheerfully.

The woman looked at him with a pair of hazel eyes and drew deeply from a long slender and of course, orange cigarette holder. She inhaled the smoke, before giving him a smile in return.

"Hello, my dear!"

Madame Sachiko was a woman of average height with long chocolate brown hair, tied in a bun with a pair of long senbon**(2)** sticking out and two long bangs framing her feminine face. She wore a sleeveless, white oriental qipao**(3)** dress that hugged her slender body and had a huge orange phoenix embroidered at the front. She was a retired jōnin kunoichi of Konoha, from the same generation as the Fourth Hokage, even though she did not look that age at all. Two years ago Naruto had actually asked her how old she was, but Madame Sachiko had only giggled and told him it wasn't polite to ask a woman about her age. From the way she had said it, Naruto had learned his lesson and had decided to never ever ask her that question again.

Madame Sachiko had been thrust in an era of war and blood-shed from the moment she had graduated from the Academy at the age of 9. She had grown in the cold and harsh reality of the ninja world and the final straw for her had been the loss of her husband in the Kyūbi attack almost 13 years ago. She had retired from service, but after overcoming her grief, she had decided she still wanted to contribute to the ninja forces of Konoha.

Her store in essence was a ninja supply store. It offered clothing, weapons, scrolls and many other things, vital to everyday ninja life, with the addition of offering all those things in orange. It had been almost three years ago that Uzumaki Naruto had first stepped into her store. Being from the same generation as his parents, she knew exactly what and _who_ he was, yet she couldn't have helped her wariness at the beginning. The memory of her late husband still came back to haunt her from time to time.

The boy had asked her for the orange tracksuit that had been on display at the time. She had pointed out it would be too big for him, however the boy stubbornly insisted on it. He told her he loved the colour because it looked so warm and wearing it would feel the same as being wrapped in warmth. Madame Sachiko had laughed then. It had been the same reason she loved the colour and insisted on selling articles and accessories that had it. Even if orange wasn't a very ninja colour.

From that day, Naruto had been one of the "dear's" and "darling's" that shopped at her store. To Madame Sachiko, all ninja and ninja wannabes of the Leaf were a "dear" and a "darling".

"So what can I do for you today? Here to dress up another clone?" she eyed the red-eyed clone.

"I.. Uh.." Naruto stammered, not sure what to say.

Madame Sachiko just laughed and waved it off, "Don't bother with the explanations, darling. I'm used to having eccentric clientele. Between the two of us, all ninja are weirdoes in some way and some of the things I've seen.. Well, a girl should keep some secrets," she winked. "If you want to dress your clones differently and give them names, then I'm happy to have your business, as long as you're paying with real money of course," she said with a knowing glint in her eye. She hadn't been a jōnin in name only after all.

"The thought wouldn't even cross my mind, Madame Sachiko!" Naruto said adamantly.

Madame Sachiko let out another laugh while looking upwards, before drawing again from her cigarette. Her laugh was the type that wanted to show the amusement it contained to the entire world if possible. "Of course not dear, I know you would never try to cheat me," she winked again. "Now does your latest clone have anything in mind?" she turned to said clone waving her hands around her store and merchandise. "If you're looking for bodysuits like the one your brother wore yesterday, I'm happy to inform you I have the same style in orange. Honestly, I can't comprehend why he insisted on that dreadful green colour. At least the leg warmers he picked improved things, if only slightly," she said appalled.

"Actually, Madame Sachiko, I do have something in mind. I'm looking for something along the lines of the uniform of the Torture and Interrogation Force," the clone said.

"Oh? And how close do you want it to the real thing?" Madame Sachiko asked.

"As close as possible. Including the colour," the clone replied, much to Naruto's surprise.

Madame Sachiko hummed and drew again from her cigarette holder. She blew the smoke and the boys saw how it started changing shape. Some people liked making circles with the smoke of their cigarettes or pipes. Madame Sachiko was a fan of shuriken. The small smoke construct flew across the store, drawing their eyes until it reached the far wall and dissipated. When they turned back, Madame Sachiko had disappeared.

"That was pretty awesome." It was a sentence meant to be said with enthusiasm and wonder. However, the clone had said it like a casual observation, as if saying "Oh, today's Wednesday."

"Yeah.. Wish I knew how to do that," Naruto said.

"You're too young to be smoking yet, darling," they heard the voice of Madame Sachiko from behind and turned around to see her holding a neatly folded uniform with a pair of sandals on top of it. Only the officially requisitioned quartermaster stores sold these. But Madame Sachiko's store was one of the unofficial ones. "Try this one, I think the size should be about right. If not I'll help out with adjustments."

About 20 minutes of proper fitting later and the clone was looking at himself at a large mirror in his new attire. He had even tied his forehead protector into a bandana, with a few blond locks sticking out from below it. "Hmm.. It's missing something," he said.

"Damn right it is, there's no orange!" Naruto said in dismay and received another hum from the clone.

"How about this?" Madame Sachiko said. She had felt the killing intent earlier as well and took a pretty good guess who this clone was trying to emulate. She was offering him a trench coat. The clone put it on and looked himself in the mirror again.

"Damn, that's pretty sweet! Maybe I should get one as well," Naruto said.

"Sorry darling, it's the only one I have," said Madame Sachiko.

"Damn it! Why do my clones always get the coolest stuff!" Naruto yelled in exasperation, making Madame Sachiko grace them with another one of her laughs.

The clone had to admit, the trench coat did look pretty sweet. It wasn't the same as Ibiki's, since for one, it was in a dark orange colour. It also had short sleeves and black flames painted at their edges and the bottom. At the back, the same red swirl as on the back of Naruto's jacket was embroidered. The finishing touch was a thin-black rope that enclosed it at the front. He didn't share the same obsession on orange as the other members of the Uzumaki household or Madame Sachiko, but it definitely looked badass, which was what he was going for. Of course, some finishing touches were needed, but overall, "This is perfect."

"Indeed, it looks pretty good on you, dear," Madame Sachiko said and pulled from her cigarette holder again. She inwardly wondered what people's reactions would be when they saw this clone. It certainly was a splitting image. Perhaps it would cause quite a number of heart attacks? Her only hopes were none of her customers were the victim of those heart attacks.

Naruto just grumbled about "unfair life" and "stupid clones" before looking worriedly into Gama-chan. "Um.. Madame Sachiko.."

"Yes, darling?" she turned to look at him.

"I uh.. I was wondering if I could set a tab or pay a portion of those for now and then pay the rest later? I have the money now, but.. It's just going to be for a short period of time, I'll be starting missions from tomorrow, I promise!" he said.

Madame Sachiko drew from her cigarette holder again and blew the smoke towards the ceiling with a thoughtful look. Finally, she patted Naruto on the head, "Tell you what darling, how about you pay me in installments?"

"Installments?" Naruto asked confused.

"That means in portions, dear. Let me do some calculations," she said and went to the counter, taking out a notebook.

"Can we get this as well?" asked the clone, holding a small orange scabbard with a black serpent engraved on it, and unsheathing a double-edged tantō**(4)** with an orange handle and small black guard. The blade itself had the same engraving as the scabbard, only much smaller.

"A sword?!" Naruto frowned. He wasn't really into those. "What do you want that for?"

"It looks cool?" the clone offered.

"We don't even know how to wield one!" Naruto protested. Swords were pretty expensive usually and it really wasn't his style. He preferred pummeling people with his fists, up close and personal.

"Boss, think about it for a moment. Try to imagine twenty clones wielding this and charging at the enemy," the clone tried to make his case.

Naruto did that. An image of twenty copies of him did in fact pop in his mind, all wielding the blade and running towards an enemy ninja. He then saw the clones hacking and slashing wildly, hitting each other in the most clumsy display possible. He described that.

"Right?!" the clone showed something that could be identified as giddy excitement for the first time since he'd been made. "Freaking hilarious!" he laughed evilly at the prospect of other regular clones getting hurt.

"Ah, I see you've found "Little Serpent"." Madame Sachiko moved close and took the blade from the clone's hand. She traced the small engraving with a finger, another thoughtful look on her slender face. Not many noticed it, but the serpent had a pair of horns on its head, right where the eyes were.

"It's beautiful," the clone said.

"Indeed, my dear. How about I make you a discount? As congratulations for making genin," Madame Sachiko offered, looking at Naruto.

"Huh? Really?!" Naruto asked in surprise. That could fall along the lines of a gift, which meant he had received two in two days! A new record for him.

Madame Sachiko only drew again, practically finishing her cigarette. She took the scabbard from the clone and sheathed the blade, before swooping back to the counter. She placed the scabbard down and after lighting another cigarette, continued jotting some notes.

"We should get some more stuff," the clone whispered to Naruto.

"What?! What more do you want? And why are we whispering?" he asked.

"Just standard stuff, kunai, shuriken, ninja wire, sealing scrolls, explosive notes," the clone listed.

"I already have all of those," Naruto patted his pouch.

"Yeah, about 20 shuriken, 10 kunai, 1 fūma shuriken**(5)**, 2 rolls of ninja wire, 3 scrolls, 3 flash bombs and 4 explosive notes. I'm thinking more along the lines of adding a zero behind those numbers," the clone whispered and quickly put a hand over Naruto's mouth, to prevent the inevitable exclamation. "Think about it, Boss. You supply all of us, so if you have such an arsenal, all of your clones will as well. Just imagine what we could do with a few clones armed with 40 explosive notes. We'd be able to punch through every line!"

"What are you planning on doing, fighting armies?" Naruto asked in bewilderment.

The clone just shrugged, "We never know what mess we might end up in. We do have a knack for creating them."

Naruto imagined himself, Yami, Naruko, Honō and the new guy in one room. He immediately agreed with that statement. Hell, even by himself it would've already turned into some disaster. He'd have made sure of it.

"All right, fine, but not from here. For something like that we'd have to use your money and I don't want to do that to Madame Sachiko. Even if I hate shopping elsewhere.." Naruto whispered.

"Fair enough," the clone shrugged uncaringly.

"All right, darlings! I think you'll like the payment plan I have to offer," Madame Sachiko said and showed them her notebook when they went to the counter. "I don't know the rates of D-rank missions these days, but you should be able to pay me back after 10 or so of those."

Naruto's eyes widened at the price. In truth he'd be able to pay it all immediately, even if he'd end up completely dry. He did not expect it to be this cheap.

"Wha.. Are you sure?" he asked.

"Of course," Madame Sachiko waved him off. "I was having trouble selling the "Little Serpent" anyway. People just don't like the orange or the name for whatever reason. I'll never understand them," she shook her head and let out another smoky shuriken at the ceiling. "Here's your tantō and here's the harness for it. Comes standard."

"Thank you so much! I'll pay you back as soon as I start missions, I promise!" Naruto shouted in excitement.

Madame Sachiko just waved him off again. "Run along now darlings, I'm sure you have places to be, things to buy. Oh, if I may suggest the "Takahashi Weapons Store" in the centre of Konoha. They're having something called a "Graduation sale" on all of their kunai and shuriken at the moment," she said with a knowing glint.

Naruto froze and turned his increasingly pale face to her. "Y-you.. heard us?" he swallowed nervously.

"Whatever do you mean?" Sachiko asked in over-exaggerated shock. "I'm just encouraging some competition on the market by offering you to go and spend your _hard-earned_ money at one of my hated competitors' stores." That same knowing glint never left her eyes, if anything it only grew in intensity.

Naruto felt all the tension disappear from his shoulders and started laughing. "You're awesome, Madame Sachiko! Thanks for everything, I'll see you in a few days to make the first payment!"

The boys could hear Madame Sachiko's laughter even when they were outside the store.

**!~¡**

Somehow Yami had managed to act fast enough to prevent the imminent scream. He put his hand over the girl-clone's mouth and pressed her body hard against the bookcase.

"Calm down! This is a library, we don't want to draw attention!" He whispered in a way that sent a point across. Her eyes were still wide and he could see tears pooling at the edges. "Look, calm down and remember who the creator of the technique is. There's nothing I haven't seen, all right? I'm also the one that summoned you, so there's nothing to be worried about. And I don't even know why you turned out female."

That seemed to have worked, since the girl-clone visibly calmed down. Seeing that Yami took his hand away from her face.

"Sorry," she said in a feminine voice. It sounded like Naruko's, yet it was different, as if more uncertain. "I got caught in the moment, I was just surprised."

"You and me both," Yami said and looked around. No one was around them, thankfully. They were in a very compromising position after all. The last thing he needed was for someone to see Naruto holding a naked blond girl in the library. He quickly stepped away from her and took off his jacket. "Quick, put this on."

She didn't wait for a second invitation and immediately did that. Thankfully, she had the same lithe body as Naruko, so the jacket actually reached her thighs, covering her modesty.

He looked her over again. "How come you're a girl? And I summoned you directly like this too.."

"Maybe.." she said hesitantly, "maybe it's because of the feelings you had?"

"My feelings?" he frowned.

"You know.. You were reliving the exact memory and desire," she said quietly.

Yami seemed to realize it. "Oh.."

"Sorry.." she said.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asked her.

"I.. I don't know.." she stammered. "For almost making a mess?" she offered.

He snorted and looked away. "It's fine, we avoided it."

There was silence that followed. They couldn't call it awkward exactly, but it was still tense.

He was the first to break it, "Come on, we should go get you some proper clothes." He started moving away, but noticed she didn't follow him. He turned to her and lifted an eyebrow.

"I.. I can't run or jump like this," she muttered quietly, looking away and her face turning red.

"Oh.. Right." He rubbed the back of his head. Why couldn't things be easy for once? Oh well, in the end her modesty was more important than his.. Or Naruto's technically. She also practically had Naruko's body and the airhead was already enraged enough as it was. He took off his pants and gave them to her, leaving himself in only a t-shirt and his boxers.

"Sorry," she said again and put them on. They barely clung to her, but she tightened the belt as much as she could. This would hold her at least for now.

"It's fine. Stop apologizing," he dismissed.

"Right, sor.." she almost apologized again, but stopped herself in time.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's sneak out of here."

They did manage to get over that hurdle without being seen, but came across another one immediately - what to do now? They couldn't go home, since Naruko was probably still in less than favourable mood. They couldn't go to a regular store, since he hated them. Oh and because he wasn't really dressed properly either. Which left only one place.. That happened to be on the other side of the village.

"Come on, we should go," he said and jumped to the roofs with her following him closely. There wasn't any obstruction on the way, although they did meet a few other ninja who gave them strange looks. They did their best to ignore them and thankfully after 10 minutes they were at their destination. They landed in front of the door and immediately entered, a distinct chiming noise being heard.

Madame Sachiko looked up from her magazine and surprise immediately settled on her face. "You're back? And what happened to your clothes, it's barely been thirty minutes!" she said.

"Huh?" Yami gave her a confused look of his own.

Madame Sachiko looked him over again and got the feeling that this was a different clone of Naruto's, not the one from earlier. She furrowed her brows, trying to remember the name, "You're Yami, aren't you?" Her question clearly surprised him and he immediately became guarded. Madame Sachiko let out one of her laughs, "There's nothing to be worried about, darling! I told Naruto the same thing when he came by earlier with your copy as well - if you want to have different outfits and have your own names, then I'm more than happy to provide you with my wares, for the right price of course. Paid in real money," she winked at him. Then she looked at the girl-clone "Now, I can guess that young lady is wearing her birthday suit under your tracksuit. Makes me wonder why you two didn't use a henge until you at least came here, but it doesn't matter." Yami palmed his face so hard he almost dispelled himself. He had been so caught in the moment, he hadn't even considered that. He must've been infected with Naruto's, Naruko's and Honō's stupidity. "You've come to the right place, follow me dear, I have a large selection of female clothing. Whoever said a kunoichi can't be both fashionable and deadly," she swooped in, taking the girl-clone's hand and leading her further into the store.

Yami still felt wary at Madame Sachiko's discovery about them, but at the same time relaxed a bit. At this point it was inevitable and from her words, he guessed Naruto and the new guy had already been here and finished with their shopping. He wondered what they were doing now, but either way if there had been a problem, Naruto would've found a way to inform him. He looked around the store and spotted the armchair in the corner next to the counter. Might as well make himself comfortable, since this was probably going to take a while.

"Oh yes, this skirt is the preferred attire of one of the top kunoichi of Konoha! I can guarantee its practicality and protection one hundred percent! I recommend a longer one, since hers may be a tad too short for you," the voice of Madame Sachiko was heard and Yami groaned as he sat down. A really long while.

By the time the girl-clone was done, he had actually fallen asleep, even snoring a bit as his head rested on the armchair. She turned around looking herself one more time in the big mirror in the dressing room. She had settled on a white blouse with the top few buttons undone and had chosen to drape an orange cardigan that had the same red swirl as Naruto and Yami's jacket on the back over her shoulders. She had indeed picked the orange mini-skirt, although hers was longer than the one the supposed kunoichi apparently wore and a different kind - it was bell-shaped and pleated, wrapping around her waist and hips tightly. She would definitely wear her forehead protector with black cloth and like a belt when she got it. Underneath it she wore a mesh open-toed pantyhose with a pair of standard black ninja sandals. On her face she had a pair of orange-rimmed rectangular glasses and so far her only problem was the hair. She had let it out from the pigtails and was contemplating cutting it short.

"You look wonderful, dear," she heard Madame Sachiko's voice and turned around to see her having a thoughtful look while sucking on her cigarette holder. After letting out the smoke, she continued, "why don't you put your hair in a bun? It would definitely complete the look."

The girl-clone turned back at the mirror and considered it. A bun sounded pretty nice actually, although she wasn't sure what look Madame Sachiko had in mind. There was only one problem. "I don't know how to make it into a bun," she said.

"Ah, then allow me to show you, dear. Buns can actually be useful, especially on the field. I used to hide senbon in mine while I was still active," Madame Sachiko said and let her long hair down. The girl-clone could see the glint of metal in the chocolate locks, which evidently meant she still did that. "I can even show you how to do that as well, if you'd like. I'm using chakra at the moment to stick the senbon to my hair, which might be a bit too advanced for you. But there are other ways to hide them in your bun. I think they would be well hidden too in your wonderful golden hair."

The next few hours were spent learning various ways to tie a bun and how to safely put senbon in it. Sometimes enemies liked to grab a kunoichi's hair and use it as an advantage in a fight. If anyone tried that with the girl-clone, they'd be in for a nasty and pointy surprise. In the end she had opted for the same style bun Madame Sachiko wore her hair in usually, with the two long senbon sticking out. When it was time to wake Yami up, it had already started getting dark.

"Muh.. Wha?" he said groggily and opened his eyes. He looked around, noting the time and wondered how long he'd been asleep for. He actually felt.. pretty good. Maybe he should take naps more often. Wait, could they actually help reduce the mental fatigue Naruto received in the end as well? Definitely something to think about. He would think on it later since he realized someone was talking to him.

"Sorry, what? he asked again, wiping at his eyes.

"I said I was done and ready to leave," the girl-clone told him.

"Oh," he said and stood up, stretching his arms and his back. He really felt much better. The last few days had been hectic. He looked her over and lifted a brow. She looked really good actually. He noticed she was carrying two packs of senbon. He wondered about that and the glasses for a bit, but shrugged it off. Everyone of them had different tastes he supposed. Except for Honō, he didn't have any to begin with. He wondered what the other new clone looked like.

He turned to Madame Sachiko, "Right.. Uh about the payment.."

"Not to worry dear, I know you don't have real money on you," she waved him off. "I'll just add it to the tab Naruto set up earlier."

Yami frowned at her. "Why are you being like that?" he asked her, surprising the two females currently in the store.

"Like what?" Madame Sachiko asked.

"You know what we are. How come you're being different than the others? You've always been different towards him," Yami said.

Madame Sachiko drew from her cigarette holder before answering, "And what are you exactly? Every person sees different things. What I see is a 12 year old boy that just became a ninja of the Village Hidden in the Leaves who likes to interact with his clones."

"We'll turn 13 in a few months," Yami interrupted her.

Madame Sachiko simply nodded, "Right, on the 10th of October. I met Naruto for the first time on that date. Back then I saw a 10 year old boy that loved the colour orange and longed for warmth so much he wanted to wrap himself in it." She paused for a bit, "What should I be seeing now?"

Yami frowned even more. "I hate this village and its people."

Madame Sachiko made a smoke shuriken that headed for the ceiling. "You're not the only one or the first. This village has been through many wars and attacks, at the hands of people that have hated it. Konoha isn't filled with saints."

"What if I told you I hated you as well." Yami said.

"Yami!" came from the girl-clone. But Madame Sachiko smiled. She sat behind the counter and took a long draw from her cigarette holder and said, "That my darling, is entirely up to you. That forehead protector you're wearing means the village considers you an adult and as one you are free to make your choices.. and face their consequences." She looked through the window thoughtfully, "my choice is to treat you no different from my other customers. What you do from then on.." she trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

The silence was broken by the girl-clone who bowed deeply to her, "I'm sorry, Madame Sachiko. I appreciate and am very grateful for your assistance."

"Don't worry, my dear. From all my interactions with you clones, I can tell you're all different sides of him. I can guess which one he is," she winked at Yami, who snorted and looked away, locking his arms at his chest. "Now then," she jotted something on a piece of paper and handed it over to her, "just give this to Naruto when you see him. It's the adjustment to his payment plan."

"Thank you, Madame Sachiko, I will," the girl clone bowed again and headed for the door, followed by Yami. She went out of the store, but he stood at the exit, still holding the door. There was a tiny voice in his head, screaming at him. Yami knew better than to listen to those, but the problem was the tiny voice wouldn't be so tiny or single for that matter when Naruto and Naruko learned of what had happened here. He moved a hand through his hair and turned to Madame Sachiko.

"I.. I don't really hate you." His response came in the form of a hum and a nod of the head. He took a deep breath and said the next bit, trying his best not to feel.. well anything. "Thank you."

This time he received a smile and Madame Sachiko said, "Anytime, darling."

He hastily turned and left the door. "Shut up," he told the girl clone and started walking at a quick pace. "Let's go home, it's getting late anyway." Surprisingly, today wasn't a complete waste. He went over it, doing his best to ignore whatever feelings were currently fighting in his chest. By the time they reached their apartment building, he had calmed down and was back to his wonderful hateful self. He noticed two other blond heads approaching from the distance and decided to wait for them. He noted the new clone's appearance and also saw Naruto was wearing a backpack and what looked like a sword sticking from his right shoulder.

Naruto tugged the tantō again. He had put the harness on, it was black in colour and ran across his chest, fastening over both his shoulders.

"I still can't get used to this," he said.

"It'll come in time Boss."

"Did we have to buy so many things?" he readjusted the backpack a bit.

"The sales were pretty good. They were practically giving stuff away," the clone said. Of course, they had used a henge while they had shopped. No need for people to recognize them.

"Why did you insist on the cigars? We're too young to be smoking, besides, it's bad for the health," Naruto said.

"Trust me, Boss, it's well worth it. Besides you won't smoke, just keep them on you and summon me with them. That way no matter how much I smoke, they'll never deplete. And I'm a clone, they won't really harm me," the clone explained.

"All right, all right. Thanks for helping with picking a plant," he said. It was in a pot carried by the clone.

"No problem, Boss. It's in all of our best interests that you remain alive and well," the clone shrugged.

Naruto was about to say something else when he noticed Yami and.. Naruko? She was dressed differently. And had different eyes. Yami's eyes.

"You summoned another one?" he asked Yami when they got closer.

"At the library, she'll be in charge of reading," Yami said.

Naruto frowned in distaste and looked at the girl-clone. She returned his look, although more timidly. She handed him a small note, saying in a quiet voice, "Good evening, Creator. Madame Sachiko told me to give you this."

Naruto groaned and took the paper, "Please, don't be so polite, it makes my skin crawl. I almost went insane with him today," he motioned at the clone next to him, who just gave him an impassive look. "And please don't call me Creator, it's really weird."

The girl clone looked away and blushed slightly. "Can.. Can I call you Naruto-niisan**(6)**?" she asked.

Naruto's brows shot up. Gods, she was so cute! He had always wanted a little sister! "Definitely!" he gave her a huge grin, which she returned, albeit considerably smaller.

There was a loud thump next to them, courtesy of one Uzumaki Honō. "Evening my yo.. wonderful family!" he shouted, pumping a fist in the air. He then noticed the girl-clone. "I see we have a new addition! Hello, I'm the Leaf's Handsome and Dashing Blond Devil Uzumaki Honō! I'll protect you with my life!" he gave her a thumbs-up and a pinging smile, that had increased in shine, no doubt from spending time with Gai.

"She already knows who you are, nincompoop. Stop shouting!" Yami snapped. And he had been feeling so well after that nap. He hadn't even seen the bimbo yet.

"And what is our dazzling new flower's name?" Honō asked, ignoring Yami.

"Um.." she chewed her lip nervously. Even if Naruto-niisan was the Creator, it was Yami-niisan that had summoned her technically. She wanted to honour that in a way, like Naruko-nēsan**(7)** had done. "I.. I think I like the name Kiyomi**(8)**."

Yami looked at her surprised but quickly masked it with a snort. Naruto ooh-ed loudly and the new guy gave her a calculating look. Honō was the loudest in his reaction, "Such a wonderful name! It definitely suits you perfectly, Kiyomi!"

"I've chosen a name as well," the new guy said. "I'd like to be called Sarge." He made a dramatic pause before looking at them. Naruto, Honō and Kiyomi were giving him confused looks while Yami had lifted an eyebrow. "Short from Sergeant," he elaborated. There was a collection of ooh's now that they understood it.

"Sweet! Now let's get dinner!" Naruto yelled happily.

"Before dinner," Sarge said, "you should take care of things. Here," he gave him the bag that had the potted plant in it.

"Can't you hold it for a bit longer? I'm the one carrying the backpack here!" Naruto said annoyed.

"It'll be better if you hold it," Sarge said.

"Yosh! Let me help you, Head!" Honō said.

Everyone turned to him. "Head?" Naruto asked as Honō was taking the backpack from him and putting it on his own back.

"That's right! I've decided that's an appropriate way to address you, since you're the Head of our family!" Honō explained with enthusiasm.

"Oh, that sounds pretty cool actually!" Naruto said while climbing the stairs.

"With him as our Head, there's a good chance our family will become headless in no time," Yami muttered in a way that everyone heard him.

"Hey!" Naruto shouted. He opened the door to their apartment and entered, followed by everyone. They took off their shoes and went to the living room, where their eyes widened. Naruko was sitting on the couch and reading what looked to be a book on Nutrition.. for bimbos apparently. But it was the dining table that had caused their reaction. It was arranged and decorated with many different dishes.

"That's amazing!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Of course, that's what I'm here for. To be used for cooking, cleaning and.. other things," she said, closing her book and standing up. Naruko's assault had began and she was using the first weapon in her arsenal - guilt tripping. It worked flawlessly, since Naruto suddenly felt incredibly guilty. Not only for using the Sexy and Harem techniques, but also because despite that she had stayed home and still prepared this wonderful dinner for them. "Let me get two additional plates," she said and went in the kitchen. Naruto and the others went to the table and he noticed with the additional ones there'd only be five plates.

"Uh.. Naruko," Naruto said when she came back, "where's your plate?"

"Oh, what do you mean? Servant girls shouldn't eat at the main table," she placed the plates down and ran a hand through her right pigtail. "Please enjoy and let me know if there is anything else you would need," she said and headed for the kitchen.

Naruto felt really uncomfortable. "Uhm.. Sit without me guys," he said and went after her. "Wait Naruko, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Whatever for? Is something not to your liking?" she asked him, avoiding his look. Time to deploy weapon number two - pretending not to know what he wanted and that everything was fine.

"No, it's just.." Naruto hesitated for a moment and grabbed her hand. Surprisingly, she didn't react to that, like pulling away or ripping his arm off. "Can we talk? Please?" He didn't get a response, so he led her to the bedroom.

The others, being parts of Naruto and naturally sharing his curiosity did their best to try and hear what was being said. It was quiet for a while, so they went back to the living room and looked at the table.

"Well, let's dig in," Yami was the first to speak and sat down.

"Shouldn't we wait for them?" Honō asked.

"Naruto said to start without him," Yami shrugged.

"Um.. He said to sit without him," Kyomi pointed out quietly.

"Well, I have the feeling this might be our last meal, so might as well make use of it." Yami said and put some salad on his plate. "I'm sure Naruto or the airhead wouldn't mind."

The others looked at each other and did the same. Honō was the first to say something after they started eating.

"This salad is amazing! I can feel it sparking a loud roaring fire in my soul!"

Meanwhile, Naruto had successfully led Naruko to the bedroom and managed to keep all his limbs intact. She was now sitting on the bed and looking at her nails, deploying weapon number three - ignoring.

Naruto didn't know how to start which made the silence grow thicker. He swallowed and rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm.. Sorry about what I did. Earlier today, when I used the Sexy technique and the Harem technique," he said. He didn't receive a response or even an acknowledgement from Naruko, who just kept looking at her nails thoughtfully.

"I uh.." Naruto tried again, "I got this for you," he opened the bag and took out the potted plant. "It's an ivy." He offered it to her, but she still did not even look at him so he placed it on the bed next to her. He felt his chest clench. He hated when someone ignored him and this was worse because it was coming from Naruko. He really had screwed royally.

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" she said suddenly, looking at the plant.

"No! I mean yes! I mean.." Naruto paused and took a deep breath, "it's just something to show I really do appreciate you and care for you."

There was no response again and silence reigned. Naruto swallowed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm still getting used to this. To all of you. I was alone until two days ago, I've been alone for so long.. I didn't consider the consequences, that what I was doing would impact you. It's not an excuse, I'm just.. still getting used to having someone. And I don't want to lose any one of those someone's."

He was quiet for a moment again and continued, "You're not just a cooking or cleaning or a servant girl. I know that was the idea when I summoned you, but I don't think of you like that. Honestly, I'd be happy even if you didn't do that anymore, because.. you're family."

This situation would probably seem insane to anyone in the village. And it was insane. He was talking to a transformed clone of himself, that had an aspect of his personality. In the other room, there were four more such clones. Yet that didn't faze him at all. Out of the almost 13 years he had lived in the village, no one had really done anything to prevent that, no matter how much he tried. So now, this was his world, these five different clones, five different personalities were his people. He accepted the hand he'd been dealt by Destiny, Fate or whatever and made the most of it, which was a Family.

He felt Naruko stand up and wrap him in a hug. Unfortunately for her, he had deployed one of his own weapons - plain and simple honesty. She was still angry at him, but it wasn't the same raging inferno that she had been feeling earlier at the fact that he had forgotten about her. The anger felt more like a distant memory now, as if the reason for even being angry had evaporated. She understood him. All too well.

No words were needed. She forgave him and he knew it. But he felt he still needed to say the next bit, "I promise I won't use the Sexy or Harem techniques anymore."

Naruko's eyes shot open and she backed up a bit, "Whoa now! Let's not do anything hasty!"

"What?" Naruto asked surprised.

"Those are pretty effective techniques. The pervert tutor's face was priceless. And the Hokage even fell off his chair, that was really funny!" she said.

"But.. You were angry.." Naruto stammered. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore.

"Of course I was, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't use such effective and deadly techniques anymore. You just need to change the appearance, so it doesn't look like me.. or the new girl I suppose. We could even improve it!"

"Oooh, I like that idea! And her name is Kyomi and the new guy is Sarge."

The moment he said their names they heard a clatter and loud groaning from the living room. Naruko paled, "Oh no!"

"What?" Naruto asked confused.

"Well.. I was really angry at you. I mean like.. Super angry. So angry I may have wanted to inflict long lasting bodily harm even," she said, looking a bit uncomfortable, while Naruto paled and gulped loudly. He had really dodged a fūma shuriken there, "so I may have bought one of the hottest sauces in the Elemental Nations and I uh.. May have prepared one or two of the dishes with it.."

"What?!" Naruto asked bewildered and they heard another clatter. They quickly went to the living room and faced an incredible sight. Well, not that incredible, but definitely incredibly funny. All of them were red-faced. Honō was doing squats and jumps at the same time. Kiyomi had tears streaming down her face and was vigorously fanning at her mouth with her hands. Sarge looked like he had passed out in his plate. And Yami was lying on the ground and clutching his stomach, while groaning loudly.

"Naruko, your meals have positively sparked the youthful flames in me!" Honō yelled while doing another jump.

"It's not youthful flames you brain-dead moron, she spiked the food with something!" Yami yelled.

"What should we do?" Naruto asked Naruko.

"Oh, I bought some ice-cream, I thought it would help out. Of course I was going to let you agonize for a while before I offered it." At that moment Naruto promised himself to try and avoid doing anything that would piss off Naruko like that ever again. It was a promise of a lifetime. A very long lifetime, hopefully.

**!~¡**

Ibiki finished the report of the interrogation of the Iwa**(9)** missing-nin Anko had brought in from her A-rank mission. He put it in the folder and set it aside to be delivered tomorrow morning. He looked through the window and saw it had already gotten pretty late. In fact the only light came from the lamp on his desk and he could tell he was the only one still there from the Torture and Interrogation Force.

For some reason his thoughts went back to Uzumaki Naruto and the red-eyed clone he had seen earlier today. That encounter had really piqued his interest. For one, it had been impressive that the boy and his clone had managed to withstand his killing intent, even if they had wavered at first. But what happened afterwards was the thing that really made his gut tingle**(10)**. The way the clone had stepped up, the way he asked him the question, the way he held himself.. Ibiki had studied and trained himself to read the stray hints given from a person's body language. And from what he saw, it felt like the clone and the original were two different persons. Coupled with the different eyes it made for a very curious mystery. And when the Head of Torture and Interrogation had one of those on his mind, he couldn't just forget about them. It wasn't big enough to warrant his immediate investigation, but maybe it would be a good idea to at least inform the Hokage. Most people would probably dismiss the whole situation, but Ibiki wasn't most people and neither was the Hokage. It's why they were the best at what they did. And this was related to the Jinchūriki of Konoha after all.

He took an empty scroll and began writing notes, detailing his meeting and the thoughts it had brought him. After he had finished, he took it along with the file of the Iwa prisoner and left for home. The two items would be delivered to the Hokage in the morning as usual, before he went to work.

**!~¡**

**End of Prologue: Making of a Family**

**!~¡**

**(1) **The thought that since it was one of his own jokes, the clone might also be familiar with it never really did cross his mind.**  
>(2)<strong> **senbon - **metal needles of varying sizes with a point at both ends;  
><strong>(3) qipao - <strong>from Mandarin, a body-hugging one-piece Chinese dress for women;  
><strong>(4) tant<strong>**ō**** - **literally means "short blade";  
><strong>(5) f<strong>**ū****ma shuriken - **literally means "demon wind shuriken"; it is a large, four-bladed shuriken;  
><strong>(6) -niisan<strong> - an honorific used for addressing an older brother in casual situations;  
><strong>(7) -n<strong>**ē****san **- an honorific used for addressing an older sister in casual situations;**  
>(8) Kiyomi<strong> - literally means "pure beauty";**  
>(9) Iwa<strong> - Stone;  
><strong>(10) <strong>Morino Ibiki was one of the few fortunate shinobi that had developed a gut sense in his early twenties. It was the reason why he was such an impressive interrogator.

**!~¡**

**Author's thoughts: DUN DUN DUN!**

**I think I had way too much fun writing the Team Gai bit. I was on and off laughing for about an hour after I thought the whole thing up. Poor Tenten.. I hope you'll forgive me! On the bright side, that bodysuit will probably look pretty good on you.**

**I enjoyed writing Madame Sachiko. It was either Sachiko or Sumire, but I think Sachiko is better. She's just here to fill the role of an eccentric store owner, so I don't think she'll be making much appearance sadly.**

**I wanted to put the Japanese name for "Little Serpent", but unfortunately I don't know Japanese. I was looking for something like "Kogarasu Maru" (Little Crow) which is also a tant****ō**** and one of the National Treasures of Japan. Google translate did give me Sukoshi Hebi, Sukoshi Dokuhebi (Little Viper) and Ch****ī****sana Mamushi (Small Viper), but I don't really feel comfortable putting those in like that. Besides, just "Little Serpent" sounds pretty cool.**

**And thus ends the prologue and the introductory chapters of The Cure of Loneliness. I'm not sure if it should be prologue or part 1, but I'll just leave it as prologue for now. We have our Uzumaki family ready to wreak havoc and absurdity on the poor world. From the next chapter we get to see just that.**

**Drop a comment if you've liked things so far or if you have questions. Thank you for reading!**

**Ta-ta !~**

**!~¡**


	7. Chapter 7: Social Violence

**Authour's ramblings: Such reviews, much follows, wow! Thank you all, you're so kind! Thank you **tastybigsexy**, **TazalTerminals**, **zolydck**, **Sword'sfunPen'sbetter8P**, **DPSS**, **dasross**, **idea-getthe**, **wander reader**, **nrvbdnd**, **mass-defect**, **Uber Ghidorah**, **Umbra-Venator**, **DrunkenBunny**, **More**, **Tango Charlie**, **Someone**, and **miemae04**! The flames of youth are strong in you! Some responses:**

**DPSS: **Gods, your analogy to the Rangers made my day. I never even thought about it until you mentioned it and it's too super. It practically motivated me to write this chapter faster so I could respond to you. Now as for your concern about Yami, let me say this: **His role is much bigger than just being the smart one.** I don't want to say more, since it will spoil the story, but don't write him off yet. As for the outfit, there's a reason he has chosen to keep Naruto's, at least for now. Thank you for the review, it really made my day.

**TazalTerminals: **I haven't watched that, so I can't say. Sarge's role in my mind has evolved a lot from the first concept of the story. Initially, he was going to be much ruder, cruder and meaner than Yami. However, later on I realized it would overlap too much, so I decided to go the other way. He will have his moments of course, all of them will. Funny thing, Kiyomi's initial concept was different as well.

**Sword'sfunPen'sbetter8P:** Thank you very much, I feel really embarrassed to have missed those. I did not even register them until you pointed them out.

**nrvbdnd: **I love every single one of those that I'm getting, so thank you all again!

**Tango Charlie:** So much praise! On the topic of Bashing, there'll be a note about it after the responses. As for Team 7, I recommend Team 7's Ascension, that's a pretty good story about them. I can't promise anything in mine, unfortunately. I will develop them, but the Uzumaki's are the focus and the story will be heading a certain direction. As for the GEMs, they're Generic Errand Minions.

**Now, the chapter. I will first make a very IMPORTANT note. That's right, with CAPITAL LETTERS. It's in regards to Bashing. I really dislike it, because I happen to like Sasuke and Sakura's characters, at least at certain points. I liked their potential. I like Kakashi's character as well, even though some of the things he's done are mind-boggling, but I can still find some logic in them. Besides, he's just Badass so that alleviates his guilt. In fact, one of the very few characters I actually dislike is Jiraiya. The point however is I will not do senseless Bashing, even if it seems like it. From my point of view or rather the point of the story, certain things are just logical behavior. Let's face it, Yami is an ass. He has reason to of course, but he's still an ass. And that's why we love him S2 (that's a heart).**

**Anyway, enough ranting, here's Chapter 7!**

**Enjoy ~!**

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**The Cure for Loneliness**

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**Chapter 7: Social Violence**

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Hiruzen knew it was going to be one of those days. The ones where from the moment you woke up, you knew staying in bed would've been the wisest thing to do until the storm of all bad, mean things the Universe had decided to throw your way had passed. It was days like these that made him want to call one of his old students back, chain them to the chair, glue the hat to a part of their body and bury them in a stack of paper, while he took a cruise somewhere nice and most importantly - far away.

Alas, his students had decided they had more important things to do with their lives instead of helping their old, kind, and lovable teacher out. It was either experimenting on young children, gambling and drinking their life away, or peeping on bathing women and writing about it. Why couldn't have one of them picked something more.. well whatever the opposite of what they were doing was. He couldn't say normal, since there was no such thing as normal when it came to top-tier ninja. Hatake Kakashi and Maito Gai of his own ninja forces were prime examples of that, in fact there were theories going that the weirder the quirks, the stronger the ninja.

Still, there should've been better hobbies. It's why the Academy had a shōgi**(1)** club and had classes on tea ceremonies, flower arrangements, cooking, and other useless things in the first place. So that after the genin rose in rank and it was time to pick some hobby, they had suitable choices. Not reading porn in public while being perpetually late by 3 hours or wearing a skin-tight bodysuit and screaming about youth while running around the village on your hands.

He rubbed the sides of his head. Where had things gone wrong? If the normal weirdness wasn't enough, there was Exhibit A: A report of a highly unusual and completely accidental stampede of farm animals that had occurred yesterday afternoon. Prime suspect number one, Uzumaki Naruto, couldn't have done it since he was seen by some of his ninja doing various things like shopping or running around the village in his underwear. Unfortunately, with prime suspect number one out of the picture, the list of suspects became much shorter, as in completely non-existent. Until Hiruzen read a small note several people saw a redheaded girl between the age of 12 and 14 had been near the point of origin of the stampede. Accompanied by a boy, between the age of 12 and 14, with long black straight hair tied in a pony-tail and dark eyes. So now, not only was Kushina's vengeful spirit running amok, but it was apparently accompanied by a manifestation of Uchiha Itachi's younger self, the one responsible for the Uchiha Clan massacre.

Hiruzen's eyes shifted longingly to the brochure detailing a very prolonged excursion on a far-away tropical island in the South. The emphasis was on the _far-away_ portion. The part that mentioned it was customary for the local women to go around topless while they were doing their business around the island had nothing to do with it.

Then his eyes travelled to Exhibit B: a report from Morino Ibiki on one Uzumaki Naruto. The damn report was practically the thing that had provided the alibi for the blond-haired menace. More worrying than Naruto actually being innocent for once were the contents of the report. Hiruzen always knew there was a catch when it came to that boy. "Oh look at me, I'm not the one responsible for the chaos _this time_! Oh, by the way, I can make slightly different clones than me that might have their own personalities." Whatever that was about, he would be paying a visit to the boy tonight. Maybe take him out for some ramen, he hadn't done that in a while.

"Hokage-sama," came from his door and his secretary poked her head in, "Hatake Kakashi is here to see you."

Hiruzen let out a puff of smoke from his pipe and looked at the clock. Right on time, three hours after the arranged meeting. "Send him in."

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi greeted with his usual aloof tone when he entered.

"Ah, Kakashi, punctual as always. There is a place I would like us to visit. The home of one of your students," Hiruzen said.

"Which one?" Kakashi asked, his voice sounding completely opposite of what could be described as enthusiastic, eager, or excited.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I trust you have read the files of your students," Hiruzen said.

"Uh.. Their files, right. Yeah, I've done that," he was definitely sincere about the reading part. The reading of what exactly remained in the obscure area.

Hiruzen just let out another puff from his pipe. This was as good of a response as he was going to get. The last time he pressed the issue, Kakashi had summoned one of his dogs to prove the canine had eaten whatever he had needed to read. His dogs were trained in many areas, including providing a suitable excuse for their master.

"Come on then," Hiruzen stood and left his office, followed by Kakashi. When they were out of the tower they both used the Shunshin no jutsu**(2)** to arrive at a very old apartment building. They climbed the stairs and walked up to a door that was at the end of the corridor, where the Hokage produced a key.

"Do you have a key to all of your ninja's apartments, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked.

"Only the important ones," the Hokage answered as he unlocked the door.

_"That's a yes then,"_ Kakashi thought while he followed the Hokage inside. He briefly considered moving to an apartment without a front door. It was a new type of apartment buildings that had become really popular with the ninja forces recently and he preferred going through windows anyway.

The layout of Naruto's apartment was rather simple. From the front door you entered a rectangular corridor and immediately to the left was a door that led to the living room and kitchen. On the far right was the door to the bedroom and immediately to the right of it, technically facing the wall of the front door, was the door of the bathroom. From where the shower could be heard.

"Isn't he supposed to be at the Academy for the Genin Graduation Ceremony, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked.

"Indeed he is. I suppose you've started teaching him before you even met him, Kakashi," the Hokage replied, shaking his head. He looked in the living room and kitchen, and was immediately surprised. They had changed, in more than one way. He entered, noting for one, it was actually really clean. Naruto wasn't one to do housework, in fact Hiruzen remembered a particular case about an year and a half ago, when Naruto had decided it was too annoying to take out the trash properly. It had gotten to a point where he was forced to use a genjutsu**(3) **on the boy to make him believe the trash had come to life and had developed an appetite for humans. He chuckled fondly at the memory and the panic Naruto had displayed back then. He had thought of doing it again, yet it seemed his fun was ruined since it was already clean.

Another thing he noticed was the change in furniture. Instead of the small table in the kitchen there was a large cupboard and when Hiruzen opened it, he noticed how various jars of spices and nuts, boxes of pasta, cereal, and crackers, two large bags of rice, and two sliced breads packed in nylon were all neatly organized in different shelves. He saw the mandatory cups of instant ramen were at the top and in much lesser quantity than what would've been the norm for Naruto. That made him turn around and open the fridge, where he saw a whole slew of different foods, including fruit and vegetables. He was surprised to see a brand new rice-cooker that was actually turned on at the moment. He was even more surprised when he went to the living room and saw the couch had been moved to the far wall, making space for a very large dining table, with eight chairs around it and a bowl with even _more_ fruit in the middle.

He took a thoughtful draw from his pipe. When had this change occurred? The image of Naruto he had in his mind was of a hyperactive, naive, and rather simple boy with an obsession for ramen and the colour orange that was a sloppy eater, despised fruit and vegetables, and couldn't clean to save his life. When had all of this happened?

When was the last time he actually came in the apartment?.. He remembered he visited the boy a few months ago and they went for ramen outside, but he hadn't actually gotten inside. In fact, the last time he had come in was during the genjutsu fiasco. Suddenly, Hiruzen felt guilt bubbling in his heart. What else had he missed about him? Why hadn't he visited him more, even if it was just to go for ramen?

"So this is where Naruto lives," he heard Kakashi say. The jōnin had observed the Hokage's movements around the place and had noted everything Hiruzen had. Of course, he didn't know the boy that well, so to him it just looked like a well organized and cleaned place. "Is everything all right, Hokage-sama?"

"Huh? Yes, yes.. It's just.." Hiruzen's eyes were focused on the large dining table. How did he manage to even get it in the apartment? He moved closer and recognized it was from the home furnishing chain stores Nin-kea, which meant the boy had assembled it himself.. Without blowing the building up. "This place has changed since the last time I was here." The moment he said that, they heard the shower stop. They looked towards the corridor and Hiruzen almost dropped his pipe at what he saw.

The door opened and out with the steam came a girl, at about Naruto's height and age. She had the same blue eyes, the same whisker marks and nothing but a towel on her person. A towel that wasn't actually wrapped around her body, but instead wrapped around her golden hair, forming a tower on her head that was supported by her hands. She let out a long sigh of contentment and went into the bedroom, flicking the door closed with her foot and not noticing the two men at all.

Hiruzen had to enforce every modicum of his will not to pass out, at the sight and at the shock. Kakashi wasn't faring any better. "Hokage-sama.." he said shakily, "Uzumaki Naruto.. is a boy, right?"

"Yes," the Hokage answered numbly.

"And he has no living relatives?" Kakashi asked again.

"That is correct," Hiruzen said and immediately wracked his brain for the memories of the night of the Kyūbi attack almost 13 years ago. Truly, Naruto had been the only child during the sealing.. But had there been another child born that night? Did he have a twin sister, that had been hidden away by his mother and father before the sealing? Somehow that seemed incredibly unlikely and Hiruzen got the feeling this would be somehow related to Ibiki's report.

All these thoughts passed at lightning speed in Hiruzen's mind. He suddenly felt the need to sit down. He headed for the couch, but heard the door of the bedroom opening. He turned around and gaped at the sight. The girl was wearing a maid uniform and it seemed she had not dried herself completely, because it clung closely to her lithe form in some areas. She had her eyes closed and was walking towards them while humming a tune and still drying her hair with a towel. She finally opened her eyes when she entered the living room and immediately froze when she saw them.

There was a tense silence in the air as she observed both men. Her eyes flicked between the two of them, looking them from head to toe until they narrowed dangerously into a Look. Hiruzen knew that Look. It made his husband instinct immediately scream in alarm. It was an instinct all men acquired after they became married to go along with their self-preservation instinct. And while his hadn't been active for the past 13 years since his beloved Biwako died and this girl technically wasn't his wife, she projected exactly the same Look Biwako would give him when he had done something that hadn't been to her particular liking. Going over his head, Hiruzen found several offences that could have provoked the need for that Look.

"You're wearing sandals," the girl said in an eerily familiar voice.

"What?" Hiruzen was so bewildered, he couldn't help but blurt out.

"You're wearing sandals in my apartment. After I've spent all morning _cleaning_!" the girl said, the last word uttered with much more intensity. She clenched her fists, placing them at her waist and leaned in slightly. Somehow she suddenly looked much taller than her 145 cm. Hiruzen found himself sitting on the couch, taking his sandals off, and placing them to the side. This wasn't one of the offences he had considered. Her head whipped towards Kakashi and the jōnin immediately followed his example opting to keep standing and holding them between two fingers.

The girl hmpf-ed, her annoyance not leaving her face and went into the kitchen. Both men noticed she had the orange scabbard of a tantō fastened into the giant orange ribbon of her apron at her waist. That made them also notice a number of other things, like the four small pouches along the belt and the two leg garters that had small kunai knives sticking out. The girl was a kunoichi. That brought Hiruzen back from his stupor. What the hell had just happened?! He was the Hokage damn it, how could a 12 year old girl do something like that to him! Well, he wouldn't let her take the initiative again!

"Here," he was snapped from his thoughts by said 12 year old girl, who.. was offering him a cup of tea. He noticed her choker had the Leaf insignia, which meant she was apparently one of his kunoichi.

"Huh?" Hiruzen felt the initiative giggling cheekily as it was whisked away from his grasp once again. He took the cup as if mesmerized and looked up at the girl.

"You looked a bit pale there. And it's common courtesy to treat your guests, even if they are _uninvited_," the last word was so pointed it practically poked him in the ribs. "So tell me Old Man, do you make it a habit of going into ninja's apartments uninvited?"

"Only the important ones," Hiruzen said automatically. Kakashi made another mental note to upgrade his security. There were some precious treasures stored away in his home. Hiruzen in the meantime looked the girl over. There were only two people in Konoha who addressed him in such a way and since Konohamaru was nowhere in sight, that only left, "Is that you, Naruto?"

The girl looked at him strangely and lifted a slender blond brow, "Do I look like Naruto?" She puffed her cheeks and looked away in an incredibly cute manner, as if offended in some way. Naruto certainly didn't dress as well as her or looked as stunning as her.. Oh and also wasn't a girl like her.

"You certainly act the way he does. I can definitely see his unpredictable quality in you, young lady," Hiruzen said.

The girl giggled a happy laughter reminiscent of many tinkling bells and traced a whisker mark with her thumb. "Hehe, thank you, Old Man. And my name is Uzumaki Naruko. I'm Naruto's maid clone."

"Maid clone?" Hiruzen asked in fascination.

"Yep! I'm in charge of cleaning, cooking, shopping and generally taking care of our home and Naruto!" she pumped her fist proudly. "And let me tell you, it's not an easy job. This morning I had to spend 20 minutes to make him eat his fruit! Honestly, he acts like a 5 year old sometimes. He caved in the end of course, everyone caves in front of the wooden spoon eventually," she chuckled wickedly.

Hiruzen could easily picture that episode although he had no idea what the bit about the wooden spoon was about. However, the revelation that this girl was a clone troubled him. Even if she was Naruto's and despite the similarities they shared, she still _felt_ different. For one it seemed she enjoyed doing the chores. The old Hokage had the feeling more and more that Ibiki's assessment had been correct, which meant there was at least one more. There was another thought nagging at his mind about the actual implications of why Naruto had created these clones, but he didn't want to think about that at the moment.

"I have to prepare lunch and meet him at the Academy soon actually. So if you could tell me why you came here and decided to break in and then be on your way, that would be great," she said with a cheeky smile, while crossing her arms under her chest.

Hiruzen felt a bit annoyed. "For your information, Naruko, we didn't break in. I have a key, since I was the one that helped Naruto with the apartment. And as Hokage I have the right to go anywhere I please in my village, so we'll be leaving after we've conducted our business here." He felt that may have been the wrong thing to say. It was the narrowing of her eyes paired with her mouth turning into a tight slit that tipped him off. Then those same eyes obtained a glint Hiruzen knew well. Okay, it definitely had been the wrong thing to say.

Naruko made a hand-seal and a puff of smoke engulfed her. It dissipated to reveal a much older Naruko, about by ten years with a body that filled the maid uniform incredibly well and was still somehow wet from the shower at _certain_ places. She stretched a slender arm, taking the cup away from the stunned Hokage's hands and placed it on the small coffee table. Then very slowly and deliberately she placed herself on his lap and moved her arms around his neck while staring at him with incredibly intense blue eyes.

"You know," she said in a voice Hiruzen was all too familiar with, the same husky one from Naruto's Oiroke no jutsu, "my duties go beyond just cleaning and cooking. As a maid, I am to obey Naruto-sama's _every_ wish, including entertain his guests. And since Naruto-sama isn't here at the moment, I am to obey you, Hokage-sama." She leaned in, her full pink lips only centimeters away from his ear and whispered, "So what would you request of me, Ho-ka-ge-sa-ma. I can do _everything_."

This time Hiruzen did pass out. It was way too much excitement for his poor old heart. And even if he had fallen to the same technique twice before, those times could not even compare to the intensity Naruko had just hit him with. She stood up, a small smirk playing across her visage, before she turned towards the other man.

Kakashi's eyes were wide and if his face wasn't masked, his jaw would've probably dropped to the ground. That girl had just reenacted his second favourite scene from _Icha Icha Paradise: Maid for your pleasure_! He hadn't realized it yet, but he had moved his forehead protector away to uncover his Sharingan eye. One of the abilities of the eye was to record everything it saw and imbed it into its user's mind forever. He watched the now much older girl saunter towards him, swaying her body with each deliberate step. He felt himself backing off until he was pressed against the wall and with nowhere to go, the maid finally reached him and leaned very closely to his chest, placing the side of her head on it. The scent of citrus from her recently washed and still slightly damp hair assaulted his very keen sense of smell.

"It seems Hokage-sama has opted to refuse my services," she said moving a slender finger over and starting to make a circular pattern at his chest, just above his flak-jacket. "That means you have my _entire_ and _undivided_ attention, ninja-sama." Those words were said with incredible intonation and she started moving her finger gently up his neck until it rested on his masked lips. She met his wide eyes with her own intense blue ones and standing on her toes, she leaned closer until the only thing in the way was the finger. "I await your orders, Master."

_"That was my favourite scene!"_ were Kakashi's last thoughts before he passed out and slumped to the floor.

Naruko's smirk grew wider and she dispelled the technique, going back to her old self. "What a bunch of perverts. Who knew, those seduction classes Naruto sneaked in on would have actually been this useful," she said to herself. Those classes were supposed to be only for the kunoichi in training at the Ninja Academy. And since it was forbidden for boys to attend them, Naruto had naturally done his best to sneak in. It was what had inspired him to create the Oiroke no jutsu in the first place. Naruko had to give it to her Creator, this technique really was genius.

She went to the kitchen and looking at the clock, she immediately busied herself with preparing lunch. Naruto's meal plan had been personally prepared by her and approved by Yami. It hadn't been approved by Naruto, but he didn't really get a vote on that one. Breakfast consisted of fruit and cereal and of course all the other clones had opted out of it. Their official reasoning was they didn't need the chakra since they were just created. It had nothing to do with their shared hatred of anything healthy. Lunch and the afternoon snack would be something simple and high on carbohydrates and calories, to replenish everyone's energy. And dinner would always be sort of a grand affair, even if the clones would technically be dispelled soon. So lunch today was rice balls. Lots of them.

When she was done, she wrapped some cloth around the large bento**(4)** box and went to the living room. Both men were still in a blissful state of unconsciousness. She could even hear light snoring coming from the Old Man. She felt a bit annoyed at that, but after observing him for a while, she let out a huff and went to the bedroom. When she came back, she had brought a blanket which she draped over the village leader. She also took his hat away and placed it on the coffee table, so he could rest his head properly.

"Aren't you lucky, you break into someone's apartment and get tended to by a pretty girl as a reward," she said shaking her head with her hands resting on her slender waist. Her response was another snore. While her opinion of the Old Man wasn't high because he had lied to Naruto, he was also one of the few people that treated him kindly, so she had decided to let him off the hook. This time. Or maybe not. A sudden thought came to her mind and she wrote a little note and placed it on the hat. She moved towards the kitchen but stopped when she passed the other man's prone body.

Her blue eyes focused on his mask and curiosity overcoming her, she leaned down, hooked her fingers in, and pulled it off. What she saw made her gape. Under the mask.. was another mask! She stared at it in bewilderment, before moving the first one back to its place. A chuckle rose in her throat and she put her hand over her mouth to prevent from bursting into laughter. Despite being like a cat in the curiosity department, Naruko still respected anyone who went to such lengths to keep their privacy. She may regret her decision later, but this was the right thing to do.

She made another stop by the mirror to fix her hair in her customary pig-tails and adjust her little maid cap, before she went into the kitchen, grabbed the bento box and went out. First, she would make a quick stop at Madame Sachiko. Naruko had noticed that everyone else had retained the red swirl on their attire in some way and had felt left out. It was something that needed to be fixed immediately. She had decided to put hers on her apron at the front. Then it was off to the Academy to meet with Naruto and Yami.

Moments after she had left, Kakashi opened his eyes and stood up, placing his forehead protector over his Sharingan. He had been awake for a while, but had noticed the Hokage was observing Naruko and had decided to do the same. It had taken a lot out of him not to react when she had leaned over and taken his mask off. He had expected her to try taking his second mask off and had been surprised when she didn't. Most people in her position would've pressed on. And she wasn't even a real person but.. a clone? That brought a lot of uncomfortable thoughts in Kakashi's mind.

"Hokage-sama.." he said, noting Sarutobi was thoughtfully looking at his hat.

"A rather kind girl, don't you think?" the Hokage said. "She even respected your privacy. What was under the second mask?"

"Just a little surprise," Kakashi rubbed the back of his head.

"She's a lot like Naruto. But different at the same time, he would've definitely tried to look under it," the Hokage said.

"Hokage-sama.." Kakashi hesitated again, "is she really a clone?"

The Hokage picked his pipe up and put some tobacco in. A small flame appeared on his finger and he lit it, taking a deep puff. "I'm afraid she is, Kakashi."

"But.. How is that even possible? Clones aren't supposed to be like that.."

"Unfortunately, there's more, Kakashi," Hiruzen said and told him about Ibiki's report of his meeting. By the time he had finished, Kakashi was sitting on one of the chairs.

"So she's not the only one? How many more are there?" Kakashi asked and felt a lump in his throat.

"That I don't know," the Hokage said.

"How did this happen? When?"

"I'm guessing it was sometime after the Mizuki incident. And as for the how that's easy enough to answer. Jinchūriki are known to lead very hard lives. The Sand Jinchūriki for example is a bloodthirsty psychotic killer," the Hokage said. "I'm afraid the harsh treatment he's been receiving from the village and the lack of companionship in his life may have finally brought Naruto over the edge."

Silence engulfed them and both men were alone with their thoughts. After awhile, the Hokage stood up and took the note and his hat. He put it back on, while thoughtfully reading what Naruko had left him. "Kakashi," he finally said, "I'm not sure what all of this means. I think giving him to you is best, but the situation might have changed quite a bit. I want you to observe him today and report to me later." He took another puff of smoke and handed the paper to Kakashi. "You also have Sasuke of **the** Uchiha clan on your team, so you might have your work cut out for you. Now I'll be going back to the tower."

_"This could be troublesome,"_ Kakashi thought, but aloud he said "Yes sir," and took the note, giving it a look.

_There is leftover salad in the fridge. Feel free to help yourself. Please lock the door on your way out._

**!~¡**

Yami was laying his head on the desk while buried in his arms. How long were they supposed to wait for? When he and Naruto had arrived at the Academy, they were told to come to this room and wait until a teacher arrived. The others had gone on various other tasks. Sarge would be running drills with the clones, while Honō would be practicing a chakra control exercise he had learned from Gai-sensei. Yami had given up on telling him it was pointless by now and just left the nincompoop to do whatever he wanted. On the bright side, it seemed Sarge was making some progress, judging from the stray memories of clones they kept getting every five or so minutes. Kiyomi was in the library reading up on chakra theory and Naruko was at home cleaning and preparing food. She would come after she was done, while the other three would meet them later for lunch. And Naruto had gone off to the washroom, so now he was left alone.

Yami wished he and Naruto had been doing something productive as well. So far it had just been sitting around in class, doing nothing. Most of the other genin graduates had just ignored them, as usual, which was perfectly fine in Yami's book. Until now at least.

"Naruto?" came a voice from his right. "What are you doing here, only genin graduates are supposed to be here."

Yami turned his head, while still resting it in his arms and looked at the person that had talked to him. It was a boy his age.. well Naruto's age, since Yami was technically 3 days old, that was known as Nara Shikamaru. He had narrow brown eyes and shoulder-length black hair tied in a high spiky ponytail, giving his head the appearance of a pineapple. On his ears he had a pair of silver hoop earrings and his chosen attire was a green lined mesh T-shirt and a short sleeved grey jacked with the same green edges that had a black circle with a line running through the middle on the sleeves and the back. He also wore his forehead protector on his left arm and had a pair of brown pants and blue shinobi sandals on his lower half.

The normally lazy expression that usually occupied his face was replaced by a look of surprise when Shikamaru saw Yami's eyes. The clone had to keep his smirk from his face. For some reason he took immense pleasure in seeing those surprised looks. He tapped his forehead protector and simply said, "Passed as well."

Now Shikamaru's look had changed to a very calculating one, going from the red eyes to the tantō strapped at his back, which put Yami on guard. The boy was a lazy big-mouthed idiot, but he also happened to be incredibly smart. It seemed like Shikamaru was going to say something else when the two heard a crash coming from one of the doors. They looked towards it and Yami let out a groan. The peanut gallery had arrived.

Two girls stood there, taking large breaths, probably from some sort of stupid race they've had again. The first one, Haruno Sakura, had bright pink hair, large green eyes, fair skin, and a big forehead. She wore a red short-sleeved qipao dress with white circular designs at the arms, the front, and the back, a pair of tight green shorts, blue ninja sandals and her forehead protector was tied on her head like a ribbon.

The other one, Yamanaka Ino was fair-skinned, had blue pupil less eyes and waist-long platinum blond hair tied in a high ponytail with bangs falling over the right side of her face. Her clothing was fairly revealing and purple, consisting of a short blouse with a raised collar that exposed her stomach, an apron skirt that was cut at the sides and up to her hips, a pair of white elbow warmers with purple edges, and a pair of blue ninja sandals. Her forehead protector was on a blue cloth and tied like a belt around her waist and the only thing that actually kept her decency were wrapped bandages over her navel and around her legs.

They seemed to bicker for a moment until the pink one looked in his direction and headed over, followed closely by the blonde. Yami let out another groan and buried his face in his arms again, not missing the pitying look Shikamaru gave him before the black-haired boy made his hasty escape.

"Move Naruto!" came from Sakura.

Yami ignored her.

"Didn't you hear me, I said move it!" she persisted.

Yami turned his head again and barely opened his eye. To everyone else it seemed like it was still closed.

"Don't ignore me, idiot!" she yelled and took a swing at his head with a fist.

Yami was a very fair person. As far as he was concerned, everyone besides the other Uzumaki's started at the same line which was "hate". In order to reach a rank of something like "strong dislike" or even the almost impossible "mild distaste", they would have to work their way up the ladder. Sakura was one of the people who had worked her way down.

His eyes snapped open and he moved his right arm, grabbing her wrist before she actually managed to hit him. He squeezed, making her wince and her eyes were widened in shock at what was happening. She wasn't the only one, by that point the little commotion had everyone's attention.

"Don't you," Yami stood up, "ever dare," he took a step, "try to hit me," he let go of her hand and took another step, "again!"

The girl scrambled to take a step back, but her legs gave out and she fell on her bum. Her frightened gaze could not move away from his face. Who was this? This wasn't Naruto! The appearance was the same, but the eyes and the voice were different. His voice was deep and menacing and his eyes _burned_. Everyone had similar thoughts passing through their minds. There was thick crushing pressure practically radiating from the boy, as if he was enveloped in some kind of dark aura. He took one more step and Sakura scrambled to move away, but her back hit another desk.

Yami kept looking down at her, sensing deep buried anger that had festered for years start to surface. She had wanted to hit Naruto! No one would hurt him again, no one would ever hurt any of them again! He would teach them, he _would set an example, he would make them suffer!_

"Hey!" a loud voice cut through the tension with surprising efficiency. Everyone turned to it and saw.. the real Naruto? He definitely sounded like him and had the same blue eyes. "What are you doing to Sakura-chan?!" He made his way over to them. Everyone turned around back to the other boy and did a collective double take. The thick pressure had all but evaporated and his vicious snarl had disappeared completely, replaced by an impassive frown, as if the whole episode had been a figment of the imagination.

"She was going to hit me," his voice had changed to sound calmer and eerily similar to Naruto's, but at the same time retained a permanent hint of annoyance, "and we both know that's not something we'd like to happen."

"You didn't have to be that harsh!" Naruto yelled, noting the red hand mark on her wrist. "Ah, sorry Sakura-chan, are you okay?"

"N-Naruto?" the girl managed to mumble as her eyes darted between the two of them.

"Don't apologize, you dimwit," the not-Naruto smacked the real one at the back of the head. "She was the one at fault!" he said annoyed and focused her with a glare that made her flinch away. "Next time you want someone to move," he leaned in and his voice became a whisper that was still heard by everyone, "ask nicely." He then grabbed Naruto's wrist and started going up the room, "come on, there's an empty desk at the back."

"You shouldn't be mean to Sakura-chan!" Naruto was heard.

"I know you like her, you knucklehead!" the not-Naruto stopped abruptly and fixed Naruto's eyes with his own, "I also know exactly why. Tell me, why am I here?"

Naruto's response was in the form of a glare.

"Come on, we practiced this last night," the not-Naruto said encouragingly, taking no small amount of pleasure from this exchange.

"So I don't do stupid things," Naruto mumbled, looking away.

"See, you're a fast learner!" the not-Naruto said in mock cheer and patted Naruto on the head, until his hand was swatted away and he was fixed with another glare. Then the two just continued to the last empty desk near the windows and sat down.

Slowly, it came to the realization of the other occupants of the classroom that nothing else was going to happen. The spell they had all been under was gone and slowly, they went back to whatever they were doing beforehand with the addition of a new topic of discussion.

Sakura was still on the floor, her eyes fixed on the spot the not-Naruto had been. She couldn't get his eyes off her mind. She had never been the focus of such intense rage before in her life. She felt a light touch on her shoulder and almost jumped out of her skin. Thankfully, it was only Ino, "Hey, are you okay?" the blonde asked her. Ino had been close enough to the exchange to see not-Naruto's eyes as well and had a good idea how Sakura was feeling. Her mind went to the orange-wearing boys. They practically looked identical, sans the eyes. But while Naruto was loud, obnoxious and had a silly grin plastered on his face most of the time, the other one was the complete opposite. Were they twins? But it was the first time she saw the other one in the Academy and they both had the forehead protector, so they were both ninja. Then who was he? A mysterious genius older brother?! Her curiosity immediately spiked.

She helped Sakura up and both girls sat on the desk that had been previously occupied by the not-Naruto. "Is your wrist all right?" Ino asked.

"Yeah, I can still move it, it just hurts," Sakura said.

"We should go to the school nurse to check it," Ino said.

"It's fine, we're supposed to wait here. If it still hurts, I'll go after we're done," Sakura said, massaging her wrist. It still had the red hand print, although it was starting to fade gradually. She really hoped it wouldn't stay permanent or bruise.

The two girls were so distracted, that for a while they didn't even register the entire reason Sakura had wanted the not-Naruto to move. One Uchiha Sasuke, who was sitting beside them. The coolest, most mysterious, and handsome boy in class. The prodigy of the Uchiha clan and the top student. The reason for the existence of the Uchiha Sasuke fan club and the focus of infatuation for many of the girls.

He was a fair-skinned boy with onyx eyes and black chin-length hair that somehow had a spiky appearance at the back of his head. He wore a navy blue T-shirt with a high collar and the Uchiha crest embroidered at the back. It consisted of a fan with the upper half of the circle being red, while the lower half and the handle being white. He also had a pair of white arm-warmers, a pair of white shorts and a pair of blue ninja sandals, with his forehead protector worn in the usual way.

Like the others, he had noticed the little exchange between the not-Naruto and Sakura. He had been surprised as well at first. While Naruto was one to be easily riled up and always loudly jumped into a fight, he had never before shown such intense anger and hatred towards anyone, even himself and they had had many scuffles during their Academy years. The feeling the not-Naruto had projected felt eerily similar to the feelings deep into Sasuke's own heart towards a certain person. The appearance of the real Naruto had brought some questions in Sasuke's mind as well, and thankfully he was left in peace to ponder them. At least until Ino and Sakura had realized they were sitting next to him.

This wouldn't be the only episode that involved the Uzumaki's that day. Not even 10 minutes had passed and the door at the front of the class slung open. Everyone turned to it, expecting a teacher to have finally come and for the second time did a double take. It was a blond girl wearing a maid uniform. A kunoichi, judging from the kunai in her leg garters, the small pouches and the tantō. The same one Naruto and his twin had. In fact she basically looked like their sister. She was holding a large bento box wrapped in cloth and her gaze swept along the room, lingering for a fraction of a second on each person until they had reached their final destination. Strangely, most of the boys and even a few of the girls found their breaths hitch when they became the focus of her intense blue eyes.

"There you are!" she exclaimed and headed over to Naruto's desk. She pretended not to notice the many pair of eyes focused on her while she did that. "It took me forever to find you. Hasn't this thing finished yet?"

"I'm surprised you managed to even find us in the first place, airhead," the not-Naruto said. "Then again, you are quite late."

"I had to make a stop," her hand went along the new red swirl she now had on her apron that basically looked like a red whirlpool. "And we had some unexpected visitors." She placed the bento in front of Naruto and sat next to him.

"Your vanity knows no bounds. Then again, nothing less from a bimbo," the not-Naruto drawled with a bored tone while he rested his head on his hand.

"What was that jerkface? Did you say you wanted more of the special sauce on your dinner? That can be arranged," the girl said with a smirk.

"You bitch.." the not-Naruto stood, grabbing his tantō. The girl immediately stood as well while grabbing hers and sporting a wicked grin. It seemed like the two were about to skewer each other until Naruto's voice was heard from between them.

"Wow, these are pretty good!" he said, while stuffing his face with a second riceball.

"Naruto, these are for lunch!" the girl said in exasperation and smacked him at the back of the head, much like the not-Naruto had done earlier.

"But I'm huuuuuuuuungry!" Naruto whined. "Those fruit passed right through me, I need something solid!"

"You'll eat at lunch with everyone," there was a sense of finality to the girl's voice as she whisked the bento away and repacked it quickly.

Naruto let out another whine and banged his head on the desk. "So what was that about unexpected guests?" Yami asked as he sat down. They would settle this later.

"Oh, get this.." Naruko started, but was interrupted.

"Hey Naruto! Who's the hot girl and why is she with a loser like you?" Yami hadn't thought it was possible, but in hindsight he did have Naruto's memories. There actually was someone even louder than Honō. One Inuzuka Kiba.

The boy was much taller than them and had a wild, beastlike appearance. His pupils were so slitted, it actually looked like his whole eyes were slits; his elongated canines were practically poking out from his mouth, and his fingernails looked sharp and pointy. He also had a red fang mark on each cheek and if his head wasn't hidden by a hood, his animalistic appearance would have only been cemented by the wild brown hair. Then again, the fur-lining of the hood looked like a mane. He was wearing a big grey jacket with more fur lining at the cuffs, a pair of dark grey pants that reached to his shins, the standard blue ninja sandals and his forehead protector was tied around his head where it belonged. The biggest addition was a small white puppy, that was laying on top of his head.

The Uzumaki's observed the boy, who had come up to their desk, briefly.

"So get this," Naruko turned back to the conversation, "the Hokage and some other weird ninja broke into our home!"

"What?!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yeah, I was really surprised too. Not to worry though, I took care of them," Naruko said with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Hey, don't ignore me!" came from Kiba.

"What do you want, Kiba?" Naruto asked annoyed.

"Nothing much, I'm just interested is all," Kiba said. "I remember you failed the exam, but then here you are at the graduation ceremony accompanied by these two. Did you steal the forehead protector from somewhere?"

"Yes, because the Hokage would've let that happen. So you not only smell like a dog, but also have the brains of one, good to know," Yami rolled his eyes.

"Who the hell are you anyway to talk to me like that?" Kiba growled dangerously.

Normally Naruto would've boasted and happily introduced them. But this guy was really annoying him. "None of your business, dog-breath!" By this point the other genin had sensed there was something interested going on again.

"Guys, stop paying attention to the flea-bitten mongrel and let's focus on what's really important - my story," Naruko said.

"Don't you call Akamaru that!" Kiba yelled.

Naruko gave him an impassive look before turning away while flicking one of her pigtails. "What gave you the idea I was talking about the cute puppy?"

Naruto snickered and many others joined in. Even Yami had a smirk on his face. Kiba on the other hand was red-faced in embarrassment and anger. He needed a retort quick so he shot out the first thing that came to his mind.

Naruko gasped and stood up with a shocked look, followed closely by Naruto and Yami. The latter cursed inwardly. All his hard work to restrain himself so that there wouldn't be a homicide at the hands of one of the Uzumaki's and this fool had to come and ruin it all. Both he and Naruto got ready to restrain Naruko, after she got a few good hits in of course. Kiba's insult was low, even by _his_ standards.

The blows never came. They watched in surprise as Naruko's lower lip began to tremble. Tears pooled in her eyes and she turned around, hiding her incredibly hurt expression in Naruto's chest. He placed his hands on her shoulders as if hypnotized and a sob was heard.

Suddenly, Kiba became the focus of many glares in the class-room. _"He said something like _that_ to such a cute girl!"_ were the thoughts of the male population, including one Uchiha Sasuke, although he didn't really care that much. He had just joined the glaring on principal. The girls on the other hand were fueled by righteous female solidarity.

"Naruto," came from Yami, "why don't you take her out so she can calm down. I'll stay here, not all of us need to be here anyway. If there is something, I'll just let you know." He got a nod and led the still quietly sobbing Naruko out.

Yami shook his head and sat down, completely ignoring Kiba. He had to give it to Naruko, she had her moments of brilliance. The trembling lip, the tears, the shaking of the shoulders.. Her performance was masterful. There was no need for him to do anything physical. There were two others who shared similar thoughts in the classroom. Shikamaru, who had deemed it too troublesome to expend energy on glaring even if he had been annoyed at Kiba's words, and Ino. The only reason she caught on the performance was because it was something she would've done herself. Of course, she knew with certainty she would've done it better, but she still had to give credit where credit was due. Sakura and many of the other girls would've probably resorted to brute force. But while severe bodily harm was satisfying in the short term, social violence was much more effective in the long one.

There were other people who had seen through the performance, but weren't there in person. Back in his office, Hiruzen was looking at his crystal ball that was currently focused on the classroom. Some of the other jōnin instructors who had wanted to see their future students were keeping him company. Kakashi was missing, but Hiruzen figured he was observing things first-hand.

"As usual, Naruto's being the centre of trouble. And this time he has back-up," Hiruzen chuckled.

"Incredible," came from Asuma, a large bearded man. "Are those really clones? They act like completely different people."

"It's the only sensible explanation. Unless Naruto somehow discovered lost relatives at the same time he learned the Kage Bunshin no jutsu," the Hokage said.

"There's more," came from Ibiki. He had been summoned by the Hokage to observe as well. "That red-eyed clone, it's not the same one I met yesterday."

"Are you certain Ibiki?" the Hokage asked.

"There are subtle telling signs," Ibiki said, his gaze focused on the red-eyed one, "The one from yesterday seemed more subdued, colder. Like the world around him wasn't of real concern. This one seems a lot like the Creator, but much angrier and a lot sharper."

"What should we do, Hokage-sama? One Naruto was a handful and now there's at least three more," came from Tekuno. The image of Konoha thrown into chaos and painted in many different colours suddenly popped into everyone's minds. "And that girl-clone's performance.." He felt a bit bad for the Inuzuka boy.

"It was well deserved, if you ask me," came from Yūhi Kurenai, one of the two female jōnin in the room. Her eyes were narrowed and focused on Kiba who had gone back to his seat and was doing his best to pretend nothing had happened. Even if it was towards a clone, it was still a female one and what Kiba had said was incredibly rude. "Seems like I'll have to teach him some proper manners on how to treat a lady."

No one said anything to that. When Kurenai was annoyed at someone for treating a lady in the wrong way, it was best to keep as far away as possible, lest you get caught in the blast area.

Outside of the Academy, Naruto had led Naruko to a three that had a swing tied to one of the branches. It seemed like she was still distraught, because her shoulders would shake more and more.

"Hey.." Naruto tried, "if you want we can go back and beat him up good?"

At that point Naruko couldn't keep it in anymore and moved away from his chest, while laughing.

"Wha.." Naruto said bewildered.

"Oh Gods, the look on his face. That's what he gets! I wish we could've stayed to see everyone's reaction, but it was already so hard to do all that with a straight face," she said, still laughing like mad.

"That was all an act?!" Naruto yelled in amazement.

"Please, like it'd have been that easy to make me cry, after what we've been through," Naruko said, punching him on the shoulder lightly. "Besides, we're living with Yami, even if he hasn't been _that_ rude."

"Wow, you're really scary, Naruko."

She just gave him a wink before plopping on the swing. "It was thanks to all those classes you sneaked in."

"So what happened with the Old Man? Oh and can I have one more, please?" Somehow Naruto had managed to sneak the bento box out with him.

"You took it?! While there was a crying girl in your arms?!" Naruko was baffled.

"I'm starving!" Naruto whined.

"It's good to see you have your priorities straight, Naruto," she shook her head. "Fine, just one more. And I'll tell you about the Hokage when everyone's here."

"You're the best!" Naruto yelled excited and immediately chomped on a riceball.

"I know," she said smugly, while flicking a pigtail. "Oh, and I think I've found a way to improve the Sexy technique!"

If Hiruzen had kept observing Naruto, he would've paled. His ball however kept its focus on the classroom, where things had calmed down significantly. Yami had his face buried in his arms and was going over some of the memories from Sarge's drills. He couldn't help but shudder. He felt someone sit next to him and turned his head to see Shikamaru. He didn't say anything at first, but finally directed a bored look at Yami.

"So who are you anyway?" he asked.

"Naruto's long lost second cousin from his mother's side," Yami responded in the same bored manner.

"Really? You look too similar to be mere cousins. Is the girl a cousin as well?" Shikamaru asked again.

"She is. Haven't you heard, the Uzumaki clan is known for its golden blond hair and blue eyes," Yami said. While he didn't really care what people would think when they learned of their situation, outright revealing it would also be revealing Naruto knew the Kage Bunshin technique. And a smart ninja never revealed his techniques. Hmm.. He should tell that to Naruto as well. Plus it was fun messing with people. "And we all love orange," he added as an afterthought.

Shikamaru didn't have the chance to respond because the door at the front of the class opened and in came Umino Iruka, their chūnin**(5)** teacher. He was dressed in the standard Konoha ninja attire, which consisted of a long sleeved blue shirt with red swirls below the shoulders, blue pants, blue ninja sandals and a green flak-jacket. He had dark brown hair kept in a high ponytail, dark eyes and a long scar that ran across the bridge of his nose. He was also holding a clipboard.

"All right, everyone! Settle down! Apologies for the delay, I had some unexpected business with the T&I Force." His eyes swept along the room, making sure he had everyone's attention. He noticed Naruto was at the back, but couldn't really see his face. "Congratulations on everyone present for successfully graduating. However, this is only your first step into the ninja world. From today onwards you are official genin! You will be divided into teams of three and assigned jōnin instructors." He then looked at his clipboard, "Starting from team 1, we have.."

Yami vaguely paid attention to the team assignments. Honestly, he really didn't care, but you never knew what information could be useful. Teams of three genin and a jōnin instructor. That gave him an interesting idea.

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto," his ear twitched when he heard Naruto's name, "Haruno Sakura," he let out a groan, "Uchiha Sasuke," he let out an even louder groan. Out of everyone it had to be those two. He couldn't stand Sakura and while he didn't care about Sasuke, Naruto couldn't stand him.

"Is there a problem, Naruto?" He heard Iruka-sensei.

"No, I'm just letting the world know how excited I am at being on the same team as them." If sarcasm could've been used as ninjutsu**(6)**, he would've split the desk in half.

"Well Naruto, we've done our best to make the teams as balanced as possible," Iruka explained. "We went according to your scores and while Uchiha Sasuke finished at the top, you were dead last." There were a lot of snickers heard and while Yami really shouldn't have bothered, hearing Iruka-sensei of all people say that stung a little. He lifted his head and fixed the teacher with his eyes, noting with some pleasure the surprise.

"Yes, of course. Because the dead last would've been able to learn a B-class forbidden technique in an hour and use it to save a chūnin's life by beating another chūnin that had turned traitor," he said, making Iruka flinch. What was going on? Naruto rarely was this nasty and what was wrong with his eyes?

"Stop trying to act cool, Naruto! Like the dead last would've been able to do that," Sakura said out of habit before she realized this wasn't actually Naruto.

"It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, but Iruka-sensei should, since it was his life the supposed dead last saved." Yami didn't even bother looking at Sakura when he said that, much to her relief. There was a collective gasp and everyone looked at Iruka. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He supposed he could tell them, the incident wasn't exactly a secret. He kind of owed it to Naruto for calling him dead last like that.

"It's true. Your other instructor, Mizuki turned traitor and Naruto assisted with capturing him. I was late because the T&I Force needed my help with going over his belongings and his behavior for the past year." While technically the truth, he didn't really need to give them all the details. "It shouldn't have been done today, but Mizuki was in a coma because Naruto went a bit overboard." He looked at his blond student, "Sorry about that Naruto. The Hokage and the jōnin instructors are usually the ones that split the teams."

Yami just let out a snort, "Whatever," and rested his head in his arms again. He had half the mind to dispel himself, but decided to stay in the end.

"Moving on, Team 8 is consisted of Hyūga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino." Yami lifted a brow and looked towards the Hinata girl. She was a dark, weird girl that always looked away from Naruto. And true, the moment he met her eyes, she did just that. Yami didn't know her last name was Hyūga, but that meant she was a relative of Neji. And indeed, they had the same white pupil less eyes. She had short dark blue hair with chin-length strands framing her face. She wore a cream-coloured hooded jacket with the fire symbol on the upper right and left sleeves and fur around the cuffs and hem with a pair of navy blue pants and blue ninja sandals. Her forehead protector was worn around her neck.

"Team 10," damn it, he had missed Team 9 in his musings! "Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akimichi Chōji. That is all! I will introduce your jōnin instructors after lunch break, so make sure to come back here!"

Yami let out another snort. Well, it was time to mess with people some more. He made the Ram hand-seal and dispelled in a cloud of smoke, which once again gained everyone's attention.

"Was that a smoke shunshin?!" Ino asked bewildered.

Iruka knew better. He hadn't felt him gather chakra or the high-speed movement out of the classroom. That had been a clone dispelling.

Outside, Naruto and Naruko got Yami's memories and both let out a groan.

"Why Sasuke of all people?!" Naruto asked in exasperation.

"Seems we just have bad luck. Come on, Yami wants us to meet, the others will dispel soon as well," Naruko said.

Naruto went to the tree, where he sat down and rested his back to the trunk. He placed the bento box between his legs and nodded at Naruko, "See you on the other side."

She gave him a smile and dispelled while he closed his eyes.

**!~¡**

The corridor in their mindscape had changed since their first meeting. For one it wasn't a corridor anymore, but looked like a large hall room with pillars around the corners. On one wall were Naruto's, Naruko's and Honō's doors while on the opposite were Yami's, Sarge's and Kiyomi's. The right wall from Naruto's door held the barred gate that led to the Kyūbi's consciousness and the door with the green [EXIT] sign above it, while the wall to the left had a single barred door, that didn't even have a proper sign, but the word CATACOMBS painted in red on the wall itself. It contained the rest of Naruto's mind, which was in essence the sewer. The water was also gone from the hall and was replaced by solid floor and there was a round table in the middle, where Yami was currently sitting at. The ambience of the hall remained the same - it was still relatively dim, with the only light coming from several candles around the walls. Interestingly, all of the different aspects liked it, it's like they were in some cool secret society!

Five doors opened and the rest of the aspects came out along with Naruto. Everyone headed for the table and sat down. There was brief silence, as all of them went through Naruko's memories of the encounter with the Hokage and Yami's memories of the team placement. They spent a bit of time on Honō's, Sarge's, and Kiyomi's, but they weren't as important at the moment.

"I wonder who that masked ninja with the Old Man was," Naruto was the first to speak after they were done.

"His left eye was red and weird," Kiyomi said.

"Maybe the Hokage's personal guard?" Honō offered.

"It doesn't matter, he's probably no one of importance to us," Yami said.

"Does the visit change our plan?" Sarge asked.

"It was unexpected, but not really. It's interesting that the Hokage has a key to our apartment though," Yami said.

"Should we change the lock?" Naruko asked.

"It's not like we have anything that valuable," came from Naruto. "Besides, it's the Old Man, if he really wanted to get in, that wouldn't stop him. Him having the key at least means we won't have to repair the door later."

There were some amused chuckles heard.

"So what now?" Naruto asked.

"Just summon us and we continue to be our usual charming selves," Yami shrugged. "We should expect a visit from him tonight though."

"All right, let's go then!" Naruto jumped from his chair.

"One last thing," Yami said, as he stood up as well. "From now on, unless there's no opportunity or it's absolutely necessary, all important discussions must be led here. We can't be certain who could be eavesdropping on the outside and here there's no danger of that."

Everyone nodded their understanding and headed towards their rooms, with the exception of Naruto, who went to the [EXIT]. With a cheerful yell, he jumped through. It wasn't as scary after the first time.

**!~¡**

**(1) sh****ō****gi - **Japanese chess;  
><strong>(2) Shunshin no jutsu - <strong>literally meaning "Body Flicker technique"; a technique that allows the users to move short or long-distances at almost untraceable speed;  
><strong>(3) genjutsu - <strong>literally meaning "Illusionary techniques"; a type of techniques focused on attacking the target's mind with illusions;  
><strong>(4) bento - <strong>a single-portion takeout or home-packed meal;  
><strong>(5) ch<strong>**ū****nin - **literally meaning "middle ninja";  
><strong>(6) ninjutsu - <strong>literally meaning "Ninja techniques"; a type of techniques that allow the user to perform feats with the use of chakra that would normally be impossible; unlike genjutsu, the effects of ninjutsu are real;

**!~¡**

**Author's musings: This chapter went longer than I wanted.. Sorry about that ^_^'' Unfortunately, I couldn't cut it either since it was important for this to be in one chapter. I think MVP goes to Naruko, I certainly wouldn't want to cross her.**

**There are some of you that really like Yami, so I'll let you in on a little secret - I really like him as well! Honestly, I love all the aspects. Writing the synergy between them is incredibly fun, I'd like to think they're a large dysfunctional family that still finds a way to co-exist in the end. I was really excited though when Yami was introduced in the manga even if it was a cliché premise, and felt quite annoyed when nothing really came out of it. I mean, Naruto accepts him, accepts all the hatred and anger, accept "himself", but his behavior remains the same on top of it having no effect on the battle with the Ky****ū****bi. Why go through all the damn trouble, if Kushina would just appear to save him from all the hate with her love anyway? It could've been so awesome, Yami appearing instead and helping out. Oh well, that's one character development completely botched crossed off the list.**

**Next one is in the works, I wonder what shenanigans are we going to see from our favourite family? =o Thank you all for the favs, follows and wonderful comments! If you're enjoying yourselves, make sure to leave me more. What can I say, I'm greedy! XD**

**Ta-ta !~**

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	8. Chapter 8: An Uzumaki Family Dinner

**Author's musing: Hallo wonderful readers! 8 chapters in 4 weeks, I'm pretty proud of myself! But then again, this story is really fun to write. It also managed to pass quite a few benchmarks with the last chapter, over **100** reviews, **200** favs, **300** follows, and **14000 **hits! D= For this first.. monthyversary (what), I've decided to do something new and jump straight into the action! Don't worry, if you still want to read my ramblings and responses for whatever reason (I really can't imagine why), there'll be a note at the bottom.**

**Enjoy !~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

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**Chapter 8: An Uzumaki Family Dinner**

**!~¡**

One Kage Bunshin technique later and everyone was back in the real world.

"All right, let's dig in!" Naruto yelled happily and grabbed the bento. He noticed there was a small green book on top of it. "Huh? What's this?" he picked up.

"Um.. That's mine, Naruto-niisan," Kiyomi said, lifting her hand. "I didn't know what would happen to it when I dispelled, so I came over and left it here. I was pretty close anyway."

"We're not at school Kiyomi, you don't need to do that," Yami rolled his eyes and looked at the book. "Speed reading techniques? I thought I told you to look up chakra theory," he said.

"Ah, yes! And I managed to find a book and it was really big so uhm.. I thought maybe there is a way to read faster and I bought this one," Kiyomi explained, taking it from Naruto and doing her best not to look at Yami.

"Why would you want to read things faster?" Naruko asked in confusion.

"End the pain quickly?" Naruto offered, his mouth already full.

Murmurs of understanding came from everyone, except Kiyomi. She just sat next to Naruto and opened her book. She liked reading. Knowing how to do it faster would help her go through a book quickly so she could start on the next one. She decided not to share that particular motive with the others.

"Naruko, our beautiful flower! Your cooking is fantastic as usual! I can feel it filling me with youthful energies!" Honō yelled happily.

"It's nothing special Honō, just riceballs," despite saying that, Naruko still smiled. "I'm actually thinking about adding different things. Like salmon or tuna or even pork."

"Definitely pork!" came from both Naruto and Honō.

After carefully observing their reactions, Yami finally picked one himself. He doubted the bimbo would pull a stunt like last night's again, but he could never be too sure. It seemed like Sarge and Kiyomi weren't planning on risking it. It made sense, since they didn't really need the chakra after being just summoned.

"Who do you think we'll get as our instructor?" Naruko asked. She had decided not to eat as well, so there was more for Naruto. He did need the energy after being fueled on nothing but the damned fruit for the entire morning.

"Oh, I hope it's Gai-sensei!" Honō said.

"Yeah, that'd be pretty cool," Naruto agreed.

"He already has a team, dimwits. I doubt they'll give him another one. Then again, he doesn't really lack the energy."

"I think Morino-sensei would be a cool teacher," came from Sarge. He lit one of his cigars and took a big draw, immediately blowing the smoke.

"How can you even stand that?" Naruko waved her hand in front of her face.

"It's badass," Sarge shrugged. The others had to agree begrudgingly. They couldn't explain why, but somehow he looked it really well.

"Morino-sensei.. Is that the scarred old guy we saw at Orange World?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not that old," Ibiki murmured back at the Hokage tower, ignoring the Hokage's chuckle. The other jōnin had left for the Academy already. He was amazed at what he was seeing. In all his years as an interrogator and a psychologist, he had never encountered something like this. He was also surprised they were talking about him.

"The Head of the T&I Force?" Yami asked. That wouldn't actually be so bad.

"He was pretty scary with all those scars. I wonder how he got them," Naruko ran a thumb through one of her whisker marks. She definitely wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

"I know. I think we'd learn some cool stuff from him," Sarge said in what passed for his excited voice and tried making a smoke circle. Well, he really wanted to make a smoke shuriken, like Madame Sachiko had, but it was beyond him how she had managed to do it.

"You're just saying that cause you want to learn new ways to torture the regular clones. Did you have to be so rough, we still get their memories, y'know," Yami said annoyed.

Sarge shrugged. "They needed discipline. Besides, this way when a regular clone is summoned they'll know what is waiting for them if they don't follow orders," he said simply and laid on the ground. It was a nice sunny day with a clear blue sky.

"How's the exercise going?" Naruto asked Honō.

"I've managed to make three steps up the tree!" Honō yelled happily.

"Nice! I can't wait to try it myself, walking up trees would be so cool!" Naruto felt almost giddy at the prospect. He reached for another riceball but found the lid of the bento box shut.

"That's enough for now, the rest is for later," Naruko said ignoring the whines. "Come on, we should probably be going back to the classroom."

"Yosh! Let's have a friendly race!" Honō yelled and ran off. Naruto was immediately about to follow him, but felt someone tugging his jacket.

"Um, Niisan, is it okay if you keep the book I'm reading with you? That way nothing would happen to it if I got dispelled," Kiyomi asked him quietly, hiding the lower part of her face with her book.

"Sure thing!" Naruto grinned. The response would have probably been the same if she had asked him.. Well, mostly anything. There was something in the way she looked at him and her voice whenever she called him that, that stirred something deep in him. "Do you want me to take it now?"

"I'll still read a bit more. I'll give it to you after," she gave him another smile. He didn't need to look at her mouth to see it. It was all in her eyes.

"Come on, we should get back quick before Honō does something particularly.. youthful," Naruko joked.

Yami shot her a warning glare. While he tolerated the nincompoop saying or shouting that for at most five times per day, if anyone else started doing it as well, he'd make that a limit for the family as a whole. Right before they entered, he turned to Sarge, "You should put that out. I'm guessing the Academy is a no-smoking area and the last thing I want is getting scolded with actual reason."

Sarge rolled his eyes, but still extinguished the cigar on the wall, without saying a thing. He put it back in his mouth, he would save it for later.

Back at the classroom, most of the other genin had returned and had decided on sitting with their teams. There already were a couple of jōnin at the front who were talking quietly with each other. Everyone heard a loud noise coming from the corridor, before Naruto flew in through the back door wearing a green bodysuit. It definitely was Naruto this time, the eyes were the same, he even had his old green goggles on his forehead. The orange handle of the tantō was sticking out from his right orange leg warmer too.

"I win!" he yelled, pumping a fist in the air. He noticed he was the focus of every bit of attention available in the classroom. So he did the most sensible thing. He gave a thumbs up, a wink, and his shiniest smile.

Words weren't enough. That isn't to say there weren't any reactions. Almost all of the jōnin let out a groan accompanied by mutterings of "Damn it, Gai". Most of the genin had their jaws hanging. Shikamaru's eyes were slightly wider since anymore than that would've been too much trouble. Sakura and Sasuke were unable to look away. They were way too mesmerized, stupefied, fascinated, anxious and many other adjectives. Ino had a horrified look. This wasn't a mere crime. It was a fashion catastrophe. She didn't think it was possible for Naruto to do worse than his orange tracksuit. It seemed her unspoken thoughts had been seen as a challenge.

"This doesn't count!" a yell was heard as a second Naruto, one wearing his original attire, came in. "You just ran off!"

"It just seems all your youthful energies have been transferred into me, Head!" the green one said with a self-satisfied chuckle.

Ino had been wrong. This was the real catastrophe. There were two Naruto's wearing two of the worst possible insults to fashion. _"Make it three,"_ she thought when the not-Naruto from earlier came in. Then in came a fourth Naruto, that wiped all those thoughts. He had the red-eyes, coupled with an overall look that practically screamed mature, bad boy and damn it, even rad all at the same time. She had only used the last adjective to describe her Daddy and Sasuke. He even had an unlit cigar in his mouth! If she wasn't looking at it with her own eyes, she would've laughed if someone had told her Naruto could look like that.

"They're clones!" came from next to her. She turned and looked at Shikamaru whose back was straight from the realization.

"What?" she asked her new teammate.

"They're clones. Remember the Bunshin no jutsu?" he elaborated.

"But that jutsu creates illusionary copies of the user. Those are real bodies there, Red-eyes wouldn't have been able to hurt Sakura otherwise," Ino reasoned.

That didn't seem to stop Shikamaru, "The forbidden B-rank technique he learned. I bet it's a form of solid clone. He failed at creating the illusionary ones, but since he learnt how to make real ones he was passed as genin."

Ino still wasn't convinced. "Come on Shikamaru, this is Naruto we're talking about. Do you really think he was able to do something like that? The class clown slash idiot? And besides, that doesn't explain the girl."

"Girls," he corrected her. "And remember his Sexy technique? It fits perfectly."

She had a look of distaste on her face at the memory of the technique when she turned around to see what he meant. And indeed there were two girls. This time she could really see it. They were practically identical twins if you didn't count the different hairstyles. There was more to them too. She hadn't realized it earlier, but the first girl had a look known as the "French Maid". The other one was basically the "Librarian". She had learned about them during the seduction classes from the past year. But if they were his clones, how did Naruto even know about them, they were supposed to be for the girls only! Suddenly the understanding came that there was much more to Naruto than anyone had initially thought. She felt the urge to really take a peak.

"Don't even think about it," came from Shikamaru. He had read Ino's face like an open book.

"Hmm?" she asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about. It'll be dangerous if you go in his mind. Those clones mean there are basically six different personalities living in him. Your mindwalking technique may knock one of them out, but what will happen with the other five?" While mindwalking might've seemed outrageous to regular people and even some ninjas, Ino's clan practically specialized in that field of ninjtutsu.

"A quick peek shouldn't be that dangerous. I'll be in and out before he even knows it," Ino didn't even bother to hide it anymore. Her hands began to move but she stopped when Shikamaru grabbed them.

"Don't!" he warned her. His voice didn't really rise into a shout, but the intensity was there.

"What's wrong with you? Shouldn't it be too troublesome to stop me?" Ino shook her hands free.

"Compared to you poking your nose where it doesn't belong? You're officially the third most troublesome person I know," he said.

"What, only third?! Who're the other two?" For some reason Ino took it as an insult.

"My mom's second and Naruto's right at the top. He earned his rank when he found a way to make five more of himself." His face suddenly became pale. "Gods, I hope my mom doesn't know that technique. Or that you'll ever learn it!"

Whatever retort Ino would've produced, died out when they heard another commotion. They turned towards the Naruto's and saw one of the jōnin was the instigator this time. It was a fairly tall light-skinned woman with a slender build. She had shoulder-length black untamed hair and a pair of very intense red eyes that had a ring in the middle of the pupil. She had red lipstick and purple eye shadow that seemed to accentuate her fierce look. She was wearing a red mesh armour blouse that only had a right sleeve and a short dress on top of it that looked like it was made of very broad bandages. Her hands, elbows, and upper tights were wrapped in real bandages and she was wearing the standard Konoha forehead protector and blue ninja sandals. Currently she was holding the remnants of a crushed cigar in her hand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Yami asked in a very annoyed voice.

"This is a school building, there is no smoking here," the woman fixed him with her fierce eyes.

"It wasn't lit," came from Sarge. Somehow his voice seemed too calm despite the loss, as if making a casual observation.

"You're too young to smoke anyway!" the woman said.

"And who the hell are you to go around and crush people's possessions that were bought with their hard-earned money?!" Yami wasn't going to back down.

"Yūhi Kurenai, one of the jōnin instructors of the Leaf village," she replied calmly and put her other hand at her waist.

"Do you happen to be our instructor?" Yami asked.

Kurenai lifted a brow at the question but shook her head.

"Do you happen to be our mom?" Yami asked again.

"No!" she said in surprise.

"Then listen here Lady," Yami took out a kunai and tapped his forehead protector with it. "This means the Village has recognized us as legal adults. If we're considered old enough to jab this," he showed the kunai, "into other people's necks, then we're certainly old enough to do whatever the hell we want, including screw, drink and smoke. So go fuck yourself!" he said as he flipped her off. Yami had decided not to bother with censuring himself when it came to anyone besides the other Uzumaki's.

He suddenly found himself being jumped by four out of the five other members of the Uzumaki household.

"What the..?! Unhand me this instant you imbe-mmph.." his ability to talk was taken away by Naruko who had produced a duct-tape from her pouch and had started rolling it around his head and more importantly his mouth. He would've tried to resist, yet his ability to move was taken away by Naruto, Honō and Sarge, who were tying him with three different sets of ropes.

"Now Yami," Naruto said in a rushed whisper as he finished a knot, "let's not anger the scary jōnin lady."

"Sorry about that," Naruko laughed nervously and fiddled with her pigtails. For some reason she really didn't want to look at Kurenai's face at the moment, so her eyes were really scrunched from the huge smile she was sporting. "He hasn't had his fix on this special sauce I bought yesterday. He gets a bit jumpy and foul-mouthed when he goes too long without it. It won't happen again." She quickly followed the others, who were dragging a struggling Yami away to their earlier desk. Kiyomi, who was already sitting there, was hiding her completely red face in her palms and observing the whole thing through her fingers.

Kurenai, who had frozen still after Yami's advice to make use of her fertility, observed the whole thing. It seemed like Kiba wasn't the only one in need of a lesson on manners. She huffed and went back down to the other jōnin who were doing their best not to look at her.

The world let out the breath it was holding. It seemed like the Uzumaki's adventures wouldn't end so early in their lives or this story. At least not in this Universe. Their fate hadn't been as fortunate in the alternate universes, where Kurenai had decided it was best to start teaching proper manners immediately.

Thankfully, there were no more incidents until Iruka started assigning the teams their jōnin sensei. Kurenai sent the Uzumaki's one final look and noted with some satisfaction at least four of them squirmed under it. Ino and Shikamaru did the same, although without such a reaction or any reaction for that matter before they were led away by a large bearded man named Sarutobi Asuma. Iruka also joined in on the look giving and his was of the worried variety. He contemplated asking Naruto about the clones, but he figured that should be a private conversation. Instead, he decided to go to the Hokage.

That left the Uzumaki's with the rest of the members of Team 7 to wait for their sensei who seemed to be rather tardy. After ten minutes Sarge busted out a deck of cards and they started playing ninja poker. After much muffled yelling, Yami was permitted the use of one hand to hold his cards and to tap whenever he wanted to fold, call or raise. Of course, since this was different from regular poker, he lost almost every time.

"Should we release him?" Naruto asked after an hour. If it weren't for the rest of the Uzumaki's he would've probably gone nuts from waiting by now.

"I dunno.. I rather enjoy not hearing him talk," Naruko said as she leaned in slightly and took a peek at Honō's cards. He wasn't very good at the game. As she was doing that, she accidentally showed hers to the rest. "I raise 20," she said finally.

"Call!" came from Naruto, Kiyomi and Yami. At least according to his tapping.

Honō let out a sigh and put his cards down, "I fold." Sarge had a calculating look but he called as well.

Everyone put their cards down, with Naruko being last. "Four aces," she said with a large amount of satisfaction.

"What?! You didn't have that!" Naruto yelled.

"Oh my, did you accidentally see my cards? Cheating's not allowed you know," she winked and started gathering the money. Technically, the idea of ninja poker was to cheat or find out your opponent's hands without being caught.

"Two of your aces are of hearts," Sarge pointed out. "Not to mention I also have the ace of diamonds and Naruto has the ace of spades."

"There must've been duplicates in the deck," she shrugged. All of them noticed the little square shaped object in her cleavage when she did that. None of them were going to risk taking her second deck out and losing a limb. Well, Yami would've probably, but he was still slightly preoccupied. There were more muffled moans from him.

"Oh fine," Naruko rolled her eyes and started undoing the tape.

"** &*%#**!" he shot the moment he was able to. And immediately after found his mouth taped again.

"I think you meant "Sorry guys, I was a jerk and I love you all"," Naruko offered, doing her best to keep a straight face.

Yami flipped her off with his free hand.

"All right, all right, since you asked so nicely," she said and undid the tape again.

This time he settled for a focused glare. "Unbind me you pea-brained monkeys!"

"You know, for someone who is supposed to keep us from doing stupid things, you're not doing your job well," Naruto said while he was undoing the ropes.

"She pissed me off! I'm not going to let anyone walk over any of us!" Yami said angrily and flexed his arms and shoulders to get the feeling back.

As for the other members present of Team 7, Sakura and Sasuke were watching the scene with mixed feelings. By now they had figured out they were some kind of clones of Naruto, which just brought a whole slew of questions. So far they understood each one had an actual name, although they weren't sure which one belonged to who, since insults were thrown here and there as well. Sakura really doubted the one who had hurt her earlier was called "jerkface", even if it was an accurate description. For the first time since she knew Naruto she found herself in an interesting predicament. She wanted to approach him and have a little chat, but she was afraid of the reactions. Normally it was the other way around.

For Sasuke, it didn't really change much. Naruto was a dead last idiot no matter what anyone said and now there were just five more dead last idiots. Add that to the annoying loser girl that wouldn't stop pestering him and he already knew his team wasn't going to amount to much. Then again, no one could really compare to him.

Everyone heard footsteps approaching the classroom and the door slung open by someone familiar to the Uzumaki's. A relatively fit and tall man with gravity defying grey hair peaked in. He was wearing a facemask that covered his mouth and nose and his forehead protector was slung over his left eye, where the Uzumaki's knew he had a weird red eye and a big horizontal scar. The eye they could actually see was dark in colour and was giving off a rather bored look as it scanned the occupants of the classroom. His clothing consisted of the standard Konoha ninja uniform with the addition of shorter fingerless gloves with a metal plate on the backhand.

"Aaah!" Naruko shouted, pointing a finger at him. "It's the masked ninja that broke in our apartment with the Hokage! My first impression of you: you're a pervert!"

He focused his bored look on her. It was time to retaliate.

"Mah mah, sorry I'm late everyone. I decided to try this new type of salad for lunch that gave me horrible stomach pains. I would've been here earlier but I had to go to the hospital," he said.

The Uzumaki's all directed a look at Naruko, who was now nervously smiling and playing with her right pigtail. Sakura got the suspicion somehow she had something to do with it.

"I would've liked us to go to the roof, but I'm not feeling well enough to climb stairs. So let's go out for some fresh air," the man said.

They followed him and he took them out to the tree where the Uzumaki's had had their lunch. He sat down on the ground and leaned on the trunk and everyone followed his example, sitting in front of him.

"Well, let's begin by introducing ourselves," the jōnin said.

"What do you want to know?" Sakura asked.

"How about your likes, dislikes, dreams for the future, hobbies, things like that," the man said.

"Why don't you start first, Sensei. After all, you should at least introduce yourself to girls before you see them naked and you've already done the second bit," Naruko winked at him.

"He's what?!" surprisingly it came from Kiyomi.

"I may have been taking a shower and going around naked in the apartment when he made his visit. I didn't notice him and the Old Man until it was too late I'm afraid," Naruko let an exasperated sigh. They hadn't gone over that particular bit of her memories yet. She wasn't enraged as she should've been because for one, there was nothing she could do about the past and more importantly two: she could use this to mess with their Sensei, like she had done earlier.

"You're not the only one with that body you know! Don't just flaunt it around, you hussy!" Kiyomi on the other hand was uncharacteristically enraged. Her opinion of her Nēsan had cooled off after last night's spicy dinner and this little revelation didn't really improve it.

"What'd you call me?!" Naruko growled out.

"Ladies, no catfighting in front of our Sensei please," Yami said.

Kiyomi immediately blushed and looked away while Naruko did the same with a hmpf.

Kakashi cleared his throat delicately and gathered everyone's attention once more. "I guess I'll start first. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I have no intentions of telling you my likes, but I will tell you I dislike spicy food. Always hated it. If I have even a bit, it would spoil my appetite for the entire day." His bored eye shifted to Naruko as he said that.

"Oh Sensei," she wasn't planning on just taking that, "I guess I would have to get to know you more_ intimately_ so next time I can serve you something to your liking." She leaned in with a very mischievous look.

"As for my dream.. Hmm," Kakashi said thoughtfully, ignoring her. She didn't really have an effect on him this time, mostly because she was just a kid. He wouldn't let himself be caught off guard like last time. "I have a few hobbies."

"We didn't really learn anything about him," Sakura let out a sigh.

"Now then, how about the little collection of blonds," Kakashi said.

"Uzumaki Naruto is my name! I like ramen, Naruko's cooking and just spending time with everyone. I dislike being alone and the three minutes it takes for the instant cup ramen to get ready, but now I don't have to wait for that anymore!" he looked happily at Naruko. "As for my dream, I.." he paused. What was his dream? It wasn't the title of Hokage anymore. What he had really always longed for was a family and now he had that. But then, they were just clones. It wasn't a real family yet. "My dream is a secret," he said quietly with a small smile. Yes, that was a much better dream.

"What happened to being Hokage?" Sakura asked him surprised.

"I've found something more important, Sakura-chan," he said dismissively and turned to Yami. "You next."

Kakashi had been surprised to hear being Hokage had once been his dream. He wondered what his current dream was.

Yami let out a snort and rolled his eyes, "My name is Uzumaki Yami and I don't think I'll be sharing anything with anyone. Oh, I will say I dislike the villagers and anyone who's treating us badly," he sent a pointed look at Sakura.

Kakashi didn't react at all. From what he's observed so far, it was normal one of the clones would be like that.

"Sheesh, so broody. Okay, my turn next! I'm Uzumaki Naruko! I like cooking, cleaning and tending to plants! I don't like Yami cause he can be a mean jerk. I don't really have a dream, but I think I've found myself a new hobby related to a certain masked jōnin," she winked at Kakashi whose eye crinkled slightly in a smile before it returned to his usual bored expression. He probably really shouldn't encourage her, but ignoring her may be even worse.

"The Leaf's Handsome and Dashing Blond Devil, Uzumaki Honō at your service!" Honō said as he gave the "nice guy" pose. "It is nice to finally meet Gai-sensei's eternal rival! I enjoy training, especially with Gai-sensei and my dream for the future is to one day surpass him with my own flames of youth!" he pumped a fist in the air. Kakashi couldn't help but shudder. When the hell had Gai managed to get his clutches on this one?

"Uzumaki Sarge. I like cigars and trying to make objects out of the smoke. I dislike insubordination. My goal is to learn cool things from Morino-sensei. My hobby is finding new and unusual ways to tort.. I mean discipline my clones," Sarge said and tried making another smoke circle. He had lit a cigar the moment they had come out.

Kakashi shook his head. This one seemed to have some bad habits, he was a bit too young to be smoking. Then again it was just a clone. And what was that bit about Ibiki? It seemed the head of T&I was some sort of role model if he judged by the clothing and what was said. He shifted his eye to the last blonde who immediately looked away and hid her lower face with her book.

"Um.. My name is Uzumaki Kiyomi, I'm pleased to meet you," she bowed her head slightly. "I um.. I like reading books and learning new things from them," she looked nervously at the other Uzumaki's as if worried she might've offended them. "I don't like it when people treat books badly and I don't really have a dream or a hobby besides reading." The more she spoke, the quieter she became, until the last bit was barely a whisper, "I just want to be useful."

_"So this is where Naruto's shyness went.. and got multiplied. Well, this sure is an interesting bunch,"_ Kakashi thought as his eye swept over the Uzumaki's. Something told him life would be much more hectic from now on. Then it shifted towards Sasuke, "Next."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are a lot of things I dislike and I don't really like anything. And.. I can't really call it a dream.. But I have an ambition. The resurrection of my clan and.. To kill a certain man."

Sarge was observing the Uchiha thoughtfully while blowing some smoke in the air. He had to give him 9 out of 10 for that performance. The voice, the posture, the way his hands were locked and hiding his mouth while his eyes were looking straight ahead. It was no wonder girls like Sakura were blushing the way she was, with the whole dreamy look on her face. The only thing that marred the performance were the other Uzumaki's.

"I wonder who's the one he wants to kill," Naruto whispered to the others and since it was Naruto, it wasn't much of a whisper.

"Maybe you should use that head of yours for a change," Yami rolled his eyes.

"Or! Maybe we should ask him," Naruko gave a better idea.

"Yosh! Who it is you want to kill, Sasuke?" Honō was always up for executing good ideas.

"My brother.." Sasuke didn't even bother looking at them. He did see fit to add another dramatic pause.

Naruto's smile fell a bit. Everyone knew the story of the Uchiha massacre. Sasuke's brother, Uchiha Itachi, a ninja prodigy and heir of the Head of the clan, at the age of 13 went nuts one night and slaughtered every single member of the clan, including his own parents. The only survivor was his younger brother Sasuke and there were rumours at the time he had even done it in front of him. Naruto had sometimes felt guilty about the whole thing when he was younger.

_"Just as I thought,"_ Kakashi almost let out a sigh. His eye turned to the final member of team 7. "And lastly, the girl."

Sakura had wondered why Kakashi had bothered with Naruto's clones or how he even knew they had names. He hadn't been that surprised to see them at all come to think of it. Those musings were wiped out when it was Sasuke's turn and now that it was hers, "I'm Haruno Sakura! What I like is.. I mean the person I like is," she sent a look at Sasuke who just kept looking ahead, completely ignoring her. "And my hobby is.. Well, my dream for the future is.." she sent another look at the black-haired boy and let out a girlish squeal.

"Great, anyone got anything out of that besides she's obsessed with Sasuke?" Yami said in bored voice, earning a glare from Sakura.

"And? What do you hate?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto! Oh and Yami!" she joined in on the insanity.

_"It seems girls these days are more interested in boys than ninjutsu.. Oh well," _Kakashi thought. He was going to enjoy the next bit.

"All right! That's it for the introductions. You thre.. Hmm," Kakashi's eye swept over the Uzumaki's once again. "I meant you eight all have unique personalities, I like that. Tomorrow we'll start our duties as ninja."

"Yosh! My youthful energies are burning with anticipation!" Honō pumped a fist in the air.

"Yeah, what kind of duties we'll be doing?" Naruto joined in.

"If you two nimrods stop interrupting him, maybe we'll find out," Yami said annoyed, which made them shut up.

Kakashi silently thanked him. Looks like there was someone to keep the flames from burning too brightly, thank the Gods for that. "First we're going to do something with just the four of us," he paused. "Survival training.."

"Huh? Survival training? Why is our first duty training? Didn't we do enough training at the Academy already, sensei?" Sakura asked.

Yami looked at her strangely and surprisingly he was joined in by Sarge and Honō. "What, you think all the training we'll ever do is only in the Academy?" he asked her, genuinely bewildered. "That would stop our growth as ninja!"

"Um.. No, of course not! I was.. just confused a bit," Sakura said in embarrassment.

"That's right, Yami. But this isn't normal training. You'll be going up against me," Kakashi said and started chuckling evilly.

"Sensei is so mean, laughing like that to himself, without telling us," Naruko put a finger on her chin and directed a cute pout at him.

"When I tell you, you're all going to freak out," he said with satisfaction clear in his voice. "Out of the 27 graduates this year, only 9 will be chosen to become a genin. The rest will be sent back to the Academy. This training is a difficult exam with a failure rate of over 66%!"

Indeed, everyone had a surprised look at these news. Well, mostly everyone. Yami had preferred a frown and Sarge just took a deep draw from his cigar. Kakashi laughed again, "I told you you'd freak out!"

"Didn't we already have an exam to become genin?" Yami asked. "What was all that thing at the Academy then?"

"Oh that? That was just to see who has the chance to become genin. Anyway tomorrow you'll have to show me your real skills at the training ground. Bring all the shinobi tools you have. Oh and don't eat breakfast.. You might throw up," Kakashi said.

To his surprise Naruto let out a happy sigh at that. Naruko however narrowed her eyes. If he thought that would be an excuse to skip on his healthy breakfast, then he had another thing coming. She would double the serving just for his impudence. It was better to throw up then do survival training on an empty stomach anyway.

"The details are on this paper," Kakashi said handing them three sheets. Sakura clenched her fist in determination. If she failed, she would be separated from Sasuke. This was a test of love! Sasuke clenched his fist as well.. With the paper in it.

"Eeeeh?! There are some big words here!" Naruto said with all of the Uzumaki's huddled around him to look at the paper.

"Um.. Niisan, I can read it if you want?" Kiyomi offered.

"Sweet, you're the best, Kiyomi-chan!" Naruto yelled earning a smile.

"Well then, I'll see you all tomorrow. And don't be late!" Kakashi said and stood up. He felt the need for some theatrics. "Ugh! Seems like my stomach still isn't happy with me," he groaned and clutched his stomach in pain. "I think I'll be going back at home and having some rest. I hope this won't interfere with your exam tomorrow. Bye!" he waved at them and disappeared in a puff of smoke. He noted with no small amount of satisfaction the look of worry and guilt from Naruko.

After Kakashi had left, Sasuke stood up and headed off. Sakura did the same glancing one last time at the Uzumaki's, who were still huddled.

"Damn it, what are we going to do about this! We can't fail after everything!" Naruto yelled in exasperation.

"Don't worry, we won't," Yami said. "For this exam, we'll have your back." The others immediately offered their agreement and support. "Anyway, it's still rather early, so how about we do some training."

"Gai-sensei and his team have a mission out of the village today," Honō said.

"That's all right, we can just practice that cool exercise Gai-sensei showed us," Naruto said.

"And I think I know just the place where we can do that," Yami said, looking over the sheet of paper for the location of the training ground they would have their exam at tomorrow.

It was at the outskirts of the village, like the one team Gai uses. Unlike theirs it looked in a pristine condition, without any craters or destroyed trees. It consisted of a large clearing that was ran in the middle by a river and many trees surrounding it. In the distance a big metal fence could be seen with some mountains in the background. There were three trunks at the edge of the clearing and some stone with a flag near it across them.

"Is it all right to come here before that? It's not cheating, right?" Honō asked.

"If he didn't want us to do that, Kakashi-sensei should've told us about this place tomorrow. Besides, we're just scouting a head, a good ninja should be prepared," Yami dismissed his worry.

"All right, let's climb some trees!" Naruto yelled and headed for one.

"Yosh, I won't lose to you, Head!" Honō joined in.

"Prepare to get left in the dust boys," Naruko felt her competitive streak spiking. They all picked a tree, took out a kunai and started running up the trunks. Without using their hands. It was a chakra control exercise, where they were supposed to gather chakra at the soles of their feet and use it to stick to surfaces. They all managed to make four steps up before they fell off and landed on their feet.

Naruko looked up at the tall tree and grinned, "First one up top is crowned champion tree climber!" Yells of determination signified they accepted her challenge. Kiyomi observed them for a bit before she sat near their trees and opened her book.

"So what should we do, Vice?" Sarge asked.

"Vice?" Yami lifted a brow.

"Yeah, the way I figure is, you're second in command while the Boss is doing other stuff," Sarge drew from his cigar.

"Hmpf.. I think we should start by scouting the area and seeing what we're dealing with," Yami said.

Sarge gave a nod and took out an empty scroll. He drew a large circle and divided it in five, before he summoned five clones.

"Listen up, maggots! Your assignment is to each scout one of these areas and report back. Make sure you take into account every detail that could be useful in tomorrow's exercise. You have thirty minutes! Dismissed!" he barked out and the clones immediately ran off.

"Why were they different from you?" Yami asked slightly confused. None of the clones had the trench coat on.

"I'm the one that's in charge," Sarge shrugged.

"What? That's stupid, if they're different from you, the enemy will know you're the one giving the orders," Yami said. Wasn't this one supposed to be smart when it came to tactics at least? All he got was a smirk.

"I'm counting on it."

Yami was silent for a bit before he let out a slightly sinister chuckle. "I like the way you think. Let's go over some of the things you practiced this morning."

Sarge blew some smoke and took out another scroll. He unfurled it on the ground and started drawing on it while discussing formations and strategies. From time to time Yami would add something and they would change things. After 30 minutes the clones came back and dispelled and the two of them drew a rough sketch of the area on the first scroll. None of them had noticed one Hatake Kakashi laying on a tree branch with an open orange book. From time to time his eye would stop reading and observe the Uzumaki's.

He had to admit, he was quite pleasantly surprised. Of course, the whole thing about him eating the salad was a little white lie on his part. Fortunately, he had managed to catch whiff of the **"Flame-tongued sand lizard poison sauce extract" **with his very keen sense of smell. He had no clue why Naruko had decided it was a good idea to actually prepare food with it. The sauce was used by quite a few ninja as a weapon and by the T&I Force as an interrogation tool. Captives tended to get very talkative when all the food they were served had the sauce in it.

He had observed Naruto, Yami and Naruko in the classroom and even outside of it. All their interactions with each other, their peers, the incident with Kurenai, and he had even ventured a guess the bandaged wrist of Sakura had something to do with Yami, going by how the girl glanced at him every time she rubbed it.

He was skeptical about the clones at first. Not so much now. They all existed for the benefit of Naruto. He doubted the dead last would've come to scout ahead if he had been alone. Hell, even the Rookie of the Year hadn't thought of doing it. But that Yami was a shrewd one. And the others provided rivalry and companionship that was needed for growth. Things he would get from nowhere else.. He felt his fist clench around his precious book and immediately relaxed.

He kept observing them. At some point they all took a break to eat. Clones eating, who would've thought. But it seemed like that was how they restored their chakra so they didn't have to bother Naruto with summoning them again. Not that it would be an issue with his chakra reserves. Afterwards Yami and Sarge added Naruto into the discussion while the others kept doing what they were doing before. At some point Naruto finished with them and went to pick up Kiyomi. After a quiet exchange, he dragged her to the trees and she joined in on the tree-climbing. Kakashi somehow had the suspicion Gai had something to do with this. They were making relatively good progress, considering how much their chakra control sucked.

Their activities continued until it started getting dark and they decided it was time to go home. From time to time Naruto would have gone to Yami and Sarge to talk about something related to the scrolls until finally those two had joined on the tree-climbing race as well. After the Uzumaki's had left the training ground, Kakashi closed his book and went to the Hokage tower. It was time to make his report.

**!~¡**

Hiruzen leaned back in his armchair and stroked his goatee thoughtfully. While he had observed Naruto and his clones through his crystal ball from the moment he came back from the boy's apartment, it was always good to hear things from a different perspective. Add to it that Kakashi was one of his top jōnin, there was no doubt in the old Hokage's mind he would provide some good insights. Besides, he hadn't observed everything, he had stopped since the Kurenai incident since he did have some Hokage duties to attend to.

"That's good for the report Kakashi. But I want to hear your personal opinion on the matter," Hiruzen said.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "Honestly, Hokage-sama? From a tactical and ninja point of view, I think those clones will be quite beneficial to him. What I've gathered from Naruto is he's very hyperactive, impatient, loud and a bit dimwitted. He looks like the sort who acts first and if he's alive asks the questions. Some of the clones seem to be like that as well but.. They all have their different personalities and different points of view. If anything that should at least make him pause and offer him different perspectives. It takes many rookie ninja years to learn something like that, if they're lucky enough to even last that long."

"Mmmm.. That is indeed correct, Kakashi," Hiruzen said and drew from his pipe, stroking his beard again.

"There's more, Hokage-sama," Kakashi continued, "I don't know that much about the boy, but he seems genuinely happy around his clones. From his file, I gathered he was lonely and starved for attention. Now he receives their complete attention and they support him, whether it's simple things like cleaning or preparing healthy meals or the more complex ones, like educating him or motivating him through rivalry, although I don't think they even realize the last bit. It's like they are his best friends and the family that he truly needs."

"Do you support this then, Kakashi? If you do, it would mean you'll have at least five more people on your team, even if they are just clones," Hiruzen said.

"They will be a handful. Especially with Sasuke and Sakura. But as I've said, they are very beneficial to him and they might be beneficial for the team. I will do my best to handle them _if_ they end up passing my test.. I think I owe him at least that much," the last bit was said quietly, but Hiruzen still heard it. The old Hokage hummed again in thought.

"My concern Kakashi, is not entirely about Naruto. It is about the reactions of the villagers and the ninja forces to the Jinchūriki going insane and developing a split personality," he lifted his hand to halt Kakashi. "While I don't think of it myself like that, I am just offering how people will see it."

"With all due respect, Hokage-sama, I don't think it really matters by this point. Their opinion of him has always been bad, that is what drove him to this situation in the first place. At least now he has someone on his side, even if it is technically just himself still. Considering the other Jinchūriki one could argue we got off easy. All he wants is a family and he just created it himself," Kakashi replied.

"Or we may have gotten off worse. We know for certain that his clones' loyalty lie completely with Naruto. That doesn't mean it lies with Konoha, which means it all depends on Naruto's loyalty to the village. And I don't think he will want to make any bonds with the village if he already has what he considers his most important relationships," Hiruzen said.

"And whose fault is that, Hokage-sama? We can't really say he has given up when he has never been given incentive in the first place," Kakashi said.

"You are correct again, Kakashi," Hiruzen let out a sigh. He remained quiet for a while before he finally rose from his seat. "Ibiki has been quite intrigued by this case. His recommendation is to keep observing them for now. He agreed that they acted like a family. It would've been helpful if we had Gai's view on the matter as well. Unfortunately, he'll be back in the village tomorrow evening," he paused again for a bit. "I have decided, I will go meet them myself before I pass judgment on the matter. Either way, there will be a jōnin meeting tomorrow to inform you all of the situation and.. my decision. You are dismissed for now, Kakashi."

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi bowed his head and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Hiruzen locked his office and went out of the Hokage tower, before he used a shunshin to go to Naruto's building again. He looked up at the stairs and said, "Cat."

There was a very slight shift in the air behind him. Regular ninja probably wouldn't have been able to pick it, but he was the Hokage. He didn't need to turn around to see the agent kneeling.

"You are to observe the perimeter while I am in the apartment. Do not in any circumstances come inside, unless the situation becomes _special_" Hiruzen ordered.

"Understood, Hokage-sama," he heard before another shift in the air that signified the agent had disappeared to fulfill his orders. Hiruzen went up the stairs and knocked on the door of Naruto's apartment. He could hear loud voices from behind that quieted down. He waited for a bit and the door opened.

One of the female clones looked at him surprised. It wasn't the maid he had met earlier, if he wasn't mistaken this one was called Kiyomi.

"Hokage-sama," her surprise was evident in her voice as she bowed. "What can I do for you, Hokage-sama?"

It was impressive to see an entity that was a part of Naruto be this respectful.. And slightly worrying. "Evening, young lady. I was wondering if I could speak with Naruto?"

The girl bowed her head slightly, "Of course, Hokage-sama, I'll call him right away." She then turned towards the living room. "Naruto-niisan, the Hokage is here to see you." She backed away to be replaced by Naruto himself.

"Hey Old Man! How are you doing?" Naruto greeted him cheerfully.

"Hey Naruto my boy. I'm doing quite well, I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me for a trip to Ichiraku's tonight?" Hiruzen offered.

Naruto suddenly had a very guilty look. "Um.. Sorry Old Man, Naruko's already preparing dinner. You've met her earlier today, right?" Hiruzen couldn't believe Naruto was refusing Ichiraku ramen of all things. He briefly considering whether this was some elaborate genjutsu. "Oh, how about you join us?! One more person shouldn't be too much trouble."

"Are you sure, Naruto? I wouldn't want to intrude," Hiruzen said.

"Nonsense Old Man! Come in, come in!" Naruto just grinned at him.

The old Hokage did just that, taking his sandals this time before he entered the living room. He noticed Naruko was busy looking at the oven. Her eyes lifted up briefly to meet his and she smiled, giving him a wave before she continued whatever she was doing. Hiruzen then looked at the large dining table and saw all of Naruto's other clones sitting around it.

"Guess what everyone, the Old Man will join us for dinner!" Naruto said excited.

There was a cheer from Honō and a small smile from Kiyomi. Sarge just nodded towards the Hokage while Yami didn't give any outward reaction, opting to just rest his head in his hand. Naruto led him to the table where he pulled off a chair for him to sit. Hiruzen took it and Naruto sat right next to him.

"Pretty cool table, right?! I put it together by myself!" Naruto puffed his chest.

"Wasn't it the clones that did it, Head?" Honō asked.

"You could say that's why it was built so well, since the Boss didn't actually assemble it personally," Sarge made a rare joke and there were chuckles from around the table, including from Hiruzen.

"What a merry bunch you all are. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, you know who I am but I've only been introduced to Naruko I believe," Hiruzen looked towards the kitchen.

"Speaking of the bimbo, I'll go and make sure she knows we'll have an extra guest tonight," Yami said as he stood up and headed for the kitchen. He could hear Naruto's voice from behind him.

"That was Yami. He's really grumpy and sometimes he insults us, but legend has it he's pretty nice, somewhere deep deep down inside. I think the problem is he doesn't know where exactly himself."

Yami shook his head. He would get him for that.

"The Hokage will be staying for dinner," he told Naruko.

"Yeah, I think everyone in the building probably heard about that Yami. I'm not as dense as you think I am," she huffed.

"You're right, you're probably even denser," he ducked under a swipe made with a ladle. "So touchy! I'm just speaking the truth. On the bright side, the dress doesn't make you look fat at least."

"Gee, thanks Yami, you really know how to compliment a girl," she rolled her eyes and stirred the ramen. She had decided to try her hand at it tonight and hoped she would do it justice. Her worry was misplaced really, since if you gave Naruto something that was called ramen, he would gobble it down without a second question.

"I hope you've withheld from adding any special, exotic ingredients tonight," Yami said inspecting the salad with suspicion.

"Don't worry, I'm saving that for special occasions. Like when you make me one of your really nice compliments," she said with a smirk. It disappeared after a bit and she directed a look filled with worry at him. "Yami.."

"Don't worry about it, you're too young to get wrinkles," he waved dismissively. When he didn't receive a reply or another swipe with the ladle, he let out a sigh and met her eyes. "I told you, don't worry. Just stick to the plan and act naturally. I'll take care of the rest."

"I know I just.. I don't want to lose anyone.. Not even you," she said the last bit hastily and grabbed him into a hug.

Yami did his best not to snort. But he returned her hug. There were times to be himself and times to rely on that legendary hidden side of his Naruto spoke about. He needed Naruko to be her usual bimbo self tonight, he could spare a hug to achieve that. He would miss her as well, if something were to happen to her. Less people to rile up and insult then.

"Come on, we should get the table ready," Yami said and moved his arms away. Naruko sniffed and turned back to the pot.

"I need someone to set the dishes!" she yelled.

"Yosh! I am more than happy to assist you, Aneki!" Honō rushed into the kitchen.

"My my, he really has found a role model in Maito Gai," Hiruzen said.

"Gai-sensei's pretty amazing Old Man! We met him while he was doing 500 laps around Konoha! On his hands too!"

"He is quite the eccentric ninja, isn't he?" Hiruzen said.

"Yeah, it would've been cool to have him as a sensei I think. Too bad he already has a team. Oh and they're loud and dress like him too! Except that Neji, he was looking really pale when Honō met him," Naruto said.

Hiruzen couldn't keep his surprise from showing. If what Naruto had said was true, then Tenten was also wearing a green bodysuit? Damn, he was counting on her to keep the two green beasts of Konoha in check.

"We got this other weird sensei though, Kakashi. He's Gai-sensei's eternal rival, so he must be pretty strong too!" Naruto nodded to himself.

"Tell me Chief, does Morino-sensei have a team as well?" came from Sarge and Hiruzen guessed it was towards him. Were all of Naruto's clones going to address him in weird ways like the Original? At least Kiyomi was respectful.

"Oh, you have an interest in the Torture and Interrogation department?" Hiruzen asked.

Sarge shrugged, "I just think he's cool. Do you think I could ask him to teach me some stuff if he's free, Chief?"

Most of the people in Konoha or rather the world in general did their best to avoid a meeting with Ibiki even under good circumstances. There was no guarantee they could turn into bad circumstances after all. Leave it to a Naruto clone to actively try to do the opposite.

A green blur circled the table before it went back to the kitchen and everyone found a plate in front of them. It appeared for a second time and this time a bowl was added as well. The third time gave them their chopsticks and tableware. Hiruzen did his best to ignore it, since it seemed like the other Uzumaki's were doing that.

"Well, I think you can certainly try. There haven't been many candidates to study under Ibiki, so he might want to pass some of the things he knows down," Hiruzen said and put a finger up. A small flame lit at the tip and he used it to light his pipe.

"That was interesting, can you tell me how to do it?" Sarge asked, his interest peaked.

"It's a form of nature manipulation. You will learn it eventually," Hiruzen explained.

Yami, Naruko and Honō joined them at that point, each carrying different things. Hiruzen found a large pot with steaming ramen, a bowl of salad, the rice-cooker and a dish with what looked like some oven-baked salmon all arranged at the table.

"All this looks amazing, my girl," Hiruzen said bewildered. "Did you prepare all of it yourself?"

"It's not much really," she smiled nervously and looked away, fiddling with her hair. "Tonight's just a special occasion, that's all."

"Oh? And what's the occasion?" Hiruzen asked.

"We're official genin Old Man! Tomorrow we start our first duties!" Naruto tapped his forehead protector happily.

"Don't you need to pass Kakashi's test first, Naruto?" the old Hokage asked again.

"We do, but that's just part of our first duties! Don't worry Old Man, we'll ace it!" Naruto grinned, earning a chuckle from Hiruzen. At least Naruto was still the same.

Of course, no one would tell him the real reason for such a big meal was him actually. It was hard to be unreasonable or uncooperative on a full stomach after all. And there was the possibility that this could be their last meal together, so Naruko had gone all out.

"Now, let's eat!" Naruto moved to grab the ladle of the ramen pot. If Hiruzen wasn't the Hokage, with years of experience under his belt, he would've definitely missed the blur of the wooden spoon that whacked Naruto's hand.

"Eat your veggies first," Naruko said while smiling sweetly.

Naruto yelped, but did what he was told. There were other whacks that followed, accompanied with various comments such as "Manners, thank for the food first!", "Don't eat with your mouth open!", "Make sure to chew your food!", "Stop crying!", "Sit straight!", "Don't talk with your mouth full!", "Stop whining!", and many more.

Now Hiruzen understood what Naruko had meant earlier when she spoke about a wooden spoon. He was also doing his best not to burst out laughing and earn the ire of the spoon himself.

**!~¡**

"All in," Naruko said and piled her money at the middle.

"Fold," came from Naruto, Honō and Kiyomi.

Sarge drew from his cigar thoughtfully before folding as well.

"I call," Yami said.

Everyone looked at the Old Man. This time they were playing a variation of the ninja poker known as Senju hold'em, named after the famous First Hokage. Among the many feats he was known for like founding the Leaf village and taming the Tailed beasts, perhaps one of the more famous ones was inventing a new type of ninja poker. He was known as quite the gambler.

Hiruzen let out a puff of smoke and looked at the cards on the table. He just needed the nine of hearts to complete a Straight Flush. He knew Yami was aiming for the same thing but unfortunately for the youngster, Naruto was the one that had it and he was sitting right next to him. He let out a bigger puff of smoke, that masked the blur his hand made as he switched the cards.

"I call," he said confidently.

Yami cursed and dropped his cards, showing he had been really close. Hiruzen did the same and chuckled, "Looks like I still have some fight left in my old bones." He was about to bring the pile of money back to Daddy when a delicate cough interrupted him.

Naruko dropped her cards, showing the Ace and King of hearts. "I do believe I am a Royal," she said in the poshest voice she could muster.

Hiruzen almost dropped his pipe. "What the.. How the hell did you do that?! I'm sure you didn't use your second deck!" came from Yami.

"What can I say? I guess I'm just a lucky dame," Naruko made the piece sign and gathered all of her winnings. That was a massive understatement. Hiruzen was also sure she hadn't cheated, which meant she really had been that lucky. They really did share some of Naruto's qualities.

"I may have to bring you with me at the next Kage meeting, my dear," Hiruzen said with a sigh. He could practically see the Tsuchikage**(1)** blowing a gasket.

"What?! You play poker at the Kage meeting?!" Naruto yelled in surprise.

"Um.. Of course not, what gave you that idea! We don't bet on important decisions or anything of the sorts," Hiruzen tried to backtrack quickly, but their looks told him it was too late. "All right, we do. Sometimes! Not every time. You have to understand, the other Kage are rather hotheaded and stubborn. So a nice game of Senju hold'em is surprisingly good at solving some issues."

"Wait.. Is that why the First Hokage invented the game?!" Naruto asked in amazement.

_"Damn it, why does he have to be this perceptive at times like this,"_ Hiruzen thought. Oh well, he had already revealed a lot as it was. Might as well tell them the whole story. "This is a SSS-class secret, known only to the other Kage. It is practically passed down from one Kage to another. Oh I guess the Shodai's**(2)** granddaughter also knows about this and by proxy her old teammates from her genin days. You have to swear to me not to share it with anyone." He looked over each one of them and after receiving their nods, he finally spoke.

"As you know, Senju Hashirama was the founder of the Leaf village, along with Uchiha Madara by uniting the Senju and the Uchiha clans. After they had done that, clans from other countries decided to do the same and form their own villages. He was chosen as the First Hokage and the other villages picked their own Kage - the Kazekage**(3)** as the leader of the Hidden Sand village, the Raikage**(4)** as the leader of the Hidden Cloud village, the Tsuchikage as the leader of the Hidden Stone village, and the Mizukage**(5)** as the leader of the Hidden Mist village." Hiruzen paused to make sure they were all with him and surprisingly they were. Even if it wasn't Naruto's dream anymore, he still paid attention to anything related to the Kage.

"The Shodai organized the first meeting of the Five Kage. It was his attempt at starting peace talks between the new villagers. He was known for being able to tame the bijū**(6) **and having most of them under his possession. So as a peace offering he decided to distribute them between the villages. Now, as I've said before, the Kage can be quite hard-headed and stubborn. After three days of discussions, they still couldn't agree on who was to get which beast," Hiruzen took a breath and continued.

"Hashirama-sama was quite the gambler and ninja poker was one of his favourite games. So he invented this variation and the Five Kage used it to bet on the Tailed Beasts. Ever since then, whenever a dispute that could not be settled by normal means would arise at those meetings, the best way to solve them was by playing a game of Senju hold'em. Trust me, so far we've had three Great Ninja Wars, but if it hadn't been for that game, they would've been in the double digits."

All of the Uzumaki's were stricken at the revelation. It was quite the amazing story.. That also somehow marred the image they've had of the Kage.

"Anyway, that was the last game for me, it is getting rather late. I've had quite the time tonight, it certainly was a pleasure meeting all of you," the Hokage said as he stood up.

"It was a pleasure having you, Hokage-sama," Kiyomi stood up and bowed. She had figured it was up to her to at least keep some form of respect towards the old Leader.

"That's right Old Man, you should visit again sometime!" Naruto yelled as well.

"Indeed, I'm sure that can be arranged my boy," Hiruzen said as he headed for the door.

"I think it'd be a good idea if I escorted the Hokage home," Yami said as he followed them to the door.

"Thank you youngster, but I wouldn't want to trouble you like that," Hiruzen said and put his sandals on.

"It's no trouble at all, we can't have the Hokage going back home unescorted after he had dinner at our home," Yami said. He exchanged a look with Naruto that seemed to also exchange silent words. "You should get ready for bed, we have an early morning tomorrow for the test," he said aloud.

Really, Hiruzen wasn't surprised, he had been expecting something like that. Yami had spent the night observing him whenever the clone had thought he wasn't paying attention. Well, he was the Hokage for a reason. But this meant the serious talk was about to start and it was going to be with Yami out of all of the available options. The red-eyed clone put his sandals on and followed the Hokage outside into the warm night.

**!~¡**

**Bonus: Alternate Universes**

**_Somewhere in a distant, alternate universe #2_**

Kurenai narrowed her eyes into a Look. No one got away with saying something like that to her without taking responsibility!

"Oh shit," Yami realized his mistake a bit too late. "Quick, run interference while Naruto escapes!"

All the clones jumped at Kurenai, while Naruto jumped out of the window. He landed in a crouch and immediately shot into a run, only to have a close encounter with Kurenai's body.

"I think we need to have a talk about some proper manners, youngster," she pulled him by the ear and started walking away, dragging him with her.

**_Somewhere in a distant, alternate universe #3_**

**"Demonic Illusion: Thousand years of hell!" **Kurenai said after she made a few quick hand seals.

Yami suddenly felt the world spinning and found he was lying on the floor. When he stood up he found out everyone in the world had turned into Naruko. Including himself.

**_Somewhere in a distant, alternate universe #4_**

"You know, I'm sorry to say, but there's actually been a mistake," Kurenai said with a sweet smile.

"Huh?" the Uzumaki's looked up from restraining Yami.

"Yes, I think your Iruka-sensei got the names mixed up. Team 7 is consisted of Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, and Aburame Shino. While Team 8 is in fact made out of Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba, and Hyūga Hinata," her smile only grew and practically started dripping with sweetness. The dangerous kind that brought diabetes.

"You can't do that! Didn't the Hokage make the teams already?" Yami tried to find a way out.

"Oh, I'm sure the Hokage would agree there's been a mistake. In fact, let's go and talk to him right now," Kurenai blocked the last light at the end of the tunnel with her bright smile that at this moment rivaled even Gai's.

**!~¡**

**(1) Tsuchikage - **literally means "Earth Shadow";  
><strong>(2) Shodai <strong>- the First Hokage;  
><strong>(3) Kazekage - <strong>literally means "Wind Shadow";  
><strong>(4) Raikage - <strong>literally means "Lightning Shadow";**  
>(5) Mizukage - <strong>literally means "Water Shadow";  
><strong>(6) bij<strong>**ū**- literally means "Tailed Beasts".

**!~¡**

**Author's ramblings: I didn't plan for this chapter to end like that. I mean seriously, what kind of jerk would I be to inflict a cliffhanger like that to my wonderful readers!? D= Hm.. Don't answer that. Well, in all honesty, I really didn't plan for it to end like that. It just got too long again and I decided to cut it at the appropriate place. On the bright side, the next chapter has already been started and should be up in 2 days.. Maybe 3. =D**

**I'm so happy I have such wonderful readers! Thank you **SomethingSomethingFancy**, **Guest(5)**,** SihvTheJollyGreenGiant**,** Inheritance1990**,** idea-getthe**,** Gelasia Kidd**, **tastybigsexy**,** Telepath98(x2)**, **Tired guy**, **TazalTerminals**, **DPSS**, **Tango Charlie**,** GravityTonttu**, **Guest(6)**, **Remzal Von Enili**, **Guest(7)**,** Pr0xied**, **fred**, **fireforge92**, **Waldo Santiago**, **Paradox009**, **LordTicky**, **Tronop04**, and **Volodar Myru**! Now about the responses.. I have received some awesome questions and comments and if I answer them, I'll spoil the story. So I'm very sorry if your question hasn't been answered, don't think it's anything personal! All of your reviews make me happy and some even give me a good chuckle. Here we go:**

**SomethingSomethingFancy:** I haven't seen Sekirei so I can't say, sorry. If there is someone like Naruko there though, I might check it. If you're wondering about how Naruko's personality came to be, she's channeling some of my more illustrious ex-es.

**SihvTheJollyGreenGiant: **It's not, it's the regular version as well. I guess the comment was so rude, the site just cut it out by itself. It's either that or my Word. Anyway, what he said was

**idea-getthe: **They don't know mind invasion is possible.

**Telepath98: **Don't worry mate, I don't see it as a flame. The notes are part of my writing style, sometimes while I write I'd like to add some comments on the matter without breaking the flow too much, like the gut sense. I could cut off the Japanese translations, even though there were some things I still didn't know, like how the ranks had actual meanings. Besides, there would be more techniques in the future. I figured it shouldn't be too annoying for people, since they can just go over it and ignore the notes. If I get more comments about it, I might take them out. Thanks for the great review! **;)**

**DPSS: **Haha, I haven't thought about the hierarchy yet, but yours is pretty good. The way I figured is Naruko and Yami are the elder ones, who take care of Naruto and the rest and try to be the voice of reason. I hope as the story progresses, Naruto's place in the family will grow. As for the others, I think it's pretty spot on. In regards to your question, I don't think it's that unlikely. I'm really excited about it actually. I'll say no more.

**Tango Charlie: **When I was younger, I actually liked Sasuke quite a bit as well. I was really happy when he and Naruto were starting to become good friends. I even kept liking him in the Shippūden era, up to the point he decided to throw away his actual character depth for hatred. As for Sakura, there were few instances where I liked her. The fight with Sasori and when she lied to Naruto in Iron country and went to kill Sasuke herself are examples. I thought that was pretty cool and it was sad she came short. But in the beginning, they were all brats and I especially disliked her. As for the questions, they're all a big family and some might get some focus at times, others might not, it's a dynamic. Everyone will get their shot at character development, including Naruto.

**GravityTonttu: **I have plans for that. Mwahahahahahaha *cough*

**Guest(6): **Pairings are up in the air(not really), but that one is probably a no.

**Remzal Von Enili: **I have no idea. I'm serious, I actually haven't thought about it. **D= **I'm sure something absurdly funny will happen probably.

**Pr0xied: **I think Naruto ignores many things about himself, consciously and subconsciously. It's why his character has so much depth or at least potential for it. Yami just represents all that, he has always looked over his shoulder and took in everything that was ignored. That's how I always imagined it at least. **XD**

**And that's that! Thank you all again, it always brings a smile to my face when I see how much you like the story and ask me for faster updates. I think because of that, I'll try to have the next chapter ready in two days.**

**!~¡**


	9. Chapter 9: Uzumaki Rules

**Author's musings: Yikes! Sorry I'm late, a lot of things happened the past week. Had to go out of town, problems with the net and then the loss of a portion of the chapter, which I had to rewrite.. Anyway, I think I like putting responses and ramblings at the bottom so if you want to see those, there'll be there. I will say one thing though, since I'm still getting some reviews about it.**

**NOTE: There won't be any more personality clones. EVER. Those 5 are the only ones. At this point I don't have any plans for more and I don't know what could happen that would make me add more.**

**Also apologies for any mistakes, I'm posting this at 3 am again and I haven't slept in two days for reasons. I'll proof-read it when I wake up.**

**Enjoy!~**

**!~¡**

**The Cure for Loneliness**

**!~¡**

**Chapter 9: Uzumaki rules**

**!~¡**

It started as a chuckle that only grew in the following seconds into full blown laughter which managed to even catch the attention of some of the villagers.

"It's not funny, you know. I felt like my insides were burning! And since it wasn't direct physical damage, I couldn't even dispel," Yami said angrily.

"I still find it rather amusing. You must have really done something bad to that girl," Hiruzen said after he started breathing again.

"That's the worst part! It was all Naruto's fault and we were the ones that ate the damn salad in the end! I swear, those two will be the death of me. It may sound impossible, but if they continue with their stupidity I'm sure it'll be just a matter of time!" Yami folded his arms at his chest and looked away in a very Naruto-like manner.

The Hokage kept chuckling. It was a good thing he hadn't taken Naruko up on her offer. No doubt it would've been payback for going into Naruto's apartment uninvited. That girl could be really evil at times.

"And if they don't do it, I'm sure Honō's moronic behavior will. I had hopes for Sarge and he's all right normally, until he starts torturing his clones. He practically drowned one this morning to teach the others a lesson, but we all get their memories!" Yami kept complaining.

"Sounds like they're all a handful," the Hokage tried offering some sympathy, but Yami could tell his heart wasn't really into it. It was the constant chuckling.

"Kiyomi isn't really, but sometimes I get the feeling she doesn't listen to me either and just goes off and decides on things on her own. I think they're having a race to see who'll drive me insane first. Not that we aren't all insane anyway," he muttered the last part but the Hokage still head him. "They're all acting like family. So I wouldn't mind playing along and protecting that little dream, even if they're all idiots."

Hiruzen hummed his understanding and stroked his beard in thought. He could definitely see that after having dinner with them. The family part, not the idiot one, although he could see traces of that as well. Yami made a really good case.

"So what's the verdict, Old Man?" the clone asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, we're not that stupid. You probably had us watched ever since you met Naruko this morning. I could tell you already knew our names when you came to visit," Yami said. "Hey, I completely understand, you have to make sure everything is good with your weapon."

"What?" Hiruzen asked surprised.

Yami looked him straight in the eyes, "It's what we are to the village, isn't it?"

"Of course not!" Hiruzen almost yelled. "Why would you say something like that?!"

Yami let out a snort. "Jinchūriki. There's even a term for people like us. And you've said it yourself, the Kage bet on the Tailed Beasts during the First Kage meeting. I'm guessing they needed ways to contain and harness their power and we are what they came up with." He fixed the Hokage with his pupil-less eyes again. "What happened with the last one? The treatment of the villagers got too much and they finally broke?"

The Hokage didn't answer him but Yami didn't really need confirmation. It was a miracle the same hadn't happened with Naruto.

"And after your previous Jinchūriki let out the Fox, the village needed a new one quickly and the Fourth grabbed us. I'm sure it was an easy decision, no one would care for a nameless orphan after all."

"Don't you dare say that! Your parents loved you!" This time Hiruzen found himself shouting before he even realized it.

"So you _do _know who they were!" while Yami didn't say it in the form of a shout, there was note of the same outrage in his voice. "It's not much of a surprise, really. You already lied to us about the reason people hated us. It made even Naruto wonder what else you've lied about. Fortunately for you, he doesn't want to think about it." Yami paused. "Unfortunately for you, that's my job."

"I am everything Naruto ignores, consciously or subconsciously. So while he tried to bury those thoughts away, I couldn't help but obsess." Hiruzen's pale skin became slightly whiter. "You should've outright lied about that as well. Made up a nice little story how our father was some famous shinobi that died before we were born and that our mother died at childbirth. Gave us some fake names and maybe fake pictures to really tie things up. It's not like there's a shortage of blue-eyed blonds in the village. Hell, we had another one in our class. You could've even told us our mother was single and no one knew who our father was, would've definitely made it easier for the pictures."

Hiruzen looked around. Thankfully, they had entered the park at this point and there weren't any people around at this time of night. This was a dangerous conversation and while he had suspicions on what Yami wanted to talk about, he never expected things to go in this direction.

"But then.. If you knew them and they indeed loved us, the implications of that aren't that good for you. Because no loving parent would let anyone do to their child what was done to us. Unless they weren't given a choice! What was the reason we were picked?! I doubt the Fourth just found some infant on the street, there was meaning in picking us! Were they traitors?! Was it some kind of sick punishment for something they did?! Are they still alive then?!" Yami shouted these and other questions one after another. Questions that had plagued Naruto's mind years ago and that had plagued Yami himself once his Creator had started burying them deep down. It was hard being the repressed side of someone like that. It didn't take much to tip you over the edge.

Hiruzen listened to the shouts with closed eyes and did his best to ignore the feelings they brought. There were so many 'what if's' flying around in his mind, but it was really too late for that. Yami's reaction was expected, the only cause for surprise here was Hiruzen always thought it would come from Naruto and not a split personality of his. It was really fortunate there were no bystanders and if they were, he hoped Tenzō and the rest of his bodyguards did their jobs properly.

Yami took a deep breath and did his best to calm himself down. He looked back at Hiruzen, "Don't worry, Hokage, there is still light in the tunnel for you. Naruto doesn't have to know about this conversation."

"You're a clone," Hiruzen observed.

"If you're worried about the memory transfer thing, it won't be a problem. I've prepared ways for Naruto not to find out. I do want some privacy from time to time after all," Yami grumbled.

"And what would you gain by that? From what I've observed of the other personalities, you all have Naruto's best interests in mind. How would lying to him help him?" Hiruzen asked skeptically.

"All of us are different parts of his personality and desires. Naruko is his need for someone to take care of him; Honō is his determination to train in order to protect us.. or his insanity, I'm not sure; Sarge is his silent side, no matter how absurd it seems we actually have one; and Kiyomi.. Well, she's the reason I exist. What kind of person do you have to be to tell a five year old child they don't deserve bed time stories and they'll never get one because no one would ever want to take care of them?" That chilled Hiruzen's blood. He looked at Yami disbelievingly and felt his mouth open and close, not sure what to say exactly.

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore really," Yami waved it off dismissively. "You are right, we do have his best interests in mind. We all care for him in our own way and we all want him to be happy. It is our real purpose, to be the family he has always wanted and deserved. He's happy now and telling him this would spoil it. Because believe it or not, despite everything you've lied about, he still considers you one of his close people. So no, I won't tell him about this conversation. Are you going to tell me about our parents now?"

Hiruzen went to one of the benches and sat down. He took out his pipe and lit it, before drawing thoughtfully. "I'm sorry Yami, I can't. Not yet," he finally said.

"Why? Were they really traitors? Is that another reason everyone hates us? Why would it matter if you told us! Afraid we'll turn traitor as well?!"

"Would you?" Hiruzen asked.

"Would you blame us?" Yami asked angrily and stilled. This was dangerous territory now, perhaps a slightly gentler approach would be better. "Naruto loves the village for whatever reason. He's too happy-go-lucky to turn traitor. If he wasn't, he probably would've ran away years ago. And we'll stick to him, no matter what. So I suppose you're safe to keep on lying and hiding things."

Hiruzen slowly drew from his pipe again. No, it was still too early. With the way thing were there was no telling how Naruto and his clones would react to the truth. He would tell them at the right moment, and this wasn't it.

"Yami, as the village leader I have to consider many things. There is a lot you and Naruto still don't know yet, many secrets lurking in the shadows, just waiting for the opportune moment to come out and harm Konoha. Revealing the truth now would have an impact on many things, both inside and outside of the village. I will tell you when the time is right," he said with a finality that suggested the matter was closed for now. "I will say this, your parents weren't traitors. They were considered as some of the Leaf's greatest ninja and they did love you."

Yami narrowed his eyes and looked away. He wasn't buying it. "Fine. This isn't what I wanted to talk to you about anyway. I have a proposal for you, I think will be beneficial for both the village and Naruto."

Hiruzen lifted a brow and leaned backwards. "I'm listening."

"I can already guess how most people will react to us. Oh, the Kyūbi Jinchūriki went nuts, he really is a monster! What will happen to the village! We should lock him up!" Yami said in a mock high-pitched voice while he waved his hands in panic. "Idiots," he rolled his eyes, "but it's understandable. People fear monsters, especially the ones they created themselves. I want you to let us be, to let us keep what little semblance of family and happiness we have. In return, we'll be your obedient little weapon, ready to go to the frontlines and be used in whatever little wars you end up having."

Hiruzen was shocked at the way Yami had worded everything and was silent for a while. Yami took it as him considering the offer, so he decided to add, "I know you might not really need to accept something like this. You're the great Hokage after all. I'm doing it because as unlikely as it sounds, I want to believe Naruto might be right for a change. He still believes there's a trace of the kind old man before all the lies and secrets, left in you. The kind old man that cares for everyone in the village equally, including the Jinchūriki. We're still a part of Konoha, no matter how much everyone wants to ignore that."

Hiruzen felt the years weighing down on his shoulders. He really considered seeking even his wayward student and offering him the Hokage title. He was a candidate years ago, maybe Orochimaru would still have the desire for the title and to lead the village, somewhere deep beneath the vile snake that he was. They certainly deserved each other.

"And is Naruto okay with that offer?" he asked.

"Naruto may be a dimwit, but he has learned a long time ago that in order to receive something, you have to give something in return," Yami answered.

"And the others?"

"You don't need to concern yourself with us. We will do whatever is needed for him," Yami shrugged.

Hiruzen took a deep breath and let it out. In all honesty, he had already made up his mind since the moment he had first met Naruko. After everything, Naruto did deserve some happiness and a family and the boy had figured out a way to get them himself. It's how things always went with Naruto. He would eventually figure out a way to do it on his own. "All right, I accept," he said finally.

Yami nodded and offered him his hand. Hiruzen looked at it for a fraction of a moment before he took it. "Is that all, Yami?"

"No actually. Two things. I was wondering if you would let us take a peek at the Forbidden scrolls. Naruto didn't read everything about the Kage Bunshin no jutsu. It would make things easier for us."

"I'm afraid that isn't possible. After Naruto stole it, the scroll has been hidden in a safe place. Besides, you said it yourself, in order to receive something you have to offer something in return and right now I don't think you have anything to offer me," Hiruzen said.

Yami let out a growl and frowned at the Hokage. Well, it didn't matter, they would just keep finding things out by themselves. "Do we have to be on a team with Sasuke and Sakura? Why can't we just be a team of our own, we would work better like that anyway."

Hiruzen thought about it only for a moment. "There are many reasons for that. First of all, Konoha cells usually operate into teams of three or four. That is especially true for genin teams which consist of three genin and a jōnin instructor. If Naruto went on a team of his own, there would be no one to replace him on Team 7. Secondly, I would have to assign a jōnin instructor just for one genin and that is not something that is beneficial for the village. Thirdly, even if you have your own personalities, you are still just clones with all their vulnerabilities. Lastly, bonding with your teammates is an important part of being a Konoha shinobi. I think it would be good for everyone if Naruto and the rest of you made some lasting bonds with the village. It would definitely ease the tensions."

Yami shook his head in disbelief. "Do you even know who our teammates are? Uchiha Sasuke, who Naruto can't even talk to without some sort of animosity, that is mutual by the way, and Haruno Sakura who treats us exactly the same way and is obsessed with Sasuke. I doubt team bonding with us will be at the top of their priority list.

"Nevertheless," Hiruzen said and that was that. No one could say anything on a matter after a nevertheless.

"Fine then! Be like that, I won't escort you back to your house in that case!" Yami pouted and looked away, which made Hiruzen chuckle. He really did like the other personalities, which wasn't much of a surprise since he liked Naruto. They all had their own flavor.

"Oh, I'm sure an old man like me should manage something like that. Especially since it's right over there," Hiruzen pointed at the park exit.

"Hmpf, see you later than, you old loon!" Yami yelled and dispelled.

Hiruzen chuckled again and stood up. One thing was for sure, life would definitely get more hectic for the village. He went on his way, reaching the Hokage tower. He didn't go to the floor of his quarters immediately though. He passed by his office first and after activating a sealing array, the Forbidden scroll appeared with a puff of smoke on his desk. He unfurled it, opening it on the bit that held the information of the Kage Bunshin no jutsu.

**!~¡**

The first one to speak was Naruko. "You lied to him, we can't keep our memories from Naruto. Not if he really wants to see them."

They were all sitting at the round table in Naruto's mind and they had just finished going over Yami's conversation with the Hokage.

"Of course I did. Every single thing could be an advantage for us and the less people know and the more they misunderstand about our abilities, the better. The Hokage may be more lenient with information if he thinks it won't reach Naruto. As it was just proven," Yami said.

"Why did you do that?!" Naruto asked angrily.

"What, lie to him? I just explained it," Yami said.

"No, why did you have to bring up our parents! We didn't have to know that! I didn't.." he stopped and looked away.

"Is that what you really think?" Yami asked. No one said anything for a while and Naruto looked back at the middle of the table.

"I did it because I've been thinking about it ever since you created me," Yami said. "I did it, because this was something we would have to face eventually. And the sooner we did that, the better. Naruto.." he paused closing his eyes for a bit. He didn't like talking about this. He opened them and looked at the Creator, finding he was looking at him as well. "If we're going to be a real family, we can't have any secrets between us. If there's anything that can break a family up, it's that. There are enough people keeping things from us as it is. I did it because I wanted to show you that and most importantly, because you want to know as well."

"Fine, you win. We shouldn't trust the Old Man or anyone else for that matter. You were right. Happy now?" Naruto asked angrily.

"No, but hearing you admit it is a start," Yami smiled wickedly.

Naruto frowned and looked away.

"So what should we do about this?" Sarge asked.

"Nothing," said Yami.

"Nothing?" came from a surprised Kiyomi.

"We just keep acting as if everything is normal. Life moves on, makes lemonade, all that shit. Just make sure you always keep this in the back of your mind - take everything with a grain of salt," Yami said and almost slapped himself. He shouldn't have used that expression.

"It means not to believe everything we hear. To always doubt and question things and to never trust anyone," Kiyomi explained and everyone else ooh-ed in understanding.

"But that's horrible!" Honō said.

"Well, luckily for you, it's why you have me. I'll be the skeptic, so you can all feel free to believe people blindly. You can always count on me to point out your stupidity. Always." The last word held a promise of a lifetime in it.

"Aren't we lucky," Naruko rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Yes you are." Yami wasn't just a master of using sarcasm, he was extremely skilled when it came to evading it as well. "You're welcome, by the way."

There were at least three glares directed at him. Yami smiled. It wasn't all bad.

**!~¡**

The next morning found the members of team 7 walking towards the meeting spot for their training. At least Sakura and Sasuke were. A still sleeping Naruto was being carried by Honō and Sarge, while Yami, Naruko and Kiyomi were each carrying a large backpack.

"Yosh! We have successfully reached our destination!" Honō yelled, lifting his hands in the air and subsequently dropping Naruto to the ground. There was a "whoops" heard from him.

Sakura felt her hand itch to pound the green-clad idiot. No one should be this loud and chirpy at such an early time. Even more infuriating was that Naruto was still sleeping, despite all of it! That seemed to be problematic for his clones as well.

"Niisan still hasn't woken up," Kiyomi said while pinching and pulling his cheek. Her hand was swatted away and there were words on the subject of five more minutes.

"I think I know a solution," Yami said, eyeing the river.

"That's a definite no, his clothes would get wet!" Naruko said.

"You're right, we should take them off first," Yami said. The Uzumaki's murmured between each other before they went to the shore, undressed Naruto and deposited him in the water.

The following scream resonated throughout all of Konoha. A second after he had touched the surface of the water, Naruto was propelled by some strange inner force back onto the shore.

"W-w-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-t-t-t-the f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f.." he wasn't even able to finish from the shivers wracking his body. He was immediately wrapped with a few towels by Naruko and Kiyomi. Honō had already brought some wood and Sarge was busy making a fire. So naturally, Yami gave the explanation.

**"**Hey, good to see you're finally awake!" he said in a very cheerful voice. "You forgot your morning shower so we helped you with that."

A trembling finger emerged from underneath the towels. It was pretty obvious which one it was.

"Come on, move closer to the fire while I prepare breakfast," Naruko said as she took out a bag with apples from one of the backpacks.

"Kakashi-sensei told us not to eat breakfast," Sakura said as she and Sasuke approached them. Even if Konoha was in the middle of Fire country, early mornings were still a bit chilly so a spot near a fire was the preferred location. She was surprised to see Naruto sending her a look of gratitude that was immediately squashed when Naruko spoke.

"I don't see him here. What time is it anyway?"

Sarge shuffled through one of the backpacks and produced an alarm clock with a kunai sticking from it. The arrows were frozen at 4:30.

"It probably took us about 20 minutes to come here and wake Naruto up, so my guess is we should have 10 or so before he arrives," he said and took out a cigar. He grabbed a stick, poked it in the fire and used the flame on its tip to light it.

"If he isn't late like yesterday," Yami grumbled.

"Why did you guys bring so many backpacks anyway?" Sakura asked as she sat down and set her own bag to the side. Sasuke did the same and like her, he only had one.

"Hatake-sensei said to bring all of our equipment," Sarge shrugged and blew some smoke over their heads.

"Ugh, can you not do that?" Sakura asked him annoyed.

Sarge turned to her and took a deep breath. He moved the cigar away from his mouth out and gave her a calculating look. Sakura edged a bit, expecting him to say something. Instead the clone just ignored her, looking away and blowing some smoke. For the second time today Sakura felt her hands itch.

For a while after the only sound heard was from Naruto who was grumbling as he ate his peeled apples. It seemed their sensei was going to be tardy again.

"I'm still so cold," Naruto said. He wasn't shivering as much at least.

"Oh fine, I suppose you should have something warm," Naruko took an actual kettle from one of the backpacks and gave it to Honō who went to fill it with water. She also took out a few cups of instant ramen. Naruto's eyes practically shone when he saw them. "Don't think this will happen too often, we'll need energy for something like survival training," she quickly added.

Sakura couldn't help but look hungrily at the cups. She had not only obeyed Kakashi-sensei's instruction not to eat breakfast, but she had also skipped dinner in a moment of insanity.

Naruko caught her look. "You guys want some? We've brought plenty for everyone."

Yami frowned but before he could say anything Sasuke grunted and shook his head. Sakura was really tempted, but in the end she quietly said, "I'm on a diet and we were told not to.."

"Suit yourself, I'll just leave these here," Naruko shrugged and put two cups to the side.

By the time Naruto was slurping the noodles from his third cup, Sakura had already caved. No one could watch the way the blond devoured food and keep their resolve. Sasuke was the exception to the rule, since he stoically braved on through the hunger.

"Ah, that hit the spot! All right, let's do stuff!" Naruto stood up refilled with energy and warmth, followed immediately by an excited Honō. There was a slight problem however. More like a chain of problems. First, the towels fell to the ground from the speed of his movement. Second, he was still naked underneath them. Sasuke immediately looked away, while Sakura didn't. Her eyes bulged and she swallowed the un-chewed noodles in her mouth heavily at the shock.

"Anyone else feeling a draft?" Naruto asked in confusion.

Many screams of embarrassments and lots of blushing later, a fully clothed Naruto was racing with Honō and Naruko around the field. He would've probably been turned into a bloody heap if Sakura wasn't scared of Yami. Instead she was just staring at the fire, trying to burn the image from her mind. Well, it wasn't that bad really, but she would've preferred seeing Sasuke like that, not Naruto of all people. As for the Uchiha, he had remained silent throughout the whole episode, choosing to ponder on what he had done to deserve being put on a team with so many weird idiots. Kiyomi had taken a book out and Yami had opted to just lay down and take a nap, while Sarge had gone off and had summoned a couple of clones for whatever reason.

Such was the state Kakashi found his team when he finally appeared a couple of hours later. He had a rather restful sleep, only disturbed by some loud scream around 5 in the morning. He wondered what kind of lunatic did that. Normally the answer would've been Gai, but the eccentric beast of Konoha was still away on a mission with his team.

"Hey guys, good morning!" he waved at them. He was also carrying a backpack with him.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura screamed angrily at him. Naruto opened his eyes, which showed it wasn't actually Naruto and joined Sasuke in the glaring.

Kakashi's eye crinkled from a smile. "Yeah, there was a black cat that crossed my path so.."

Yami grunted with annoyance before he dispelled. Kiyomi put her book in one of the backpacks and did the same. A few more puffs were heard from the clearing and the woods, before Naruto appeared out of them. It was still a surprise to see that, even if Sakura and Sasuke had already figured out they were clones.

"You're late, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled, pointing a finger at the jōnin. Kakashi smiled again and went to the three wooden posts. The Uzumaki's had already disposed of the evidence that some of them had indeed had breakfast, but he still noticed the extra backpacks. Dismissing it for now, he took out a big alarm clock from his own and put it on the post. Seeing that, Naruto immediately summoned the rest of his clones.

"All right, the clock is set for noon," Kakashi said. He took out a pair of bells tied to some string, "Your task is to take these from me before the time is up. Those who don't have a bell by noon get no lunch. I'll tie you to those stumps and eat in front of you."

Sasuke felt his stomach grumble. So that's why he had told them not to eat breakfast. Sakura on the other hand was incredibly glad she took Naruko up on her offer. Yami was a rude jerk, Sarge was a cold prick, Honō was a loud idiot, Naruto was a shameless perv, but at least the female portion of his clones seemed normal enough. Ignoring their attire of course.

"You only need to get one bell to pass and get lunch. And since there are only two, at least one of you will definitely fail and get tied to a stump. They will also be sent back to the Academy."

The atmosphere around the genin immediately tensed. Yami narrowed his eyes. Hadn't the Hokage said genin teams operated with four people and that there wouldn't have been anyone to replace them if they had gone on their own? He felt his rage rising. Had that been just another lie as well?!

"You can use your weapons for this exercise. You won't succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill," Kakashi finished, tying the bells to his belt.

"Are you sure Sensei? There's a lot more of us than you, you'll be in trouble if we come at you seriously," Naruto said.

"In the real world, those with no talent often bark the loudest. Just ignore mister dead last and start when I say.." Kakashi replied calmly.

Naruto's anger spiked and he took out a kunai, ready to charge at Kakashi. An instant later he found his arm twisted by the jōnin with the kunai pointing at the back of his head. No one had even managed to catch Kakashi move. One second he was in front of them, the next he was behind Naruto.

"Don't be so hasty, I haven't said "start" yet.." Kakashi said but his eye widened in surprise. Naruto was engulfed in smoke and replaced by Sarge whose left hand was still held by Kakashi. His right one was already slashing with the tantō. That wasn't the only attack, Yami was charging with a kunai from his right while Honō was flying at him with a kick. So they used Kawarimi to bail Naruto out. Well, they weren't the only ones who could use that technique.

Sarge's tantō was the first to hit, this time however it was Kakashi that was engulfed in smoke to be replaced by Yami. The clone screamed in pain, which doubled when Honō hit him with the kick, before he finally dispelled. Kakashi who was now occupying Yami's spot noticed Naruko and Kiyomi were standing between him and Naruto, with various pointy objects sticking between their fingers. Bail out and immediately protect the Original, that was pretty good. It looked like Naruto was going to charge him again, before a shout halted him.

"Naruto, stop!" came from Sarge. "We aren't at full force." Naruto nodded and summoned Yami back next to him.

"Not bad," Kakashi said. "It seems you're really prepared to come at me with the intent to kill. So you've finally taken me seriously. Well then.. Begin!"

Kakashi jumped away, putting distance between him and the genin. The most important thing for a shinobi was the ability to conceal their presence and hide well. It seemed his team was doing that well. At least Sasuke and Sakura were. Kakashi felt his jaw drop when he saw the Uzumaki's had huddled together and were discussing something into hushed murmurs. He could still make out things like "He's the real deal" and "definitely Gai-sensei's eternal rival". He felt his shoulders drop a bit at that. Maybe he should talk to them about spending too much time with Gai.

"Um.. I think you're a bit off compared to the rest," Kakashi said. They all looked at him silently and went back to their huddle, the murmurs only intensifying. Kakashi shrugged and took a little orange book from his weapon pouch. The title read "Make-Out Paradise".

"Hey hey, he's reading a book now. He's really underestimating us," Naruto whispered angrily.

"I wonder what it's about," Naruko said.

"Probably a book filled with youthful techniques!" Honō added.

"All right, Kiyomi. After we're done here your first task is to find that book and read it. It must be something huge if a jōnin of his calibre is reading it while doing an exercise where he told us to go at him with the intent to kill," Yami said receiving a determined nod from Kiyomi.

"So what should we do about him?" Naruto poked his head slightly from the huddle to look at Kakashi. Yep, still reading. He was even giggling.

"I have a plan. It's called "trick the one-eyed ninja and steal the bells from him".. I'm still working on the name," Sarge said.

"That's fine, let's hear it," Yami said.

Kakashi looked up from his book. The Uzumaki's were still in a huddle, even after ten minutes had passed. Well, now they were crouching and the smoking one was drawing things on the ground with a stick. He doubted it would be anything effective but maybe he should check it out. He nonchalantly walked over and looked from over their heads.

"Once we get him to come here, we'll attack from this side and lure him into the pit of snakes. Then we dump the bag of cats over his head and I think we'll be set. Any questions?"

"Um.." Kiyomi hesitated, "and that's when we are going to get the bells?"

Sarge gave her a blank look. "What bells? Oh! Right, well.." he looked over his diagrams, "yes, that's when."

"To recap," Yami was pinching the bridge of his nose, "You want me and Naruko to go to a pet store and buy a bunch of cats and snakes, while Naruto and Honō dig out a pit? And you and Kiyomi will be distracting him until then?"

"Yep, pretty good plan, right?" Sarge asked with a smile.

The Uzumaki's looked at each other.

"I think it's a sound plan," Naruto said.

"I like the part where I have to go pick some cute kittens," came from Naruko.

"I like the part where we had to dig a pit," Honō said enthusiastically.

"Yes, you and hard physical labor. It's not much of a surprise," Yami rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure this will work?" Kiyomi asked worriedly.

"Well.."

"It does sound like an interesting plan. I think you should try it," Kakashi chimed in.

Sarge looked at him, "You really think so? I'm not sure about the part where we set the trees on fire.."

"Oh definitely, you'll never know what will work," Kakashi nodded. He hadn't heard about that one. His hand shot out and stopped Yami's only a centimeter away from the bells. "See, this was a good try."

All of the Uzumaki's jumped him but Kakashi was already a couple of meters away.

"Damn it, plan "trick the one-eyed ninja and steal the bells from him" didn't work," Naruto yelled in frustration.

"It's fine, I have plan B ready," Sarge said. He summoned a clone and put his cigar out on its forehead. The clone let out a scream and dispelled, making all of the Uzumaki's wince.

"Must you do that!" Yami said angrily.

"I didn't have a way to put it out," Sarge shrugged. To Kakashi it seemed that one seemed to be especially cruel at times. While true, Sarge had also transmitted plan "overwhelm the one-eyed ninja with numbers and explosions" with that.

Naruto made five regular clones and they all charged Kakashi with Honō at the front. Kakashi noticed everyone spread into pairs with the exception of Naruto, Yami and Sarge. The latter two had once again positioned themselves in front of the original. He didn't have much time to think about it as he was forced to start dodging and weaving around punches, kicks, swipes, grapples and even headbutts. Naruto's taijutsu**(1)** wasn't the greatest from what he had read in his file, but it definitely wasn't as bad. Perhaps Gai had helped with his stance.

Still it couldn't match up to someone like him. Ten seconds later and all of the attacking clones were dispelled. Kakashi let out one more giggle as he kept reading his book. Another six clones attacked him and again he dispatched them without breaking a sweat. This time a pair of shuriken were thrown at him as well, courtesy of the two female clones. Without even looking up, Kakashi simply caught them with two fingers. That was when things started going wrong.

He only had a fraction of a second to react after he had realized they weren't really shuriken. A puff of smoke revealed the transformation and two Honō's tried to grab him. Kakashi dropped his book and quickly made the sign for Kawarimi. It seemed like they hadn't learned their lesson. This time he chose Kiyomi and smiled when he saw her get tackled. That wasn't bad for a surprise attack. Speaking of those..

"Gotcha Sensei!" Naruko shouted in an overly happy voice as she hugged him. Kakashi groaned. This again? Maybe the girl wasn't clear on the "come at me with the intent to kill" part. He looked down and spotted a very sadistic smile. His eye widened when he heard the sound of explosive notes about to go off.

Naruto, Yami and Sarge approached the crater after the giant explosion. The only thing that remained was Kakashi's jōnin jacket in tatters wrapped around a tree log.

"What the hell?! That was too big, I thought she liked Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled.

Kakashi who was hiding in the bushes shuddered. If that was her liking him, he really wouldn't want to get on the girl's bad side. Still, their plan had been really good, filled with deceptions and surprises. They had also split into pairs so in case he switched himself with one of them, there would be a second one to catch him with an explosive surprise. Honō must've made the clones that transformed into shuriken while they were huddled. That's probably when they had layered themselves with explosive notes as well. They had adapted quite well. So was that even the real Naruto with Yami and Sarge? Well, he was about to find out.

"Look! He dropped a bell!" Naruto yelled and pointed at something that was shining on the ground. He was about to rush over it, but Yami held him by the shoulder. He looked towards Sarge who started making quick hand seals.

Kakashi swore, he should have expected that. In a burst of speed he appeared in front of the bell and reached to grab it. It was too late, instead he met a very familiar sadistic smile courtesy of Sarge this time, coupled with the familiar sound of explosive notes. Unfortunately for Kakashi, there was only one thing on the field he could replace himself with this time. The clones were too risky and the log with his jacket was at his feet technically.

After the explosion cleared, Naruto's happy yells could be heard.

"We did it!" he whooped a few times in the air.

Kakashi did his best not to look at the crater that had gotten even bigger. It was important not to cry at this moment.

"Good job, Naruto. You passed!" he made sure to sound cheerful. "Can I have it back?" he extended a hand.

Naruto was going to give it to him but frowned. "Wait.. Didn't you say we had to have one when the alarm sounded? I think I'll hold onto this one, Kakashi-sensei!" Yami smirked. It seemed like last night's lesson was already taking effect.

Kakashi also gave him an eye-smile. It was good to see Yami wasn't the only sharp one. "Very well, Naruto," he chuckled. "Feel free to go sit at the stumps until the time's up. Now it's your teammates' tu.." he was rudely interrupted by several kunai and shuriken that stabbed him in the face, belonging to one Sasuke Uchiha. Until a puff of smoke revealed the log with his jōnin vest in his place.

**!~¡**

The Uzumaki's were sitting around the middle stump. On their sides, Sakura and Sasuke were tied to the other two. Both of them had rather solemn looks. At least Sakura did, Sasuke's was more in the form of a permanent glare. Out of everyone possible, he had been outdone by the dead last of his class, the loud orange wearing idiot and his insane clones. To say it was a huge blow to his pride and ego would be putting it lightly. Now a traitorous voice began telling him that yes, Naruto may have in fact defeated a chūnin before he had even graduated and may have in fact learned a B-class technique in an hour. Because Naruto and his clones had also managed to get a bell from their jōnin instructor.

If Sasuke's self-esteem had taken such a blow, then Sakura's was practically non-existent. The only things she had managed to accomplish during this exercise were screaming, fainting twice and hugging Sasuke. The stupid, useless Naruto had managed to accomplish the task, while she and Sasuke, the tops of their graduation class had failed. Miserably.

Kakashi stood in front of his charges, with his hands in his pockets. This was a small mess, to say the least. It was his fault for underestimating the Uzumaki's, he really shouldn't have. Yet they had still managed to display enough skill and initiative to take advantage of his mistake. And that by itself was commendable.

"Well, if this is what the dead lasts of the Academy are capable of, then I think they should probably re-evaluate their grading system. I'll definitely make a report to the Hokage, especially considering you two," Kakashi's eye swept over each one of them. The Uzumaki's reaction ranged from huge grins to self-satisfied and shy smiles. Sasuke's glare intensified while Sakura only withdrew further into the stump. "The collection of blonds managed to complete the task, so they pass. I underestimated them, yet that was my own mishap. But don't worry you two, you won't have to go back to the Academy."

"Huh?" Sakura lifted her head with confused hope clear in her eyes. "Really? All I did was pass out.. Was that enough?" Sasuke on the other hand was smirking. "So wait, that means we.."

"Yep! You two should quit being ninja," Kakashi gave them one of his eye-smiles.

That felt like a slap to the face _and_ a bucket of cold water poured over them at the same time.

"Wh.. What?" Sakura asked bewildered.

"I'm a bit disappointed actually. None of you figured out the answer to this test, not even the blond society over there," Kakashi let out a sigh.

"What?! What meaning of the test? We got the bell, didn't we?" Naruto yelled.

"Teamwork, isn't it?" Yami said quietly, his expression back to his usual frown. While they were waiting for the test to finish, he had spent some time thinking on the conversation with the Hokage last night as well as their earlier meeting with Kakashi. "We were meant to work together. If out of 27 genin only 9 can pass, then you can't fail only one or two of us with a test. We'd have to fail or pass collectively, as a team."

"Ah, so one of you did figure it out," Kakashi said. It wasn't really surprising who it was.

"So what's the deal then? We should be able to pass then, Naruto and the rest of us used teamwork amongst ourselves and managed to get a bell, didn't we?!" he asked angrily.

"You did and you're right, it was all thanks to teamwork, even if you didn't know the purpose of this test at the time. Unfortunately, even if you did pass, the others didn't. You don't really have a team, which means you'll probably be held in the reserves until a slot opens somewhere," Kakashi said calmly.

"But why?! We could be our own team!" Naruto protested.

"No we can't," came from Yami surprisingly. "Even if we can work together, we're still just clones Naruto. I hate to say it, but the Hokage was right. They probably wouldn't let us go on anything but D-rank missions if it was just us."

"Damn it!" Naruto yelled and slammed a fist in the ground. Even after everything, they still couldn't catch a break! At least they earned their official ninja status but what use would it be if they couldn't even go on missions?

Kakashi observed them all before he turned towards the big stone with the flag. It was black and in the form of a sun clock, with a small circle around it. "The life of a ninja isn't just fun and games. It's not a place for brats who can't work together with their teammates or don't want to support each other. This is the memorial stone. It has the names of many ninja of Konoha carved in it." His hand touched the stone and traced a few of them. "It is to honour their sacrifice for the village. They were all killed in action."

If Kakashi had turned around, he would've seen he had his genin's full attention. They were watching him like hypnotized, drinking his every movement. Except for Yami. His focus was on the stone. A sudden thought had crashed into him.

"The names of my best friends are carved here.." he said quietly, but everyone still heard him. He turned back towards them. "Tell you what. You blonds did actually impress me and one of you even managed to figure out the purpose of the test. Maybe if you had one more real teammate, we could make a case with the Hokage to let you be a team. The catch however is," he tossed the second bell at them and Naruto grabbed it, "you have to pick your other teammate."

Everyone looked at the bell. The Uzumaki's then looked amongst each other, before they all stood up and faced Sasuke and Sakura.

"Hmm..." came from Sarge.

"There's nothing to think about, let's pick Sakura-chan!" Naruto said much to the surprise of the tied people. Well, not really.

"I think I agree. She might be extremely rude, but Sasuke's just an outright ass," Naruko said.

"What are you talking about! I should get the second bell, I was close to getting it myself anyway!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruko took out her duct tape and put some on his mouth. "Shhh, quiet now, the adults are talking," she said with a smile, patting him on the cheek." Sasuke really wished he had the power to incinerate people with his eyes at that moment. He would do _anything_ for it.

"Don't do that to Sasuke-kun, you wench!" Sakura shouted automatically.

Naruko frowned at her. "I think I've changed my mind, can't we just wait in the reserves?"

"Nonsense, Aneki! I think Sakura is showing her youthful solidarity for her beloved! Her dedication moves my heart deeply!" Honō yelled and took the duct tape from the stupefied Naruko. He placed some on Sakura's mouth and gave her a "nice guy" pose. "There, now you can share the silence together, beautiful Sakura!"

The Universe decided it was her moment to intervene and the sound of crickets chirping echoed in the clearing. The worst part was, there was no doubt that Honō was sincere when he had said that. Yami contemplated whether there was a way to leave him behind as well.

"Anyway," he brought them back to the task at hand. "I actually disagree with picking Sakura."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" came from Naruto.

"Come on Naruto, you may not want to admit it, but we both know Sasuke is the better ninja. It would be good to have someone we could actually rely on in our team. Even if he is a self-centered jerk," he added the last part as an afterthought.

"But but.." Naruto was speechless. Never in a million years would he have thought there was a part of him that would actually prefer Sasuke to Sakura.

"I think I'm inclined to agree, Boss," Sarge blew some smoke in the air. "Strategically speaking a team is as strong as its weakest link. Uchiha-san did finish as the top of the class, that should count for something. Even if he is a stuck-up prick."

Sasuke would definitely find a way to it. Make flames with his eyes _and_ make them impossible to extinguish. Something told him the colour black would be appropriate for them too.

"No! No way are we going to be on a team with that stuck-up bastard!" Naruto stubbornly locked his hands at his chest.

"Even Sakura is better than him!" Naruko supported him.

"Perhaps we should have a competition between them to determine whose flames burn the brightest?"

"Shut up, Honō, that's stupid," came from Yami.

And the Uzumaki's began arguing. It was an interesting affair. All of them talked at the same time while constantly changing the person they were talking to. Kakashi watched with fascination. It wasn't every day you could actually witness an internal monologue. The others from team 7 shared his fascination, although it was amidst other emotions. For Sasuke it was anger that his fate was at the hands of the class clown and that said class clown had even recognized his abilities. For Sakura it was shame. While she appreciated Naruto coming to her support, the others had said less favourable things, some of which an inner voice was inclined to agree with, since it was Sasuke-kun that was really the better between them. She was in a bad situation really, she would either pass as a genin and be on a team with the Uzumaki's or fail and face the walk of shame back to the Academy. Sakura felt tears pooling at her eyes. Talk about a lose-lose situation.

The only one not participating in the argument was Kiyomi. She made a few attempts to say something that were promptly ignored through the shouting. She finally had enough, and snatching the bell from Naruto she yelled, "Quiet!"

Everyone fulfilled her request and began staring at her. Suddenly Kiyomi felt like she had done something wrong.

"Um.. Well, I was just thinking.. Um.." she hesitated, avoiding everyone's eyes, especially Yami's, "Maybe we could uh.. Pick both of them?" she offered weakly. The staring continued. "Uh.. You know.. I just thought that way everyone would be happy," she finished quietly and closed her eyes.

"Kiyomi.." Naruto was the first to break the silence. "That's brilliant!"

"Huh?" she managed in her surprise.

"You're right, everyone wins that way!" Naruto said and nodded a few times.

"I suppose everyone has their good ideas from time to time," Naruko flicked one of her pig-tails. Damn it, she should've thought of that! She shouldn't let her little sister outdo her!

"That is a very good solution indeed! As expected of our Kiyomi!" Honō yelled, pumping his fists in the air. Sarge settled for a much tamer agreement in a simple nod.

"Are you all stupid?" Yami rubbed the sides of his head. "Kakashi-sensei said we could only pick one!"

"Well, maybe we can convince him," Naruto said and turned to Kakashi. "How about it Kakashi-sensei? Can't they both just pass with us? I think we got the whole teamwork thing."

_"Heh.. Not bad. They really did find the right answer," _Kakashi thought. "Well.. I suppose you could take the test again. But! That would mean you already completing it won't count. Either all of you pass.. Or all of you fail."

The Uzumaki's huddled.

"This is insane," Yami whispered. "We're talking about letting go of what's tame to go and chase the wild!"

"That means.." Kiyomi started but she was interrupted by Naruko.

"Yeah, we got it."

"Come on Yami, it's not that bad," Naruto tried to convince him.

"Yes it is! It's being together with those two at the same time! Being in the reserves would be better!"

"If we failed, maybe we could convince the Old Man to let us stay in the reserves. We did get the bell the first time."

"You're insane!" Yami threw his hands in the air. "And stupid! The lot of you!" But then he palmed his face and said with a sigh, "And so am I for agreeing." The others let out a cheer. Unfortunately, Yami had to agree that was probably the only way, considering the whole teamwork thing.

"All right Kakashi-sensei, we agree," Naruto said and tossed his bell to him. Kiyomi did the same with the other one.

"Good. And what about the other two?" Kakashi looked at them. He received a pair of nods, since the duct tape didn't allow for much else. "All right, we'll do the test again after lunch. Since the blonds did actually accomplish the task the first time, they get to eat. The others are to remain tied to the stumps without any food. If you break that rule you'll be disqualified and sent to the Academy without even getting a chance," Kakashi said and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Not even ten seconds passed before the Uzumaki's looked at each other. Nodding, Naruko went to Sasuke and removed the duct tape in a sharp, clean move that made him yelp. She winked at him and went to Sakura. Hers was removed with a lot more care. Then she cut her ropes.

"Come on, time to eat," Naruko said.

"But.. Kakashi-sensei's rule.." Sakura muttered as a bento box was thrust in her hands.

"We're Uzumaki, you brainjuice," Yami folded his arms. "We make our own rules."

Sakura looked hesitantly towards Sasuke, who was frowning at his bento.

"Come on, Kakashi-sensei isn't here. When he comes back he'll see two finished lunches, he won't know _who_ ate them," Naruko rolled her eyes.

"We'll need all the energy we have to beat someone like him, especially you, Uchiha-san," came from Sarge.

Sasuke's stomach made its opinion on the matter known as well. That seemed to be enough as he finally dug in, followed closely by Sakura. She lifted her head after a few bites, "Aren't you guys hungry as well?" Kakashi had brought only two bento boxes.

Naruko grinned and made a piece sign, "We also make our own lunches." She produced a box three times bigger than theirs from one of the backpacks and opened it. "Behold! Naruko-chan's super special deluxe triple portion bento box!" It was immediately whisked away to be exiled forever in the pit known as Naruto's stomach.

"While we eat, we should go over some plans," Sarge unfurled yesterday's scroll with their surroundings between them. "We didn't have time to make proper traps, but maybe now we can."

"When did you make this?" Sasuke asked.

"Yesterday. We decided to scout the area during our practice," Yami said, kneeling next to Sarge.

Sasuke smirked. Perhaps this teamwork thing wasn't a complete waste of time. Especially if you had someone reliable, unlike the pink-haired screech. Sasuke still couldn't believe she passed out and left him to dig himself out of the ground.

"Such a nice scene," Kakashi's voice froze their spines. Everyone turned to see him standing on top of one of the stumps. "It's good to see you three working together.. and disobeying my rules." He disappeared from the stump and appeared in front of them. He took in their frightened faces and did his best not to cackle. "You pass!" he said happily with an eye smile.

The numb silence was broken by Naruto. "Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"

"You are my first team to do that. Everyone until now did exactly as I told them and followed my rule. They were just idiots that couldn't think for themselves." He looked up at the sky, "In the ninja world, those who break the rules are trash. But those who abandon their friends are even worse than trash."

Silence followed his words as everyone thought over them. Well.. Not really.

"Sensei's so cool," Naruko said with stars in her eyes.

"Right! He might be even cooler than Gai-sensei!" Naruto agreed.

"No way, Gai-sensei is the best!" Honō protested loudly.

"They may be cool, but I think the title of real badass goes to Morino-sensei," Sarge stated.

Kakashi shook his head. He was probably the first jōnin in the history of.. well ever, that technically had eight genin under him. On the bright side, at least six of them understood his lesson about teamwork.. The other two probably did as well. Hm.. He wondered what would've happened if had tied Naruto to the stump?

"All right everyone, from tomorrow we'll be starting our first missions! Good job!" he gave a big thumbs up. "You have the rest of the day off! We'll meet at the bridge near the Hokage tower at 8."

"Yosh! Let's have a race to training ground 27 and tell Gai-sensei!" Honō picked a backpack and ran off, immediately followed by Naruto, "I won't let you win this time!"

"Ooooh, I've been wanting to meet him for a while now," Naruko said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei. Sorry about your jacket, I'll try to make it up to you," she winked at him while sticking her tongue out, before she headed off.

Kakashi suddenly had a bad feeling along with another thought. Maybe he could delegate some of the blonds to Gai, since they seemed fond of him and he didn't have a shortage of energy.

"Wait, we don't know if he's even back," Yami tried to be the voice of reason but it was all in vain.

"Might as well roll with it Vice, there's no stopping them," Sarge lit his cigar again. "I'd join you, but there's something I've been meaning to do for a while. And now that we're official genin.." he trailed off and headed in a different direction. "I'll catch you later tonight. You know how to reach me." He waved with his arm as he walked away.

Yami let out a sigh and looked at the last backpack. His plans for a relaxing nap after this stupid test had been foiled. He picked it up and headed after Kiyomi, who had started walking towards training ground 27 as well.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei," Kakashi heard Sakura from his side. "What's up with Naruto and the others? He couldn't even make a single bunshin in the Academy and now he can make solid ones.. And they're a bit weird."

Kakashi noticed the question had caught Sasuke's attention as well. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He wasn't sure what to tell them really. Was the truth a good idea at the moment? What if they thought less of him and it screwed with the team dynamic? Then again, there wasn't much of a team dynamic at the moment.

"Sakura.. To answer that question, you have to try and understand Naruto. What do you know about him?" Kakashi asked.

"Well.. He is loud and really obnoxious! He never studied or paid attention in class. Oh and he constantly pulled pranks and caused trouble for everyone! I guess it's easy for him since he has no parents to scold him. Hmph, must be nice having no one to tell you to do your chores or constantly tell you what to do," she said in annoyance, putting her hands at her hips.

Kakashi shook his head. This girl really didn't know anything. Sasuke was much more vocal in his annoyance.

"Talking like you understand everything. Having to do chores and being scolded.. That can't even compare to the pain of loneliness he's living with. Sakura.. You're really annoying," he growled out.

"Sa.. Sasuke-kun.." the girl said in surprise, but he wasn't even looking at her anymore. He had a shocked expression as he looked at Kakashi.

"That's why they exist, isn't it? Naruto created those clones exactly because of that."

Kakashi's only reply was in the form of a nod. Sakura was confused at first before she realized it as well and looked at the direction the Uzumaki's had disappeared to. Her conscious suddenly slapped her with the full weight of what she had just said. She felt light-headed from shame and embarrassment.

"Well, don't let it depress you too much. Seems like things are working out for the best," Kakashi's voice was heard. It did little to ease the giant lump she felt in her throat. "Anyway, I'll see you two tomorrow. Don't be late!" he said cheerfully.

Sasuke grunted and headed for home and Sakura did the same, walking numbly towards the village.

Kakashi waited until they were out of the training grounds and immediately ran off to the crater. He kneeled on the ground with the ashes of his beloved book falling through his fingers. A weep echoed through the clearing.

**!~¡**

Koharu shook her head. "Such shameful behaviour. Why are all of our top ninja some type of perverts?" she looked at Hiruzen, who felt he was somehow included in her grouping.

He let out a puff of smoke and waved off over his crystal ball. He and the two members of the Konoha Council had just finished watching the test of team 7. Utatane Koharu and Mitokado Homura. The Council's purpose was to help the Hokage when there were important decisions and matters to discuss. Like the one of Uzumaki Naruto and his clones.

"You know, I was thinking about the same thing myself recently, Koharu," Hiruzen said. "I guess we all need some sort of outlet."

"This troubles me, Hiruzen," Homura said, and the other two knew he didn't mean Kakashi's perverted hobby.

"It is quite the surprise. However, I have personally met with the different personalities. They all seem like nice children that could support Naruto."

"The real question is whether this matter would harm Konoha in the long run if we left it unsupervised," Koharu spoke.

"I'm sure Kakashi will fulfill that role. He is one of our top operatives," Hiruzen said.

"Kakashi's job was already hard with both Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto on his team. Now he has to deal with this on top.. I worry it might be too much, even for him," Koharu said.

Hiruzen put his pipe down and looked at his old teammates. "All right, we've been through these kinds of conversations many times. Speak."

"We should consider all of our options," Homura stated calmly. "An unstable Jinchūriki could prove disastrous for the village. We cannot have a repeat of the Kyūbi attack from 13 years ago."

"We don't even know what they are capable of. If they are clones, it should mean they are exact copies of the original, with the chakra split amongst them. Including the bijū's chakra," Koharu added. "What if they access it and decide to use it against the village as an act of vengeance?"

"Their lives are tied with Naruto's. They will follow his wishes and will always try to act in his best interest," Hiruzen said.

"That's what worries me the most, Hiruzen. Their loyalty is to the boy, not Konoha. It relies on his loyalty towards the village and the inhabitants haven't exactly given him much to earn it. And what if they decide at one point the Leaf is too detrimental for his existence. What would their reaction be to act in his best interest?" Koharu asked.

"I think we may be past that point. As you've said the villagers haven't shown him the best of treatments," Hiruzen let out a sigh.

"All the more reason to act now before it becomes too late," Koharu said.

"And what should we do then?! Have a Yamanaka purge his mind of all traces of them? Lock him up and strip him of all of his emotions? That's exactly something Danzō would do! And if you remember, he has wanted to do it for a long time," Hiruzen said, which made both of the Council members grimace.

They may have agreed with some of Danzō's militaristic ways and actions, but they were far from supporting his ideology. What that man did to those under him went way past the line of inhumane into the very dark territory of monstrous. Still..

"You're being emotional, Hiruzen. Always when it comes to that boy," Koharu said. "The village always comes first."

"He is part of the village as well. One of our own ninja," Hiruzen said.

"Do I need to remind you of the teachings and ideology of our teachers! The Shodai said it best, no one person is above the village!" Koharu raised her voice for the first time in years. Not since the actions of one Uchiha Itachi.

"To what end, Koharu? It is precisely because of that ideology that we've found ourselves into this predicament," Hiruzen didn't relent.

"What is it that you propose, Hiruzen?" Homura's calm voice cut through the tension and his old teammates calmed down.

"I have made a deal with them. As long as we leave them alone, they will work for the benefit of the village."

"And you believe them?" Koharu asked.

"I made it with Yami. He is the side of Naruto that holds all of his repressed feelings and hatred. He out of all of them offered this deal, which means they all understand that cooperating with the village is in Naruto's best interest. I believe in their desire to support him," Hiruzen said.

"That seems rather naïve, Hiruzen," Koharu pointed out.

The Hokage slammed a fist on his desk. "We owe at least this much to him for his sacrifice! He considers himself a weapon, a tool to be used for the village, damn it!" his voice wasn't a shout, yet it was still firm and unwavering. "And we owe it to the Fourth for his as well!"

Homura and Koharu exchanged a look. A lot of silent words could be exchanged along with it. After a few seconds Koharu's features softened ever so slightly, something that hadn't happened again since the Uchiha Massacre. Sometimes, this job got too much. And that was exactly why they had to do it. Because there was no one else.

"Very well," Homura spoke. "You will have our support. When will you address the jōnin with the matter?"

"During tonight's jōnin meeting to discuss the new genin teams. The Clan Heads will be present as well, since it seems a lot of the Clan Heirs are in this year's graduates," Hiruzen said.

"A lot of promising students this year," Koharu said.

"Indeed, a lot of surprises as well. Kakashi actually passed a team this time," Homura said.

"I think we all know who gets the title when it comes to surprising," Hiruzen chuckled, picking up his pipe and taking a much deserved draw.

**!~¡**

They had almost reached team Gai's training ground when Yami spoke to her.

"Kiyomi," he said, making her tense immediately. "I have a task for you."

"Yes?" she turned to him and asked with her usual quiet voice.

"I think it's time we started looking into who our parents are," he said, making her gasp slightly.

"W-what? How?"

"Start with that memorial stone. If they were ninja that were killed in action, their names should be on it. Maybe even the names of any relatives. We don't have much to go on besides our last name and it may not even be our real name.. But it's a good start as any," Yami said and received a nod. He continued, "If there isn't an Uzumaki on the stone, check the cemeteries. Maybe someone would be buried there."

"Why now, Yami-niisan?" she asked.

Yami lifted a brow at her way of address but ignored it. "It's something Naruto has always wondered about. It's also missing information about our past and that can be dangerous, I don't want someone exploiting it. The less leverage anyone has on us, the easier our lives will be," he explained.

"What about Naruto-niisan and the others? Should we tell them?" she asked.

"They'll find out tonight anyway, so don't bother for now," Yami waved it off. "It'd be nice if we had a name by then," he mused, which made Kiyomi swallow harshly. For some unexplained reason related to feelings, that made Yami backtrack almost immediately. "Don't feel pressured or anything to rush. If those happen to be dead ends, I'm sure there're other places we can check. We'll figure things out as we go, like usual. It's what we're best at."

Kiyomi nodded and gave him a small smile. "All right, Niisan. What about Kakashi-sensei's book?"

Yami hesitated for a moment and rubbed his chin in thought. "That's also a priority. I guess start by looking for the names and if that comes out as a dead end go and find the book and read it. How's the speed-reading going by the way?"

"It's going well, I should be practicing it as much as possible at the moment. There will be better techniques as I progress."

"Good uh.. Good job," for some reason Yami felt the need to say that, which earned him a slightly bigger smile. "Off you go now, you know what to do if something comes up."

"See you tonight, Yami-niisan," Kiyomi said and headed back towards the memorial stone.

Yami let out a sigh. He was close enough to team Gai's training ground to already hear the shouts. It seemed like Gai-sensei had returned earlier than expected. He braced himself for an afternoon filled with youth.

**!~¡**

**(1) taijutsu - **literally means "body techniques"; Any techniques involving the optimization of martial arts and one's natural human abilities.

**!~¡**

**Author's ramblings: This chapter was surprisingly hard to write. I had a lot of the scenes and actions planned out since the moment I began the story, but for some reason putting it on paper took a while. My Word also crashed at one point and for some reason the save and auto-save functions did not work properly and I had to rewrite a large chunk of it. I hope it doesn't happen again, I felt like crying T_T**

**What do you think of this chapter? I had a lot of fun writing some bits. Literally. I laughed for about 10 minutes until my lungs started to hurt. I'm sure you can guess which bits I'm talking about.**

**I had a question about the clone's appearances. I guess I should recap them quick since they were spread around many chapters. Naruto and Yami's attire consists of the usual tracksuit from the first part coupled with a black leather harness strapped to their shoulders for the tant****ō, much like Uchiha Shisui's. Even though I like orange, I don't like the combination with the blue, so that will probably change at some point. Naruko is wearing a French Maid uniform, except everything that's normally white on it is orange. Her tantō is fastened in the big ribbon made from the apron's belts and instead of kunai holster she has leg garters that hold her stockings _and_ her knives. The red swirl is on her apron at the front. Honō is wearing the green body-suit with orange leg-warmers and the orange jacket on top, with its sleeves cut at the shoulder to emulate Gai's jōnin vest. He also has the green goggles on his forehead to hold his hair since the forehead protector is around his waist and the tantō is strapped under his right leg-warmer. Sarge is wearing the dark grey T&I uniform, much like Ibiki's with the same harness for the tantō like Naruto and Sarge. Over it he's wearing a dark orange trench-coat with short sleeves and black flames at the lower edges and the edges of the sleeves. There's a red swirl on the back and he wears his forehead protector like a bandana. Finally, Kiyomi is pulling off the librarian look with a dark orange skirt, black mesh pantyhose, white shirt and an orange cardigan draped over her shoulders with the red swirl at the back. Her hair is in a bun with a pair of long senbon visibly sticking from it and many other hidden inside.**

**Huge thanks to my wonderful reviewers **NUKninja**, **Gelasia Kidd**, **Remzal Von Enili**, **Mistroz**, **Waldo Santiago**, **LordTicky**,** Kyo no Kitsune**, **Umbra-Venator**, **Uber Ghidorah**, **tastybigsexy**, **DarkflowerofTc**, **GravityTonttu**,** TazalTerminals**,** Paradox009**,** gemava**, **ToAruKagakuNoPersona**, **turtlefan16**, **Tango Charlie**, **maleficus-lupus**, **GJMEGA**, **DPSS**, **Mental-Shifter**, **Lair of the East**, **gushing lilacs**, **wolfielove15**, **Guest(8)**, and **doomsdarkrai**! Here are some responses and as usual if you don't receive one, it means spoilers.**

**Remzal Von Enili: **Maaaaaaaaaybe **;)**

**Kyo no Kitsune: **That came up as I was writing. I wasn't too sure about it either, until a scene of Minato talking to Kakashi about his "little girl" popped into my mind. Poor Kakashi..

**Uber Ghidorah: **Mecha Naruto, Menma? Sorry, I haven't read those fanfics. The Mecha Naruto one sounds interesting and who's this Menma? You're the second one to tell me about Red vs Blue. I think I might go and watch that, sounds like something funny.

**DarkflowerofTc: **I made a quick recap for you and anyone else that needs it right before the responses. **;)**

**GravityTonttu: **Whoops, thanks for the correction, I can't believe I made that mistake. Then again, I never paid much attention to how the First was called. There are no plans for the Rinnegan, but you might be on the right track. Look forward to the fight with Pain, that's all I'll say. **;)**

**TazalTerminals: **Changes in what way? Personality, gender, etc.? Any changes that will occur will be a direct result of Naruto developing split personalities. You'll have to give me more details if it's something else you mean. **=p**

**gemava: **You know that's a very interesting idea, I've never considered something like that. I'll think about it and see if I can add it.

**ToAruKagakuNoPersona: **Haven't read that one.

**Tango Charlie: **I don't think all 6 of them will participate in team activities at the same time. For example not everyone would be needed for D-ranks.. Probably. I think future chapters will show that.

**GJMEGA: **I don't think that can be considered as simply an anime trope. For one, women pushing men around exists in and is the basis of many TV shows and literature. "Malcolm in the Middle", "The Simpsons", and Wodehouse are some examples. Second, women pushing men around happens to exist in real life as well, often with some very funny consequences. I believe there is an American term known as "whipped". Lastly, I have two sisters. Some of the things Naruko does may have been inspired by them. That scene with the hot sauce? Not even the only time I got food poisoning from one of their culinary experiments. It may seem pathetic, but it is also the sad reality of the male portion of the human race. I think Shikaku put it best when he explained things to Shikamaru.

**DPSS: **I feel the same way about Kurenai. However, I think as a young newly promoted jōnin it would fit her behaviour. The scene was also a response to her behaviour in a few stories I've read. I also had a lot of fun writing Yami's bit.

**Lair of the East: **I think this chapter should have provided answers to your questions. **;) **That.. Or I didn't manage to show things properly. I'm sorry if that's the case, I'll explain what I meant in a PM if you still have questions. **=s**

**doomsdarkrai: **You know, I'm worried about it as well. But I can't help myself, it's just my style of writing to go into long-winded descriptions. I don't really plan for this to go too long though, I can't foresee more than 60 chapters and even that's pushing it. I have plans for some events and the story in general and I've even planned some of the ending.. I think. But really, the focus are the Uzumaki's and they will always be the main point.

**So many responses! Done now! Unfortunately, the next chapter might take a bit longer. I have to figure out what should be in it. I'll do my best to have it done in 3-4 days or I'll run around Konoha.. 5 times?**

**Ta-ta !~**

**!~¡**


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